Dd taking Norethisterone, please tell me all the things her dad can object to about it!

[GoodAdvice]

Hi, sorry for the name change, I want to respect dds right to privacy.

Basically dd is due her period when we are on holiday, the holiday will be mostly swimming (of course) and dd is almost 14 and has never used tampons. Because the holiday will basically be ruined for her (it is now clear that she will start approx the day before we go and be on for nearly the whole time) the Dr is quite happy to prescribe her Norethisterone. I have done some research but I cannot find anything about serious side effects or possible long term complications anywhere. (I had to really draw the Dr to get him to give me any negatives and the best he could come up with was "she may feel a bit sick but no worse than a usual period" if she does then she can just stop taking it if she wants.)

Dd does not want to talk to her dad (we are not together) but I feel she should at least mention it to him or her step mum afterwards (it is likely her periods will follow the new cycle and that will be noticed at his house). Basically I am trying to find out as much as I can so that she can be informed when she talks to him/her - and so can I when I get the inevitable phone call about trying to feck up dds system/give her cancer/whatever else he can scream at me

So do any of you know much about it? The downsides as well as the up sides IYSWIM, I would be very grateful for any thoughts, feelings or information!

I know nothing about this medication - sounds ok to me. What I do think though is that your daughter is 14 and has every right to privacy. Why should she tell her dad or step mum about this if she doesn't want to? I wouldn't have wanted to talk to my dad about that sort of thing at all.

If you are concerned about the new cycle length being noticed then can't you just tell them beforehand that her cycles haven't been regular, you've checked with the docs and all is perfectly normal. That is after all the truth - kind of I just don't see that it's any of his business and if she doesn't want to tell him she shouldn't have to.

She lives there 50% of the time so they are well aware of where her cycles are - well, as aware as I am in that I notice when things disappear from the medicene cabinet IYSWIM.

Mentioning it, it is a tough one, if we were together I would agree with you 100%, however he has equal Rights" and I do think that taking hormone tablets is something that could be considered major and he should at least have knowledge of. The other thing is that he takes her to the Dr as well as me and it could well ge mentioned, I am sure he will feel that withholfding something liek this is a pretty terrible thing to do... mind you he thinks most things I do are pretty terrible

The reason for the step-mum thing is that they have a good relationship (dd and SM) and I think dd will feel pretty comfy with talking to her... having said that SM is a bit "new age" and is the one who is most liely to object to hormones... I think [confused emoticon]

Oh, sorry, and her cycle has been regular for a couple of years (unusually) so that will stand out too.

Why or rather WHO would be noticing and questioning your DD's menstrual cycles? They are no one's business but hers.

i wouldn't mention it

your DD is entitled to privacy

am slightly boggled that her menstrual cycles are anyone's business but hers and that a change in them may be noticed and commented on by anyone

I would be very surprised if they kept a diary of her cycle and that they would even notice TBH.
I don't think you need to tell her dad anything she has a right to privacy and this is none of anyone elses business.
I do understand what you mean about feeling you should my dc's are a lot younger but I do tie myself up in knots sometimes over deciding what their father should know and what really is noting that important.

Incidentally I have been given this before had no side effects and although it did slightly change my cycle it gradually sdjusted itself back over a couple of months.

Why is it odd that they would be noticed? As I said I mean "noticed" as in "Oh yes need to make sure there are some towels in GoodAdviceDD is due on soon" (none of us use towels) as she has been regular for 2 years then suddenly is not is bound to bring questions - if I were a dad I would probably think something along the lines of "oh cr*p I really hope she has not started taking the pill or something - best have a chat just incase she is out of her depth"

People notice things about the people they live with and love, I Am not quite sure why that is odd TBH!

Thanks Slattern - interesting that you reverted back!

Interestingly (well I think it is) dd, sm and I have all moved into synch with each other.. I have heard of that happening between women in the same house before but I am shocked and slightly amused that it has happened across households like this

I took it for my wedding and honeymoon. I had some slight bloating but no other adverse effects. Good on you for thinking of this for her- has she thought about using tampons at all?

Thanks Suwoo, it was actually inspired by a thread here the other night, I can't really take credit! WRT tampons, she tried a few months ago, she just didn't feel comfortable with them and didn't even get to the actual "trying on for size" stage. I think they are best left in the cabinet so she can try it out whenever she is feeling brave IYSWIM.

Would a mooncup be easier? Not for the holiday, perhaps, but I've found it much more comfortable than tampons. Mind you, I'm not 14 any more...

It was just the way you said her father would notice and comment, and that there would have to be explanations. It sounded intrusive, but if that is not the case then why are you worried? Perhaps your dd could give a non commital answer about the change in routine, excitement etc upsetting her cycle. Surely everyone knows that a teenage girl's cycles are prone to disruption.

Habbibu, I thought that - I have to admit that my own hang ups with them may be colouring my ability to advise dd use them IYSWIM!

Provincial, I feel that he will be cross if he finds out I have allowed dd to take a hormone based product without letting him know, AFAHK there could be all sorts of thing that it may mean for dd and I am pretty sure that he would want some say - basically I am expecting he would react in a similar way to if I had put her on the pill for period pains, he will feel it is a major thing that he should have some input into or knowledge of. TBH I kind of think that too, she is not yet an adult and taking drugs of any sort can have serious effects. As i said, her cycle is not changable, even thoiugh it is normal for it to be.

