A Jilly Cooper Christmas

[5318hoho8]

What might the Rutshire Lot eat for their Xmas lunch? etc

Taggie, not Tiggy. I am confusing this with the Balmoral routine. or should that be [bush]?

Plenty down here Stratters, we've not had a frost yet. There'll be a hunt on Boxing Day fo'shizzle.

I want a JC Christmas

^^SPRAYS!

I love this thread!

No sprats in my bush. Which is coming along naicely for Fannuary.

PS I had a sniff of Fracas in Harvey Nicks recently just because I'd heard of it in a JC novel. It is rank

I love it too. I want to have a Jilly Cooper Christmas almost as much as I used to want A Charlie Brown one.

Think of the hangover though. And then you'd have to start all over again for New Year's Eve.

No hangover, you just keep drinking.

Mrs Bodkin will help me in the kitchen all day and despite me having unwashed hair - I will still look radiantly gorgeous.

By I - I do of course mean Taggie.

I wish I drank whiskey from tooth mugs instead of keeping my tooth brushes in a whiskey glass < wistful sigh >

Rupert's eyes will be starting to get just a little glassy after his 18th whiskey.

All of the perfumes that the Jilly ladies douse themselves in are vaile; Fracas, Shalimar, Amarige...

Someone will wear a wool dress that will make them sweat. They may also fart loudly. They will have unwashed hair and pits.

This will not affect their ability to pull.

"Sprats bush"!!!

They're perfumes beloved of ladies of a certain age though aren't they?

The unwashed hair in pits will be lovingly fondled into a plait by the hot young blood that they manage to pull.

Someone will turn up unexpectedly causing their lovelorn female admirer who was hitherto drowning miserably in a vat of Baileys to rush to the bathroom to shave their legs in the sink and raid the hosts wardrobe for a men's white shirt to be worn belted with a tie as a dress...

Someone will heave their ten-stone elephantine bulk around to much mirth and slagging

I feel like Rannaldini might like to combine Xmas with Saturnalia (any excuse for an orgy, let's be honest) but the traditional rite where the servants become the masters would simply cause the fabric of the Rutshire space-time continuum to collapse. Can you imagine Mrs Bodkin sitting down to a slap-up feast served to her by Rupert? Heavens would fall.

Mind you, given the state of Jilly's last book, the horses would get some nosh whilst the beloved characters of yesteryear quietly died without fuss.

I reckon Jilly Cooper's an MNer.

Yep, Jilly's age, I would think...

Has she ever been on here for a chat?

We have asked but no milk as Angel would say

And there might be a power cut where Hermione ends up sitting on Taggie's beautiful crocquembouche, which she was up until 4am making, squashing it flat whist feigning fear of the dark as an excuse for pressing her ample bosom against a reluctant Rupert.

arf at no milk. What Bad Milk.