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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

To homebirth or not to homebirth?

41 replies

comtessa · 12/05/2010 19:05

Dear all, am 29 years old and only 12 weeks PG but have had my booking-in appt and MW says that as no contraindications at this stage, she'd be more than happy for me to have home birth if I wanted one. This is my first baby so no worries about having little ones at home to look after, and husband wants to be very involved so seems a good idea in principle. Nearest hospital (QMC Nottingham) 10 minutes away - probably quicker by speeding ambulance! - if needed.

Very grateful for any advice/pros/cons etc...

Thank you in advance!

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piscesmoon · 12/05/2010 19:22

I think it is a very personal thing. I have always felt more relaxed being in hospital in case anything goes wrong-but then I have had very little to do with hospitals so I find them very interesting-but I dare say I am just odd!

mascarpone · 12/05/2010 19:27

I have 2 dds. First one I had in hospital - it was fine, birth ok although had a ventouse. But, I really didn't like the fact that my dh had to leave the hospital pretty much straight afterwards as visiting times were over. So, second time round I had a home water birth and to be honest, it was one of the best experiences of my life! I felt so much happier, confident and in control and as a result, labour was quicker and easier. I could have a shower in my own bathroom and then go to sleep in my own bed knowing my dh was downstairs.

2 things that might help:

having decided on a homebirth, you can always change your mind mid labour and go to hospital. Not possible the other way round!
if something were to go wrong and you were rushed in, you would be met by a team of people to help you. At my first birth, when they decided to use the ventouse, it took 45 mins to find someone who could come and do it!

EdgarAllenPoll · 12/05/2010 19:30

I loved my homebirths - so relaxing! nothing to do but give birth, in the comfort and privacy of your own hom.

homebirths are statistically safer if you have a low-risk pregnancy too, and women report less pain, and give birth faster...

Elasticwoman · 12/05/2010 20:11

One reason I decided against a homebirth was the birthing pool issue. My house wasn't suitable (pool has to go on ground floor), I would have had to pay for hiring the pool (which I might then end up not using for clinical reasons) and pool use was free and virtually guaranteed available at the local birthing unit.

Also I knew some one who had a home birth and she said the mws didn't clear up properly. It can make a lot of mess you know.

Another friend had a home birth and the mw turned up, without any Entonox (gas & air) 4 hours after she was called and the baby was born 15 minutes after that.

StarlightMcKenzie · 12/05/2010 20:15

This reply has been deleted

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thisisyesterday · 12/05/2010 20:23

i've had 2 and can't recommend them highly enough

at my first they'd brought 3 canisters of gas and air, so def longer than 20 mins worth! i didn't use it though as they never brought it in from the car (i was further along that they thought i'd be)

it's so relaxing and it's lovely to be able to use your own bathroom, and get back into your own bed and have tea and nice food made for you by your DH

Summerhols · 12/05/2010 20:27

I have booked in for HB but not completely decided about it yet. I spoke to my MW about it and she said that I can change my mind at any point I figure that this way a MW can come out see how far dilated I am and if I want to stay at home I can do or go to the hospital.

I would like to have a HB but also not too upset at the prospect of a hospital birth.

CrystalQueen · 12/05/2010 20:32

Lots of the 'only 20 minutes of gas and air' type rules vary a lot from trust to trust, so ask about the protocols in your area rather than relying on any info here!

I decided on a HB for my first (and only) because I didn't want my DH to have to leave after the baby arrived. In the end I had to transfer because of a long second stage but I still think the first stage was nice and relaxed because I was in my own place. I am the sort of person who clams up a bit when out of my comfort zone so being at home was much better than the hospital.

LilyBolero · 12/05/2010 20:33

I've had 1 hospital birth, 2 homebirths, and am planning another homebirth any day.

Questions you should ask yourself (especially as it's your first)...

How would you feel if you had to be transferred? Lots of people feel REALLY gutted at this, and I think it's only worth going for the homebirth option if you are philosophical about the possibilities of needing to be transferred.

How will you feel when the midwife leaves, leaving you at home with the new baby? I know support in hospital is sometimes not great, but at least you have the back up if you're worrying about feeding, or just need reassurance that the baby is ok.

Will your GP come out and do a new baby check? If not, you may have to take the baby into the hospital anyway for a check.

How are you with pain? Although it is more relaxed at home, you need to be realistic about it.