WRT to the medication - I was given that (eventaully) after bleeding contiunally for 5 weeks - which according to the doc was normal.
The one thing I did notice was that it made me itch, and I was prescribed an antihistamine for that. No other problems taking it though

2 things -

I have taken this, i had no side effects and it worked, fucked my system up (but thats mainly because now im trying TTC)

secondly, when I was 14 - I lived with both my parents, and I NEVER never told my dad any thing about my periods, and neither did my mum, so wouldnt worry about it - its her body.

Maybe talk about tampons with her?

I'm not sure many 14 year old girls would like the idea of a mooncup. I know a few women who find it gross. I certainly would not have been ready at 14 to deal with my menstrual flow that closely.

I suppose I just find it hard to understand that a man would be that direct with his DD about her periods - most men I know would eat the sanitary protection product of their choice before raising the subject Maybe that is just my family though.

Seriously though, at 14 she is entitled to a large say in what goes on re her body. I am pretty sure that if she went to the GP on her own she would have been prescribed it without either of your permission. Surely it is normal for a girl to consult her mum and not her dad over something like this? It's not really a 50:50 thing IMO. But of course it is your family set up and you obviously feel uncomfortable so fair enough. I bet he doesn't even notice though.

I have a 14YO DSD and, other than the initial 'this is where I keep sanitary items you might need', I haven't spoken to her about it (why would I????)

I do keep an eye on the cabinet too and keep things 'stocked up' so I have a good idea what's going on and when, but I would never mention it. She knows she can talk to me if she needs to.

I can only speak from my DH's and my PoV, but (other than to check that DSD had taken advice and was happy about the decision made), I wouldn't pry.

I think the LAST thing a 14YO needs is her dad jumping up and down about her hormones!!

My DH is sometimes aware when DD15 has her periods (can't go swimming or having bad pains), but the furtherest he would go is sit with her if pain is bad. If DD doesn't want to talk to her Dad then you need to respect that. If he finds out about medication you do need to point out to him she is growing up and it's her choice what she discusses with him.

From a recent discussion with my GP (and for the same reason) it is a progesterone hormone. As a result there is a slight increase in the risk of a deep vein thrombosis so your dd needs to think about the usual advice for flights (try to move around, drink plenty water, no alcohol). She also needs to stop taking it if she experiences any unusual headaches/migranes.

But I don't think that it is associated with any long-term side effects, especially as you only take it for a relatively short length of time.

it may be a good idea, if you talk to your EX or his partner and mention - incase of any adverse side effects whilst away - don't make an issue out of it infront of your DD, you guys are still the parents.

Onlywants... duh moment.. I didn't even think to mention it myself! Dd has been dealing with day to day stuff herself for so long that we only really discuss changes to arrangements etc, unless something big comes up! (ahh the benefits of a relaxed parental relationship!).

Simple, once we are back I will just give SM a call to let her know what she has taken incase there are any effects/problems that mean they need to know.

Ladymuck, thank you for that, the DVT is one to watch, we are not going on a plane so it should not be too much of an issue but is great to know what to watch out for!

SDR, good point about her body - her choice, I think I am finding the switch between 'tell because we are both parents and he should have that informtion' and 'do not tell because she is approaching young adulthood and she has the right to her own life' IYSWIM.

Provinciallady, you are probably right, the gp may well have given it to her anyway, he was so laid back about it he was practically asleep - which surprised me a little!

WRT her sm, she has been part of her life since dd was pre-school and they have a fab relationship, they do discuss periods, sex etc and I am very pleased about that - this is another reason I kind of feel dd should let SM know, I would feel addened if I was left out of the loop abut somthing like this and I suspect that SM will be a little too.

Onlywantsone, how do you mean about your system? Do you mean WRT ovulation patterns and the like or something more synister than that? (not wanting to make ovulation sound small - clearly it is very important when you are TTC)

well, I had the depro jab following 2 MC and couldnt face even the thought of getting PG again any time soon, but, I bled for 9 weeks after the depro, and my dr gave me the noristherone (primulut) to stop it, which it did....

sooooooo - all in all it did its job, I didnt notive any WRT, and my cycles would have been useless after all that any way. Ie been false hormone free for about 4 months, and have only had one normal cycle since. I am TTC i doubt your DD is...

If you would take it for your own needs, if it was your holiday etc - then give it to your DD....
after all if the GP think it is safe, and your DD is happy about it, then do it.

Well, if there were no tampons in existence then yes I would take it, although I am a bit funny about hormone stuff myself, I don't like the pill and so on. I feel that it is only 10 days and it is a one off then there can be very little long term harm or complication. With regard to dd I feel that the potential for ruining her holiday is worse than the potential for a bit of nausea or bloating IYSWIM (you are right, as far as I know she is not TTC ).

I assume your situation is caused by the combination of depro and Norethisterone rather than the Norethisterone alone? FWIW I bled for 3 months with the depro, my gp told me there was nothing to be done and I would have to get on with it - then asked me why I wanted a coil rather than another injection once it had finally stopped