Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

OK, I don't expcet sympathy , just want to rant

47 replies

Saltire · 02/12/2010 07:25

Was planning on tkaing the 2 mindees to village Christmas fayre today, and last night when their mum got back finally after being stranded on her shopping trip, she said "oh me and x (the mindees dad, her DH) are going down there too"

Am feckin raging because both mindees have major tantrums when they see their mum or dad when they are with me, and now I am going to have to manage their tantrums, in the realtively small confines of the village hall, whilst their parents wander round happily, and ignoring their children completely.

On Tuesday I had them for a few hours and I ended up having to shut the blinds and curtains and had the older one screaming for an hour because he could see his mum and dad outside on the street building a snowman and having a snowball fight with each other, from the living room window and kicked off wnating to join them

I just want to moan and get this off my chest since I have no colleagues to moan too

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

LoveMyGirls · 02/12/2010 07:28

Why did they build a snowman outside your house and why didn't they let their kids join in? Bit odd imo.

mousesma · 02/12/2010 07:29

Seriously? What kind of mean parents play in the snow without their children?

Original poster

Saltire · 02/12/2010 07:31

It wasn't right outside my house, it was on the street, but the way the street is designed, and the fact the windows are quite low, he could see them. They live on the same street.
I was raging.

OP posts:

MortaIWombat · 02/12/2010 07:43

That sounds really weird. On the occasions when I've been shopping when ds is in nursery, I've skulked in doorways in the fear that they'll be out for their walk and he'll see me. Poor little mindee. I bet he has more fun with you, though, if his parents think that's acceptable.

ichangedmymindagain · 02/12/2010 08:55

why are with you if their parents are at home ,do they work? . , what kind of people would do all the fun things ,ie buliding snowmen ,christmas farye without there children .Why would you ignore your own children , this is just plan cruel .

lukewarmcupofmulledwine · 02/12/2010 08:59

Wierd parents. If I'm out and about and see my kids with the cm, I try to hide! (work locally and from home sometimes) I certainly wouldn't ignore them if they did see me, or be out anywhere I knew they were going to be.

ichangedmymindagain · 02/12/2010 09:12

read ,am i being unreasonable , explains alot of why the children are with the CM.

pooka · 02/12/2010 09:15

God that is AWFUL.

When ds1 used to go to CM, I worked from home. If I saw them out and about I would hide too - just knew would be confusing and upsetting for ds1 and tricky for the CM.

pointydog · 02/12/2010 09:19

The parents sound like idiots. I'd ask them what time they are going so you can avoid them.

looneytune · 02/12/2010 09:59

This just adds to me feeling of towards these parents and I don't know them, just all the things you've told us over time. I feel soooooo sorry for these children but also for you as you've had no end of problems and it's all thanks to these awful parents :(

lukewarmcupofmulledwine · 02/12/2010 10:12

ichangedmymindagain - I don't understand what you mean? You mean the topic AIBU? How does that help?

nbee84 · 02/12/2010 10:14

I think she may be referring to this thread

lukewarmcupofmulledwine · 02/12/2010 10:23

nbee - yup, just found that one! (as I MN whilst the dc's are at the cms.....)

nbee84 · 02/12/2010 10:24

surrealreality · 02/12/2010 11:48

Is that not entirely normal? All the families I've nannied for have been like that. The parents do their own thing, the children and I do our thing. If our paths cross the children have major meltdowns because it's the only way they know how to relate to their parents and get what they want. If I'm lucky the parents ignore them completely and berate me later for the childrens behaviour which they caused or if I'm unlucky they decide to give into whatever demands the child is making and make my life ten times more difficult.

Blondeshavemorefun · 02/12/2010 11:55

why would parents ignore their children at a fayre?

then again if they behave that badly .......

i would have joined the parents for a snow ball fight, and got a few well aimed balls in lol

PositiveOutlook · 02/12/2010 12:05

What awful parents. I have read previous posts from you about them and I feel so sorry for you and the children. Are you in a position to tell them honestly how you feel and risk them finding other childcare?

As parents we do need a break now and again and in the past I have previously dropped my dd at her childminder's which is across the road and then hid indoors until I know they have gone out because I knew that dd would go crazy to be with me if she knew I was in.

My (then)childminder never had a problem knowing that I hadn't gone to work and still dropped dd off and now as a childminder I have no problem when my mindee's mum drops him off so she can go shopping or whatever (really none of my business as I am being paid to provide a service. I would object to her playing in the street while her child watched and I would consider cancelling an outing if I knew she was going to be there. I am not confident in myself to think she might watch me (weird I know).

thebody · 02/12/2010 13:58

tell the pArents how upset this will make their children.. sounds like they need a good slap tbh.(parents of course).

I they still want to go to the fair then say thats fine but you and kids wont be going as its too upsetting for them.. honestly some parents are bloody strange..

Original poster

Saltire · 02/12/2010 15:21

well I am officially the only childminder still working here in our place, and one of only about 30 people still working in the entire place - it has shut down because of snow. .
DH, along with all the other mums and dads is out on the street having a snowman building competition with their children and included in the group are mindees parents and their older sister
Mindee 1 is at window wanting to go out and mindee 2 has finally fallen asleep

OP posts:

FreudianFoxSquishedByAPouffe · 02/12/2010 15:27

WTF?! that's so weird :(

I can understand cms being used sometimes even when parents aren't working so they can get time together but going to the same thing and ignoring their kids?

Bizarre and quite cruel really.

Original poster

Saltire · 02/12/2010 15:36

I am angry because there is so much more going on with this fmaily. One of my neighbours was there and she said that she's glad the boys have got me, because she thinks they are a bit neglected at home.

OP posts:

ichangedmymindagain · 03/12/2010 10:42

thanks nbee84 , didnt know how to do the link .

StarExpat · 03/12/2010 11:36

Can you bring the minds outside to play, too? If they run to their parents then that's fine - can you tell them about this? That mindees were sad that they couldn't join in with parents outside? And about the fayre?

ShanahansRevenge · 03/12/2010 11:42

Hoow utterly weird! Do they sit and eat sweets in front of him too? Or have a quick gam of hide and seek while he sits with you?

I would say something to them....like

"X finds it really hard if he sees you out playing without him."

Blondeshavemorefun · 03/12/2010 13:15

why didnt you go out in the snow with them?

Flip

1 2