Taking your nanny on holiday etiquette??

[Drinkerbell]

Hiya - we have just found a fantastic nanny and we asked her whether she would be comfortable/able to come on holidays with us.

We have 3 DCs under 6 and so it is a busy household!

I wanted to ask for the benefit of your wisdom on some good dos and don'ts for taking nanny with you on a summer holiday.

I spoke to one nanny just in general conversation recently who said she absolutely refused to fly with the family (she wanted to relax on the plane), she refused to have any children in her room, she expected lots of time to herself etc.

I wondered what the normal process is?
How much extra do you pay them? What are the general duties, time off?

Our nanny is not at all the type to be unwilling to pitch in but also we want to make sure we treat her well and are fair in terms of our expectations!!

Any thoughts much appreciated!

I'd expect her to fly with you (the other nanny sounds a right princess) and generally muck in during the day. When I nannied and went on holiday with the family I had all the kids in my room!!! and only got a break when I went for dinner in the evenings by myself - wasn;t much fun! I didn't last long after that.....anyway, why not discuss this with your nanny, and make sure she has some free time to herself and isn't on duty 24/7.

We take nannies with us. They always have their own room (we did once ask two nannies to share a room when we were on a two family holiday). We expect them to muck in with us and do anything we ask, with the proviso that they have at least 2 complete days to themselves. We also stipulate that they babysit for 3 nights, have 2 nights off and 2 nights where they join us for dinner. In reality we hardly ever use the babysitting thing. On the days off we usually give the nanny some spending money - enough for dinner and a couple of drinks, cab, etc, the actual amount varies dependnign on where we are.

And of course they are needed on the plane- that is the most stressful time. We tend to have one person lug all the hand luggage/buggy stuff, with the other two adults concentrating on the kids. It varies as to who does what (depends on the mood of the kids more than anything).

Oh, forgot to mention. If a nanny really goes beyond the call of duty in helping out when on holiday then we give them a cash bonus to thank them when the holiday finishes (we don't advertise it upfront) - normally equal to half a week's pay. For example, had one nanny who used to get up before us, get breakfast ready and then whisk the kids away first thing, telling us to just get back to bed and chill. Definately worth a cash bonus when you get that.

Yes, she should fly with you! You could base it on the hours she works normally. So say she works a 10 hour day Mon-Fri and based on a weeks holiday. You could give her a couple of days completely to herself. Then expect her to work her 10 hours for the other 5 days. So maybe this could be she does 5 hours one morning, then 5 hours in the evenings, so you can go out. Or a whole 10 hour day but has the evening off. I don't think your children need to necessarily go into her room, she's entitled to her privacy, but if she had her own apartment, yes. Depends on the accommodation your staying in! Hope this helps!

We did this once and found it was not worth it. We hired a cottage, nanny had her own room and we paid her her normal rate. Obviously we paid all expenses.

Apart from the one day she had the kids while we went hiking, she did not really do much at all. The kids would want to be with us the entire time anyway and the worst bit was when toddler DS came down with a nasty cold and I had to stay with him at the cottage while nanny went sightseeing with my DH and friends.

In the end she was very grateful for a lovely holiday and I felt somewhat resentful.

I travel with my family. I refuse to share with the DC's unless there is no room (they have forgotten once or twice). I work my normal hours and do the washing, etc as per normal. If we are away for the weekend I either charge weekend rates if I work. If they do not need my then they send me home (flight is cheaper then weekend pay) or pay for a train fare and hostel somewhere so I can get away for the weekend. Works well for all of us.

What do you see as being the benefits of your nanny coming on holiday with you?
What do you see as being negative points?
One negative is that, in my view, it doesn't count as holiday time for the nanny, so uses none of the 5.6 weeks holiday entitlement.
A positive is that you have a babysitter for a few evenings whom the children already know.

Be clear on the hours before you leave, rather than expecting the nanny to be "on-call" all the time. I'd help on the flight if being paid for those hours. And definitely must have her own room.

Travelling with a family isn't a holiday for the nanny - it's harder work than being at home because the parents are around, you're in an unfamiliar place, and you have nowhere to go in your time off. Personally I wouldn't do it unless paid extra for the inconvenience of being away from home.

Remember it is not her holiday and it is harder work.

2 ways to approach it:

One is she works normal hours under her normal contract, if travel involves working outside normal hours you pay her the agreed overtime rate and she has her usual time off, including evening and weekends. Babysitting is paid exta as per usual.

The other is she has a separate agreement for that holiday with revised hours and pay adjusted accordingly etc. I lay my original contract out to provide for this at the start and it's a 'temporary revision of usual terms and conditions' or some such wording.

I ALWAYS have my own room. If I'm sharing with the children then IMO I'm working overnight and they pay me. The only time I don't is when doing maternity work when I'm supposed to share with the baby anyway.

TBH taking nanny is not always the greatest idea. If you really need childcare help then look into hiring a holiday nanny to go with you who will have done it before and not be expecting things to go 'as usual'. I personally dislike travel unless it's a permanent feature of the job (expected every 6 weeks or so).

Thanks so much for all the helpful thoughts. So ordinarily you don't pay extra unless they work weekends/longer hours than usual?

sorry, cross posts with the last couple of messages!

I guess because we have 3 DCs who are all very young it's really hard work trying to keep eyes on all of them when we are on holiday.

She is a very hands on person and we would not be sitting back and expecting her to do everything while we lounge around. It's more like an extra pair of hands really and we would be happy for her to have her own room /time off etc.

