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Original poster

Dd taking Norethisterone, please tell me all the things her dad can object to about it!

59 replies

GoodAdvice · 23/07/2009 19:42

Hi, sorry for the name change, I want to respect dds right to privacy.

Basically dd is due her period when we are on holiday, the holiday will be mostly swimming (of course) and dd is almost 14 and has never used tampons. Because the holiday will basically be ruined for her (it is now clear that she will start approx the day before we go and be on for nearly the whole time) the Dr is quite happy to prescribe her Norethisterone. I have done some research but I cannot find anything about serious side effects or possible long term complications anywhere. (I had to really draw the Dr to get him to give me any negatives and the best he could come up with was "she may feel a bit sick but no worse than a usual period" if she does then she can just stop taking it if she wants.)

Dd does not want to talk to her dad (we are not together) but I feel she should at least mention it to him or her step mum afterwards (it is likely her periods will follow the new cycle and that will be noticed at his house). Basically I am trying to find out as much as I can so that she can be informed when she talks to him/her - and so can I when I get the inevitable phone call about trying to feck up dds system/give her cancer/whatever else he can scream at me

So do any of you know much about it? The downsides as well as the up sides IYSWIM, I would be very grateful for any thoughts, feelings or information!

OP posts:
Original poster
GoodAdvice · 23/07/2009 21:56

Thank you everyone, you have been really helpful
I do love it when MN points out the bleedin obvious course of action that you would have missed completely if left to your own devices!

OP posts:
OnlyWantsOne · 23/07/2009 22:02

best of luck to you all x x

Dragonrider · 28/07/2009 18:04

Your dd could have an abortion without telling either you or her dad. I'm obviously not saying she would do this, just pointing out that it's really her decision what happens to her body now. If she wanted to have private doctors appointments then you wouldn?t have any right to access her medical records unless her doctor thought it was in her best interests. I was prescribed the pill at 14 without my parents knowing because I was in a swimming club and needed to be able to ??schedule?? periods. Your dd decided to tell her mum (or bring you along to the doctor), but that doesn't mean she should / will want to tell her dad or step mum, and I don?t think that gives you the right to tell anyone else. That should be totally her decision.
It also seems a bit odd to me that her periods are such a family event. Is she ok with this? I would have found it really embarrassing at her age I think. Would she be happier if you just gave her the pads to keep in her room and use when she needed to, she could then dispose of them discreetly, and no one would have to know. Alternatively you could give her the money to buy her own, if she was confident enough to do that.

Original poster
GoodAdvice · 28/07/2009 18:13

It is not a family event, as I said earlier it is noticed in so far as when to buy new pads etc. She does dispose of pads discreetly, in the bin like most people and of course that is noticable when the bin is emptied by any adult - ie I have not been on my period but the bin is full of used pads, guess hat must be the other female who lives in the house and is having periods then.

TBH I am a bit surprised that you think it is not something you would notice about anyone you were living with - pads/tampons moved around cupboards, bins filled quicker with neatly wrapped packages and so on - it is just a matter of simple observation not invasion of privacy.

OP posts:
Dragonrider · 28/07/2009 18:22

Sorry I didn't notice the second page here to see this bit. I was a bit shocked to see that you think her dad might notice it or mention something. It also seems a bit odd to me that at 14 she has to wait for you to get new pads for her. Prehaps my family were odd (I grew up with my grandma) but I was told were pads were if I needed them for an emergency, but other than that I was given money to get my own because it was assumed that if I was old enough to have periods I was probably old enough to deal with them too.

Original poster
GoodAdvice · 28/07/2009 18:30

She doesn't have to wait until I buy them I just replenish stocks when they run low - same as I replace bread, milk, loo cleaner and anything else that is a consumable in the house. I am confused at why you think me buying sanitary items means she is not dealing with her period?

She is perfectly capable of buying them but why does she need to? She would have to make a special trip to the shop for them where they cost more, there is less choice and they do not have the ones she likes, I would have to make sure I have the money in my purse at the right time for her to go to the shop... isn't it much more simple for me just to stick a pack in the trolley when I go to the supermarket?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 28/07/2009 18:33

bloody hell, this poor 14 yo girl appears to have no privacy at all !

I cannot imagine why you name changed, tbh, since her cycle seems to be up for discussion whichever house she is at

it is absolutely no business of her fathers at all, I don't understand why his opinion is being considered at all

anyway, fwiw, I have taken norethisterone and it made me into a raging, premenstrual psychopath after never suffering from PMT before

so, not to be taken lightly, but in the circs you describe, I think is worth the very tiny risk

Original poster
GoodAdvice · 28/07/2009 18:41

Oh for fucks sake, it is very clear that the problem is giving her drugs not her fucking periods. I don't give a crap if her dad never had a clue when her period was or not, I am trying very hard to work out if he should be told she is taking what could be a strong drug that could have serious effects on her system.

At no point have I ever said that her cycle has been discussed what a very odd thing to say.

