Nanny accessing internet to view inappropriate content

[redhen]

Just discovered that our nanny was viewing sites related to sexually transmitted disease and to order condoms whilst supposed to be looking after my young boys. Am v disappointed, nanny is loved by the boys and generally good so I am reluctant to find another nanny but on other hand think this is a major a breach of trust (as well as breach of contract). I am even more shocked that she would consider it to be appropriate to search on sites like this in daytime when boys are at home and might view the computer. (Eldest boy told me they were playing in garden whilst she was on the internet - which makes it even worse...). Has anybody else had similar situation - what did you do?

I've not had similar experience, but I would be worried not only about her lack of care towards the children, but the reasons for the internet search. It sounds like she is putting her own health and welfare at risk and calls her judgement in to question..

Are you for real? Both of you? Her sexual health is her business, not yours. The children were playing in the garden while she was viewing informative websites (not Fuckmyjuicybum.com). The only way you could possibly have any grounds to speak to her about this is if you are very demanding in general have forbidden her to use your computer.

Mind you, are you sure it was the nanny not your H who was looking the stuff up anyway?

In response to SolidGoldBrass - surely redhen has every right to be concerned? If the nanny's sexual health is her own business, then why did she use the family computer and during working time to access this information? By the way, I consider informative websites to be those that advise you how to practice safe sex, NOT those which describe signs and symptoms of STD's and where the nearest GUM clinic is!!

How can you say that looking for advice on STIs, and ordering condoms, is "putting her own health and welfare at risk? Sounds like very good sense to me.

Presumably she's an adult, buying condoms is a perfectly reasonable thing to do, as is looking at health information. In what possible way is she therefore risking her health and welfare. Do you suspect she might be having sex in her free time?

Is your garden really so dangerous that your dcs can't be in it without an adult?

i can't believe that you think this constitutes a breach of contract or a reason to get rid of her.

None of your business. I'd think she'd be mortified to think that you even know about this and that it would be rotten if you did admit that you know.

What a stupid thing to say mummy369 re what you consider informative. Informative relates to 'information' you numpty!

Might've been better for nanny to wait til she got home/was on a break - which she may have been.

If you would not have minded her buying a pair of socks online while the children were in the garden then you are being unreasonable. if you DO mind her using the internet in work time then you are not. The content of her surfing is irrelevant to this.

There's only one reason that young girls need advice on STD's and that's if they believe they have put themselves at risk. And don't you think ordering condoms AFTER the event is a bit late?

Back to redhen - I understand your concern and hope you manage to sit down with your Nanny and discuss this with her. Good luck.

I tend to feel that if a young girl has some idea what a genital wart looks like, she might be able to avoid getting them. You know, forewarned is forearmed, and all that.

Mummy369. Sorry but that is an assumption. There are many, many reasons why someone would look up an STI website. Maybe she is looking on behalf of a friend, maybe has never ever had sex and is merely informing herself and yes, maybe she has caught something at some point. Who cares, it is still nobodies business except hers. And also, if she has maybe caught something and is now making sure she uses protection, then that is a great thing.

People learn from their mistakes.

But then again, some people are so perfect that they never make mistakes.

What do the sexual antics of an individual have to do with one's boss exactly? Do you, M369, feel that whether or not you used a condom last Friday is relevant to your boss? Also, have you heard the phrase, lesson learned, or better late than never.

What do YOU think the nanny should do - ignore the possible STI (no longer referred to as STD or STD's as that would be an unnecessary apostrophe) and think 'sod it, I've risked it once might as well carry on in the same fashion'?

Urgh, I am getting wound up and it's going to ruin my DIY St Tropez if I get all hot and bothered (that MUST NOT happen or my labour video will be ugly) please don't say anything else silly.

I think you lot are making far too much of this post - you obviously don't agree with the concern redhen has for this issue nd quite frankly none of you have offered any support, advice or solutions. Perhaps you ought to worry less what my opinion is and be rather more constructive than critical in your comments!

Don't bite the bait hobbgoblin

Erm, buying condoms doesn't mean you didn;t use one the last time you had sex. It means you have run out and need some more.
If redhen has forbidden the nanny to use the computer when she is looking after the DC then that's fair enough (though I wonder if redhen ever goes on MN when she is alone with her DC?) but if her worry is that the DC might inadvertently see what is in the web history then an information site on sexual health is not, actually, that dreadful a thing for children to see. It's unlikely to be full of great big pictures of throbbing or diseased genitalia, far more likely to be lots of text with the odd thumbnail pic.

Redhen, if you haven;t already done so you should perhaps clarify with the nanny whether or not she is allowed to use your computer but have this discussion as though she had been going on Facebook/ordering her groceries online. Do not make a big issue out of your assumptions surrounding her sexual choices. Because her sex life is absolutely none of your business.

What she said.

HG, tis a waste of time, I know.

Redhen, hope you found all our useless advice, um, useful.

Well I am a nurse and have occasionally used the internet in work for personal use... doesn't make me crap at my job or unprofessional.

You are being unreasonable... If she was online for hours at a time then fair enough, but the content of what she looks at has naff all to do with you.

"Inappropriate content" YABU

No more inappropriate than MN which I go on all the time when my dc's are around. When you are a nanny you have to be able to do some of your own things during work hours, that's just the way it is. You go to the bank, phone your insurance company and use the internet.

....how old are the kids?

Mummy369 you mean none of us are agreeing with the op? Too right. Her nanny sounds pretty sensible to me
and I hardly think her boys will be scarred for life by seeing a website full of text or playing in the garden unsupervised for five minutes. Unless she grows some sort of deadly plant of course.

Mind you, have bookmarked the website that SCB mentioned at the beginning. Sounds good so am going to have a look at it while dd is watching the Night Garden

I agree with the majority of posters
Nanny sounds very sensible...looking after her own sexual health.
Would you be cross if it were any other website? ...would the fact that she was looking at another website (while the boys were in the garden) still annoy you?
I think the only thing you have bones to have her about would be if she is not allowed to use your pc/not allowed to leave the boys unattended for any time.

If the nanny works a full 12 hour day and does not have a computer at home how is she meant to find out this info? If I had a quiet 5 mins and was desperate to find out something I would do it at work. Libraries are not open that late. Internet cafes are expensive and always busy. It was not porn. The kids were not going to die by being in the garden alone (do you leave them in the garden alone?). If she was plonking the kids on front of the tv for 5 hours a day and then facebooking for hours on end then I would be concerned.

You're overreacting. And it would be a serious breach of HER privacy if you mentioned this to her

you've employed a person, not a robot. And a quick informative search on the internet while the kids are playing happily in the garden is a perfectly reasonable thing for an adult to do while in charge of children.

I don't know. I mean mumsnetting is one thing, but ordering condoms is something I would not do at work. And if I was looking after young children, I don't think it would be appropriate to have these things on my screen where the might sneak up behind me and say "What's that?"

See I am a sexual health professional and soon to be mother- afraid my computer is always viewing this type of content and my house is full of condom demonstrators, condoms and leaflets about STI's. My kids are probably going to be exposed to this stuff from a very young age and will be warped forever!

I think good on your nanny for taking her sexual health so seriously and chill out about it somewhat- if she was viewing porn or something like that then a different and more serious matter but in this case she was looking up stuff to protect herself and that is important. In fact I wouldn't be bothered if my (future) kids saw the content and asked what it is- learning about sexual health (at an age appropriate level) can never start too early in my book (although i appreciate many parents may disagree with my view).