I know we could have a really good conversation about it all beforehand, it's just great to get some views so that I know what the potential pitfalls might be.

Thanks again!

As a nanny if I was asked to go, I'd expect some sort of 'away from home' bonus I feel, if my hours remained the same.. Probably in the region of 25-35 pounds per day??

Yeah, sounds reasonable. I would expect to be paying her something additional, especially for looking after these little buggers...

I took a nanny on hols once. She really wanted to go and was only asked to b-sit one night in return for her fight, accom, etc. She sulked the whole time. Would have been soooooo much cheaper just to get a Saturday night babysitter. Silly me.

No way would I have paid her an increase to go on hols with me, but she was perfectly entitled to turn down the offer.

If this nanny has only just been recruited, then you don't know them that well. If they are live out, then consider if you could live with them for a week+, would they drive you mad? Could they live with you for that long, would you drive them mad?

This was 17 years ago but I went on holiday for 2 weeks with the family. I got 3 hours off and had to ask for that. The baby slept with me, I looked after her 24 hours a day for 2 weeks and I was bloody knackered. I got one extra day off for that.

You are taking the nanny on holiday to work but she also should have some free time.

She shouldn't have the children in her room, she should have some full free time off, as per at home if feasible, and if she does end up doing more hours than at home a bit extra money would be nice. Also when she gets home maybe give her a couple of days off to see her own family and friends?

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 Wed 10-Feb-10 18:44:47
This was 17 years ago but I went on holiday for 2 weeks with the family. I got 3 hours off and had to ask for that. The baby slept with me, I looked after her 24 hours a day for 2 weeks and I was bloody knackered. I got one extra day off for that.

You are taking the nanny on holiday to work but she also should have some free time.

She shouldn't have the children in her room, she should have some full free time off, as per at home if feasible, and if she does end up doing more hours than at home a bit extra money would be nice. Also when she gets home maybe give her a couple of days off to see her own family and friends?

thats shocking do people not go on holiday to spend time with there children especially when they wrk long hours and have to employ a nanny.

plus i no the nanny is there to wrk but going to an other country surely they want to get out and about and explore the country and enjoy it to.

The mum I worked for didn't have a job...

Why do you take a nanny away with you? Most hotels have a babysitting service for the odd night out, and on holiday, why is a nanny needed? If both parents are there? What do they do?

I use childcare while I'm at work, but am interested in the benefits (and disbenefits) of taking a nanny when both parents are there: my instinctive reaction is that having someone else there would feel rather crowded.

I generally go on holiday with my families. I have always flown/travelled with them (the only disaster being on a hairpin drive up the mountains - i TOLD them i got car sick and would be best in the passenger seat for that part). Tbh the parents sit and read the paper/sleep and i have to negotiate inappropriate meals and airplane nappy changes. I'm being paid - I don't care!

I have worked everyday, and babysat most evenings (either for the whole evening, after children have gone to sleep, or simply 'being in charge at night' so parents don't have to worry. Occasionally I have had a day off, or had a few hours off during the day - but mostly not.

In return for this I expect to be able to take it easy for a little bit(ie - like a parent I expect to be able to read my book -hahaha- while the kids play in the sand for a little bit, or put a dvd on so I can chill). If this is ok then I expect normal rate, and to be paid for extra days. I don't charge for babysitting in the evenings because I wouldn't be going anywhere anyhow - but don't refuse if it's offered. If the parents expect me to be a one man entertainment show 24/7 and have no relaxation time then I start getting arsey and ask for extra money for being away from home and for babysitting.

Re room sharing - I have to say I hate this. If it's possible I would prefer my own room (even if i have a monitor in with me) otherwise of course I'll share. I find I can't sleep well as I react to every little stirring from the kids and quite frankly if I dont sleep well I had better have a good supply of chocolate!

You said you'd talk to your nanny, and I think this will prove best. Just remember - as shes new she will say she's fine with most things - so maybe try to do a little extra than shes expecting - ie little extra pay, or a child chosen gift to say thanks, or an unexpected day off on return - it'll mean she'll be a very happy nanny and much more likely to go the extra mile for you next time.

Christ!! Can you tell I've spent the last 13 hours with 2 non responsive children?? Very sorry about the length of that reply!!

wonderingwondering - we have never taken our nanny precisely because of the feeling of being crowded. I know she'd be happy to do it, and I would assume she would work her standard hours (maybe rearranged slightly) with an "inconvenience payment" for the fact she was away from home. But when we've thought about it (usually because we've been going skiing and thought an extra pair of hands would help) we've always concluded it would be a bit awkward in the evenings.

Yes - while I'm at work I have lovely childcare and the children are happy. But when I'm not at work, I want family time.

So however lovely I think it would be to have an extra pair of hands (and eyes!) when we're away, I feel that our holidays are a break from the 'work' routine, for all of us. So having an extra person around would seem strange, even though they may be someone who is a big part of our day-to-day life.

Some parents want to do absolutely nothing for part of the time they are on holls - hence the nanny. In my case my families have children with SEN - so a regular babysitter or kids club can't/won't take them.

personally i prefer not to go on holiday with my family - though if they go to the carribean i may offer my services

tbh my family dont want me there, they work hard and actually want to spend time with their children when they are on holiday

they also go away without them and i have all 3 and dog and proxy parent for them for a week or so

sen care children are different

also children dont want to send time with their nanny while the parents are there,but if you do decide to take your nanny, then discuss hours/babysitting/evening and duties before you go