The reason I know things is because she discusses them with me. Sorry if you lot do not have the same situation but hey, I would rather be able to discuss this crap with dd than send my child off to the shop with a couple of quid to "sort her own problems out" and hope for the best. Mainly because then, when things like this happen we can sort them out together rather than her sitting there and worrying all by herself that her holiday would be ruined because she had never even heard of this drug - which she hadn't.

Seriously, unfuckingbelievable

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 28/07/2009 18:48

OP, I can only speak for myself here

but what I was about was why her father's opinion was such an issue

and look back love, you put your concerns about that in your thread title, so obviously a large part of your thinking when considering your plan of action

Original poster
GoodAdvice · 28/07/2009 18:53

Because he is her dad and after having him take me to court twice for full custody (reisidency or whatever) because I supported her and the hundreds of calls to social services that he has made for everything from not washing her sheets daily to not buying her the right clothes (yes really those were issues raised to social services) I am very aware that he will use anything and twist anything he can.

But essentially, if she is taking strong drugs for any reason then, as her mum, I would like to know if her dad knows (ie the information should be shared). I was mearly trying to show him the same courtesy. Obviously that is a mis-guided notion. Like I said I was trying to pre-empt trouble.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 28/07/2009 18:57

oh, right, that explains it then

so why didn't you mention that in your OP ?

Mumcentreplus · 28/07/2009 19:01

Periods and discussing them with my mother was no big deal in my home..nothing to be ashamed or hide about..hey everyones different...

Original poster
GoodAdvice · 28/07/2009 19:02

Because I wanted information about the drugs not a discussion about how idiotic my ex is - I know that already, I don't know about the drugs though!

Sorry for blowing my top, it was not just you AF, a build up of being told the same thing many times when it was not relevant! Still disgusting behaviour though

OP posts:
clayre · 28/07/2009 19:04

i have used they tablets for years even as a young teenager for keeping my periods away while on holiday and have had no side effects, i will encourrage my dd to use them when she is a teenager and needs them.

Mumcentreplus · 28/07/2009 19:05

If you feel he should know..or thats it would be something you would want to know yourself if the situation was reversed..then discuss this with DD and if she's cool then thats ok..personally I would want to know..just incase she had any adverse reaction..

Original poster
GoodAdvice · 28/07/2009 19:05

Oh thank goodness Mum, so there are other people who talk about periods as a matter of course with their daughters then?

Seriously, it is just another "thing" here ie "gosh I have got a headache today, just what I need, I have an exam" or "Grr, my period started today, I was going to go shopping in town after school but I don't feel like it now".

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 28/07/2009 19:06

I am sorry too GA, didn't mean to needle you

I did give you my experience of this drug actually, right next to my sanctimonious -type comment

AnyFucker · 28/07/2009 19:09

and I wasn't judging the amount of discussion re. periods in your house, with you and your dd

just why her dads opinion took such credence, but you have explained that now

Original poster
GoodAdvice · 28/07/2009 19:10

I know you did and I meant to acknowledge that but I forgot in amoungst all the anger

So, do you relly think it was the tablets that affected your moods? (See this is the stuff that I wuld want to know about - if she suddenly got hormonal then her dad would accuse me of fu*king her system up)

Clayre, when you say regularly, how often was that? Like once a year, four times?

Mumcentre - that is exactly where I was coming from [phew]

OP posts:
Original poster
GoodAdvice · 28/07/2009 19:12

Ok - but she has the same conversations at her dads house too - mostly with her step-mum but I am sure her dad is still aware of the conversations. Is that odd then? (IYO)?

OP posts:
Mumcentreplus · 28/07/2009 19:12

I still discuss them with her now ..when I'm grumpy and she rings conversation is .. 'Mum I'm so pissed off got my period blah blah blah

Original poster
GoodAdvice · 28/07/2009 19:14

Lol - I do that too Mum "I am so fed up and down, I know it is just because my period is coming but I still want to sink a bottle of wine"

OP posts:
clayre · 28/07/2009 19:14

I have used it twice a year for a fortnight for about 15 years, i dont recall it changing my moods or my periods being any different, the only complaint i have is they didnt work this year but thats probably more to do with my body than the tablets

AnyFucker · 28/07/2009 19:15

yes, GA, the tablets were horrible for me but were taken for a different reason

I was ttc, having treatment and needed to have my period on a certain day to fit in with interventions that were not available on a weekend

my body was fucked up anyway, tbh, but they really did make me feel murderous

we laugh about it now, but I remember looking at my dh across the room and really feeling like I could physically kill him, my blood was boiling

very dramatic, I know , but I do think your GP is being a bit laissez-faire

have you read up on potential side-effects on the bumf or online ?

I am sure what I experienced would be rare

Mumcentreplus · 28/07/2009 19:18

If she's close to her SM and you have a good relationship with her then she would probably be the perfect person to mention it to..I'm sure Dad knows bits and bobs..but probably not much...SM seems like a good person to let know if DD is happy with that

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