Good luck, whatever you decide!!

EdgarAllenPoll · 12/05/2010 20:34

all mess at my HBs was tidied up as they went - as soon as i was tucked up with my little baby you wouldn't have known anything had happened.

A birthing pool is not an essential though lots of people find them very useful (and i think tidying this up is a useful thing for your birthing partner to do whilst you are cuddling your newborn.)

I found walking a good way to cope with the pain but probably everyone will find their own way.

there were...two medium sized bottles of G&A (DH lugged it for the MW)

detoxdiva · 12/05/2010 20:50

I had dd in hosp and my ds at home and if we were having any more I would def go for the home birth again - the best thing I have ever done!

I can understand your concerns, esp with your first as I wanted the security of being in hospital 'just in case'. But as has been mentioned, statistically a low risk pg is just as safe birthing at home as in hospital. I do think state of mind plays a big part too - have a look at hypnobirthing as the relaxation techniques means I managed the contractions far far easier at home.

Don't let a worry about mess put you off - all you need is big plastic sheets covered up with old towels and blankets, plus some cushions and whatever else to lean on Also, have never heard the 20 min gas and air thing before - my mw arrived with 2 cannisters and I only got through half a one in 3 hours.

Do your research and read up about it to make an informed choice - if you go for it, good luck

CleanHankie · 12/05/2010 22:06

Agree with a lot of others here. If you are considering one then book in for a homebirth. It does not mean you have to have baby at home when it comes to it, but it is easier to decide to go into hospital than the other way round (ie hospital birth then opt for home birth). You have plenty of time to decide and as your pregnancy goes on, make your mind up then. I had DD1 in hospital, was open to the idea of homebirth but as DH wasn't I went with his decision. Figured if anything did go wrong it would be him having to deal with it all. Turned out to be a breeze (sorry) so DD2 was a homebirth. Managed without a birthing pool and as for mess, one shower curtain and 3/4 towels is all it took, and we have a cream carpet too!
Keep an open mind even if you go down the homebirth route. That way you won't be too disappointed if you have to be transferred.
Midwives love homebirths and are very enthusiastic as it's almost a novelty for them

FessaEst · 13/05/2010 10:00

I had a homebirth and it was fab!! My MWs were very pro-HB and our local area is v set up for it. I had as much G&A as I needed, she said she had loads more in the car. I had a birth pool and there was no other mess at all. Didn't take DH & my Mum long to empty pool, pick up towels etc. I had a lovely bath, got changed & we were all tucked up in bed with nice snacks within a couple of hours, with the house as if nothing had happened. Dh didn't have to go anywhere, DD wasn't exposed to infection and I am so pleased we were able to stay at home.

I read up loads - Ina May Gaskin, AIMs, MN, tand & Deliver. I also went to active birth classes which really helped with preparing to trust my bodyetc.

Only you can make the best decision for you!

notso · 13/05/2010 10:14

Am watching this with interest as I would like a homebirth this time, this will be my 3rd DC.
Just wondering, how long do the midwives stay with you after the birth?

lukewarmcupoftea · 13/05/2010 10:23

Just bear in mind - you can plan all you like, but it might not be what happens in the end! Have your preferred plan, and this site is good for research, but also think about plan B and C (and X, Y, Z...). That way you won't feel disappointed if things don't go to plan. Agree you should keep your options open, plan for a homebirth if you think its a possibility, then you can always change your mind at any time.

FWIW I've tried for a homebirth twice - first time ended being induced at 42 weeks in hospital with awful complications and we were both in hospital for 2 weeks. Second time went into labour at home (and labouring at home, especially in the early stages when could watch TV and potter, was soooo nice), but had to transfer to hospital in the end as the baby just wasn't budging, and born 20 mins later. Discharged ourselves within a couple of hours, so still got the going into my own bed with the baby experience - absolute bliss after the first time. Still had complications though (mostly caused by the 20 mins in hospital I have to say, but then I think I'm fairly unlucky in that respect!). So not a perfect birth either time, but I'm still a big fan of homebirths!

lukewarmcupoftea · 13/05/2010 10:28

notso - I had independent midwives second time round, so they stayed for hours and were round again every day for quite a while. You could look into a doula for post birth support if that's something you're worried about?

maria1665 · 13/05/2010 10:31

I've had two hospital deliveries and one at home. The one at home (actually a friend's house - long story) was just wonderful and by far the best of the three.

