At what age did your elf stop visiting?

[Pizical]

My youngest is 7 and this year he is getting sceptical. He asked me the other day if it was me moving the elf and I didn’t know what to say. all his friends also have elf’s and I know he would be disappointed when his didn’t arrive. I am not sure how and when elf should stop coming. Curious to get ideas from others.

@Pizical surely when santa isn't real anymore? We don't personally do the elf thing but thats what I would assume if santa sends the elf...

He’s already sceptical, it’s time for truth!
I’m never allowing that damn elf in my house 😂

Ok thanks. I guess that is the straight forward answer !

He told me how sad he would be if elfie wasn’t real. So I am stuck between lying and disappointing him. He is fully on board with Santa so I don’t want to ruin that yet

I imagine we will be lumbered with the elf until the kids leave home. I only have one believer now and the older ones love moving the elf around each night and thinking up things for it to do, trying to see who can come up with the best ideas.
They like hiding it for me to find, they still like getting up in the morning and looking for it when it hasn't been their turn to move it.
I am stuck with it for ever.

Sewbean, see that sounds fun. I haven’t let my older one join in moving as I think the younger one would not like to find out it had been his big brother doing it. Maybe I am overthinking

We never did the elf, wasn't a thing back then. But we absolutely still do Father Christmas, every year I say "so I guess none of you believe in FC anymore"

This is followed by "of course 😁"

They get one token gift from FC, but only if they "believe"

My kids are 30, 23 and 21 😂

Did you tell your older kids one day - sit them down and fess up?

This is part of the reason why I never started the elf. I think it's easier to disbelieve than father Christmas...

I'd keep it going at least for this year. Being sceptical is not the same as not believing and I think confirming it could be crushing!!

My kids are 8 and 7 and still believe in the elf and I regret starting the tradition with them 😂 but I guess I wouldn't stop until they didn't believe in Santa anymore.

That’s it. I think if I told the truth he would be crushed. I found an idea online that elf can retire and stay with you forever as a cuddly toy. So after Xmas day he could do this maybe to get us off the hook next year. I think finding out Santa isn’t real isn’t as crushing cos you never really meet him and you know you still get presents. But they really bond with the elf

My sister is 11 and doesn't believe anymore but still likes DM to do the elf for the past few years as she likes the excitement of finding it, to her it's better than an advent calendar.

It's part of the spirit of Christmas, some people "believe" others choose not to anymore.

This is the line I would go down.

I wouldn’t tell him anything yet. There’s a stage of questioning but still clinging to belief before they’re anywhere near ready for the truth.
Just turn the question around and ask what he thinks.

If you feel the elf is stretching the magic thin, maybe you could have a letter arrive saying that the elf won’t be coming this year for some reason. Helping Santa with an important mission? Or he doesn’t need watching because he’s so good?

But please don’t crush his belief before he’s ready.

I didn’t want to do the elf as I thought it’d be harder to maintain belief in it, but last year at 5 and 6 they insisted, despite me telling them it was just a toy and wouldn’t move. We got one, I moved it and dd12 moved it. I’ve insisted all along that I don’t believe in it and that one of the 2 youngest must be moving it in the night. Hopefully when they start to doubt this way they’ll just doubt the elf, not Santa.

I dont do naughty elves but for 15 years elves have visited and left our kids a daily treat of chocolate/sweets.

My girls are now 18 and 15 and the elves still leave daily treats throughout December.

My eldest is 17 and youngest almost 13. We got an elf about 4 years ago - it’s a stuffed teddy elf not one of the doll plastic face ones!!
Anyway, he arrives on the 1st December every year and brings an advent calendar. Then he turns up in really stupid places to make my boys smile and they now join in. So he’s been in my bed - in their underwear drawer - at their desks - in the saucepan cupboard . We seem to take it in turns to try and find the silliest places. Silly Christmas fun!!

I would imagine most kids wouldn’t believe by 7 -9

Thanks I am feeling a bit reassured. Hopefully in a couple of years he won’t feel quite so distraught at the thought of elf not being real and it will be an easier thing to come to terms with then

When you don't believe, you don't receive in this house.

After 6 LOOOONG years I can't face doing another. So I've sent a card from funky pigeon (it's got the official elf on the front) from our elf to DS, basically saying it's time for me to retire now that you're old enough that I know you'll be good, and good news, you get to keep me for snuggles.

We did a letter for my he elf last year when DS was 9. It stated that it would be his last year as he needed to go and visit a younger child next time. He excepted it!

It sure what a ‘he elf’ is but you get the point!

I have never told ds(15) santa doesn't exist. When he was cynical and asked around 7-9 I always replied with a I don't know what do you think?

Thankfully the elf wasn't popular back then so we never did it. I would probably start planting the seed now that elf might not come this year, he doesn't need to as ds has already proven he can be a good boy and santa will need him to work with another child they arent so sure of.

Weve had an elf for 15 yrs (before it became a thing here, i bought a robin hoid puppet and customised it) comes out every year with each chuld my eldest is now 18 and youngest is 2 so got a few more years yet 🤦‍♀️