Poncetastic Christmas 2021

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2021 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she is), at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Thanks @Peridot1 I'll definitely check out Pinterest. Might help me actually source what I'm looking for.

I had a bit of a rough week, so I cheered myself up by buying seven Christmas magazines (I am not even going to contemplate how much they cost).

So far I have identified 45 recipes and 15 craft projects that I would like to do, which is definitely doable in the 81 days left, right?

@MarisPiper92

I had a bit of a rough week, so I cheered myself up by buying seven Christmas magazines (I am not even going to contemplate how much they cost).

So far I have identified 45 recipes and 15 craft projects that I would like to do, which is definitely doable in the 81 days left, right?

It depends. If the recipes include one from Heston Blumenthal recreating a medieval Christmas banquet and the craft projects include crocheting a life sized nativity, then no 😂

@StormyCornishSeas I have to be very careful to keep it low-key as otherwise I take on way too much.

I also get stressed when there’s too much tat everywhere (even if it is Poncetastic Christmas tat) so a few carefully chosen beautiful things is better for me. But at the same time I love the cosiness of all surfaces covered with quite random handmade decorations...so it’s a constant tension between my two sides!

@SleighQueen I love the stamps! Where did you get them from, please?

Thanks holly they are from Noolibird noolibird.com someone on this thread last year recommended them.

She has so many really beautiful ones that I just want to buy them all!

I think what I live most about stamping though is that it doesn't require any actual artistic talent from me to get a nice effect 😂

@SleighQueen that’s exactly why it appeals! 😁 I’ve made really elaborate Christmas cards in the past but this year I want to just be really chilled (I have a big family on both sides so there are lots of cards to send). Might pick up a few stamps to make it nice and easy...

(Also when I made those really elaborate cards - hours of painstaking work designing/cutting/assembling - no one mentioned it or likely even noticed....I’m still smarting a little from the lack of praise for my artistic abilities 😆😆)

@MarisPiper92 please can we have a quick review of the 7. Just first impressions

So far I have looked at good housekeeping and bbc food homemade Christmas but put them back as I do have quite a few Christmas books

I’m imagining @MarisPiper92’s house set up as some kind of mass production Christmas workshop à la Blumenthal...😆😆

@HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule

(Also when I made those really elaborate cards - hours of painstaking work designing/cutting/assembling - no one mentioned it or likely even noticed....I’m still smarting a little from the lack of praise for my artistic abilities 😆😆)

I feel that! Hours of painstaking fiddling with die cuts and for what?! 😂

With stamps I reckon you can easily do 30 cards an hour. The stamps aren't cheap but it's an investment right? 😉

I would also be interested in an official review of the Christmas magazines @MarisPiper92

@SleighQueen I may or may not have just bought a couple of stamps

Yay! Which ones did you go for?

This thread is definitely bad for my wallet!

I honestly spend most of my time on the Poncetastic threads saying ‘no’ to myself...

I agree @HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule, except that I mainly seem to be saying 'yes' at the moment.

It turns out that I cannot count, and actually have eight Christmas magazines. Here is the mammoth review, in no particular order:

1. Good Housekeeping Christmas Collection: entirely food/foodie gifts. Massive, and gorgeous photography. Covers the traditional stuff, but also has loads of canapés and party dishes, with a lot I want to try. Lots of veggie stuff too. Definitely the best one for food.

2. Country Living: very beautiful photography, probably more for inspiration than anything practical, though still a few good recipes I want to try (again, mainly party/canapé things).

3. Your Home Christmas: cheaper and less glossy, but surprisingly good. Recipe section is fun, with some v. good biscuit ideas. Also covers crafts, decorating, and instructions on making a foliage wreath which I plan to use.

4. Simply Christmas: looks nice, but has a long gift guide which I never find very helpful. BUT comes with a little bauble-shaped wooden decoration pack, which I plan to use to make clay baubles, and as a pastry stamp.

5. Ideal Home: another quite nice general one, with more a focus on decorating and interiors (unsurprising).

6. The Christmas Magazine Bundle (with the following two): quite small mix of gift guide, decoration ideas, and reading suggestions, but ok value with the following two.

7. Christmas Magazine – Crafts: v small supplement. Quite cute, not especially original but am going to steal the idea of creating tiny Christmas scenes inside old sardine tins. Possibly good for older kids.

8. Christmas Magazine – Food: another supplement with the above. Twists on traditional recipes, nothing too unusual, and all look quite manageable. There are quite a few I plan to try. Am going to make the sweet potato soup and cheesy tear & share bread (instructions for both star shape and tree shape!) this week. Also has a decent review of some of the supermarket offerings if you were planning to buy in, but can’t imagine many Poncers doing that.

Having lots of fun with all of them, but top recommendations are GH and Your Home. Haven’t seen BBC Good Food anywhere. I CANNOT buy any more, but will struggle to resist if I see any of the other GH editions, will have to content myself with buying the complete GH bundle next year.

That was by far my longest ever MN post.

I want them all!! 😭😭

I only tend to say no to myself in regards to Christmas poncing because in my immediate family unit we have 3 birthdays in Nov/Dec so it’s rather an expensive time of year...and autumn/winter means a deep craving for boots and a beautiful new scarf, so I have to try to prioritise that too. Sigh.

@HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule I completely relate! Although I have loads of winter boots as 2 years ago I bought a really expensive (to me) pair of lovely Dune boots and then panicked and bought 2 more similar pairs second hand in order to bring the average price down

@BeastOfBODMAS that sounds just like something I’d do...

I have quite a few pairs of boots but they’re all mid to high heel and I’m at the stage now where I don’t want to wear those day-to-day, so I’m in need of a flat pair. And I got rid of a couple of wool/silk scarves this year because I was bored of them and wanted to free up space for new things. Of course now I can’t find anything I love that isn’t hugely expensive. Sigh.

@BeastOfBODMAS

Your logic is impeccable!

Thanks for the reviews @MarisPiper92 I think it's going to be GH for me. Is Prima still going? My mum always used to get that and I remember good recipes

@SevenSwansASwimming that snowflake looks great! I'm going to have another go tonight.

In other knitting news I'm going to knit a load of miniature Christmas jumpers and stitch everyone's initials on. They knit up fairly quickly and look great!

@SleighQueen
Sorry if you've answered this but where did you get your Holly stamp from?
I got a lino printing starter kits for my birthday and am thinking I might try something with that.

My poncing efforts were thwarted today. I spent ages in a craft shop picking up bits and pieces only to realise I had left my card at home. So as to not walk out empty handed after meandering around as the only customer for nearly half an hour, I made the painful decision to put everything back and buy the one thing I could afford with the fiver in my wallet!

I wonder if I should buy a magazine or two...although dh does already grimace when he walks past my pile of house magazines so maybe I should wait a while

I saw the Good Food one in Tesco I think. I went at 7am to buy their Morello glacé cherries and large bottles of gin. I looked less poncetastic more alcoholic!

I hope Prima is still about. I bloody loved Prima. I did subscribe to a magazine app for a while. I may liven it up again to look at old Christmas issues.

May I suggest you see if your library offers online access to magazines ? Mine does and it’s a good way of leafing through and deciding which one you want to invest cash in buying !
More Scrooge than poncetastic but might free up cash for more poncing !

Oh great idea @Trumpton plus then dh needn't know about any of them!