Find out what they can offer you at a home delivery. It differs from area to area. I had unlimited gas and air, and pethodine if I wanted it (I did!) I had a mid wife with me for the entirety of my labour (once the contractions were established) and a second midwife attended during stage 2 to look after the baby when it was born.

It was not straightforward - it was a back to back pregnancy (very painful) and had I been in hospital, I would have probably asked for an epidural (even though I hadn't had one before.) Plus, my placenta was slow in detaching so we were gearing up for a rush into hospital. But everything was fine. Better than fine - I felt truely cherished. They ran me a bath, and then handed me my baby to bath with me in the bath. Just wonderful. I could go on.

Hospital was okay, during the actual deliveries it was excellent. But I got sick of the endless stream of students lining up to give you an internal exam, and the care afterwards, was at times quite uncaring.

CleanHankie · 13/05/2010 10:36

notso - mine left after 2hrs. The midwife delivered the placenta, checked it was ok, cleared up and put me in a bath, then left. Not sure if this is the norm as the hospital were very busy and had double the amount of births they usually do in that period. Also had my sister in the house along with DH and it was the early hours of Christmas Day so maybe she didn't hang around as she knew we had presents and stockings to sort out for DD1 . Not that I'm complaining that she left quickly, she was lovely and very efficient and calming. Not sure what else I would have expected her to do tbh.

notso · 13/05/2010 10:37

Thanks lukewarmcupoftea Ds went blue about hour after hospital birth, he was whisked away for suction which was really scary, afterwards the midwife apologised for leaving us alone with him so soon. I am nervous about what would happen in that situation at home.

notso · 13/05/2010 10:40

CleanHankie I am due on 22nd of December so this one could well be Christmas day too, how did you find it?

janiemouse · 13/05/2010 10:40

You need to think carefully about what happens with postnatal care, not just the birth itself. Where I live, you only get three postnatal visits, even after a home birth - and this is something the midwives keep quiet about if you book a home birth. You are visited on the day after the birth (or the day after you leave hospital), after 5 days and after 10 days. In other areas you have visits at least once a day for the first few days.

I was unsure whether or not to have a home birth, and didn't decide what to do until 39 weeks! But I'm extremely glad I didn't have a home birth in the end because I just wouldn't have had enough help with the baby and breastfeeding.

Are you anywhere near Darley Birth Centre in Matlock? It's a good halfway point between hospital and home birth. I travelled there from Derby and it was well worth the trip. You can stay in there after the birth and you get loads of help - you're also quite likely to have your own room. I stopped three nights after the birth and felt so well cared for. I'm really not sure I'd have been able to breastfeed without all their help. And when ds woke up the first night and sounded like he was choking I was extremely glad I wasn't on my own at home, it was just mucous and apparently completely normal.

TaurielTest · 13/05/2010 12:20

If you haven't found it already, comtessa, the website www.homebirth.org.uk is really useful. I had DS in a birth centre, which was fab, and am hoping to have DC2 at home.

Notso, I believe midwives who attend homebirths are equipped to resuscitate in that sort of situation. Must have been scary for you.

LilyBolero · 13/05/2010 12:26

With dd the mw stayed about 20 mins, but popped in later. With ds2, she stayed about half an hour, and phoned in the evening.

detoxdiva · 13/05/2010 12:28

notso - my mw's stayed for about 2 hours after the birth. After I was stitched, I sat on the sofa bf ds, dh made me tea and toast and the mw's tidied up, cleared away the mess (which really was none at all, and I too have a cream carpet!) and did their paperwork! After the hideous experience of sitting around on the delivery suite and post-natal ward with dd, it was just blissful to be in my own home, have a shower, get dressed and relax. We also had no visitors on the first day which made for an even more relaxing time as a family

sallyJayGorce · 13/05/2010 12:33

HAd dd1 at hospital and DS and DD2 at home. The home births were fantastic - loved very minute - yes really! But they were low risk, straightforward births. Wish I'd had DD1 at home too but wasn't as confident so having the first one hospital wsa right for me. I was 5 mins from the hospital, as you are so you can always transfer quickly if necessary. I'd go for a home birth if all signs are normal. Lovely experience.

(DD2 was so quick we wouldn't have had time to get to the hospital - when I realised my need for the loo was actually her head crowning - so lucky all the stuff was there ready.)

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