Help me with wanky food parcel!!!

[Twitchintervention]

So my sister and her partner are early 30’s, no kids both with good incomes coming in and and are basically quite an Instagram wanky couple!!

She is not shy on coming forward with present ideas and we have been already sent through the annual gift idea spread sheet as she hates surprise’s

However they are both quite wanky foody’s and like to both eat out and cook a lot and I have it in my head a good way to really piss her off surprise her would be to make a small food hamper with lots of different ingredients, foods, and spices.

What would you suggest to add, looking for ideas that might make a meal a little bit more special or an ingredient that’s you wouldn’t ordinarily buy on your Tesco’s shop?

I suggest looking in waitrose or Selfridges for ideas. Oils, vinegars, pink Himalayan salt. I also hear crickets might be available there... lol.

Or look at some pretentious recipe cards and buy the stuff to make that meal.

Tk maxx has a great unusual food section.

Truffle oil
Pomegranate marinade
Good balsamic vinegar
Culinary gold leaf

Hmmmm.

Okay, so ideas that come to mind are:

Vanilla pods
Whole nutmegs
Whole star anises
Cinnamon sticks
Himalayan salt
Some posh Spanish smoked paprika
Pomegranate molasses

Or...are you anywhere that would have a decent Asian supermarket? Buy spices and spice mixes they've never heard of!

Chilli jam
Harissa paste
Dried mushrooms
Crackers
Wild venison chorizo
Dried habanero chillies
Arborio rice
Posh pasta

Pink salt
Truffle oil
Proper saffron

Kimchi, udon or ramen noodles, homemade bacon kit, Himalayan salt block, unusual chillies, wasabi, olive jam, bacon jam, Manuka honey....

Lakeland sell wild hibiscus flowers in syrup, they look amazing in cocktails or just at the bottom of a glass of Prosecco/champagne. About £10 a jar though!

These crisps would fit well (the name is not me btw - it’s a random twitter person)

A jar of membrillo to go with their cheese.

I found these lovely carrots in the farm shop last weekend - they’re just carrots but I think they look amazing!

www.boroughbox.com/foodie-gift-box?gclid=CjwKCAiAo8jgBRAVEiwAJUXKqEJs6rTkKryQNmOBwXdWtWPpN3Y-LNgTHsG9rB4TWeHyNxpDq_ojuRoC-okQAvD_BwE

Anything from here... www.boroughbox.com/foodie-gift-box?gclid=CjwKCAiAo8jgBRAVEiwAJUXKqEJs6rTkKryQNmOBwXdWtWPpN3Y-LNgTHsG9rB4TWeHyNxpDq_ojuRoC-okQAvD_BwE

Do you have a TK Maxx near you? They have all sorts of hitherto-undiscovered brands of food in there, wanky coffee, fancy honey, poncey olive oil, strangely coloured and shaped pasta, weird condiments and peculiar chocolates of many kinds. Should be right up their street.

I would make a hamper including the new Ottolenghi Simple book, and the 10 key ingredients, like this: ottolenghi.co.uk/simple-hamper-shop

(It would be much cheaper if you bought the book from Amazon and the other ingredients from supermarkets or online.)

I'd be tempted to get a Yotam Ottohlengi cookbook or look at website and pretty much guaranteed the first paragraph will have 15 random bizarre ingredients as ideas, most of which in fact can be got from Waitrose. I like his recipes.

I would think of a theme so
Italian - posh pasta, pestos, sun dried tomatoes, olives, recipe book, olive oil etc
Mexican - spices, flour for making tortillas, chilli plant, beans,
Thai - jasmine rice, spices and herbs for making curry paste, palm sugar, fish sauce, coconut milk etc

Zaatar, sumac, tahini, Lebanese 7-spice mix, Turkish chilli flakes (pul biber- yottam ottolenghi loves them).
If you can get to a Chinese supermarket, Szechuan chilli paste (I LOVE this stuff), miso, dried shiitake, Korean spicey bean paste (can’t remember its proper name), Japanese mayo, Japanese or Korean curry packet.
Chipotle paste or chipotles en adobe, dried ancho or chipotle chillis.

X-post @Tony2 !

I saw some potted Stilton in the co-op of all places.
Chipotle oil
Stockans oatcakes

Aldi have avocado oil (next to sunflower oil- no clue what it is)

Wow thanks guys...these ideas are great!!

They are also having a go fucking typically of being vegan. Does the Simple cookbook have vegan recipes or way to alternatively tween the recipes to vegan?

The Green Roasting Tin is a good veggie/vegan cook book. You sound a bit angry tbh but vegan cooking isn't at all wanky!

You’ve nothing but contempt for her, so why are you buying her a present?

Just tell her you think she’s a fucking typical pretentious wanker. At least that’d be honest.

Merry Christmas!

Get some of that pasta shaped like willies