To homebirth or not to homebirth?

[comtessa]

Dear all, am 29 years old and only 12 weeks PG but have had my booking-in appt and MW says that as no contraindications at this stage, she'd be more than happy for me to have home birth if I wanted one. This is my first baby so no worries about having little ones at home to look after, and husband wants to be very involved so seems a good idea in principle. Nearest hospital (QMC Nottingham) 10 minutes away - probably quicker by speeding ambulance! - if needed.

Very grateful for any advice/pros/cons etc...

Thank you in advance!

xx

My community midwives used my house for their handover and shift change!! So, I had the 2 who were there for delivery, plus a student who turned up just too late in an effort to see a HB, plus the one just coming on duty. The student and new MW stayed for a least a hour after the others had left, and I had already had stitches, DD weighed/measured etc - so, quite a long time I guess.

I had great after care too, GP and MW x2 on the first day after she was born and daily then bi-daily visits for a good week or so. I got really good help when struggling with latching on too. I felt like once they were in my house they were less pressured to rush off before I was happy, no buzzers form other people!

Midwives stayed for a couple of hours after the birth. Whilst I was in the bath, they'd tidies the room - it was spotless. They'd even warmed my nightie and knickers on the radiator. And for the first time, despite having two older children, my husband got to spend the first night with me and our new baby. I've got tears welling up, just thinking about it.

notso - Be very very organised! My due date was 23rd dec, I was all shopped by end of november but refused to wrap pressies until 12th dec and the decorations were up. Trying to bend over large parcels to sellotape them with a bump was difficult! I had DD1's stocking all ready to go from mid dec incase I ended up in hospital and she was staying over with someone else. In the end it was fab, she didn't wake till the morning and even then ran past the moses basket twice before us drawing attention to the fact there was a baby in there. Father Christmas having been was far more exciting. Some people have pointed out that hopefully she won't expect him to bring another baby this year . We had planned to be just us at home on Christmas day no matter what happened. Pah! We had 7 visitors by midday and not one of them offered to cook dinner for us or invited us to theirs. I survived on cheese and biscuits, chocs and salt & vinegar crunchy sticks as neither I nor DH had the energy to cook. Luckily DD1 didn't care what happened she just had a pile of presents to work thru.
Downsides are that we had to go into hospital anyway on Boxing Day to get DD2 checked by the paediatrician. In our area it's usually done by the GP for homebirths but as they were shut for the next couple of days and the check has to be done by Day 5, a trip to the hospital was in order. Also registering her birth took time as again they were shut for a while. Not sure if anyone else had this problem too, but having a homebirth means paperwork takes an age to reach people. Both our HV and the Register Office had difficult locating us on the system because of this. Oh and have a bet on a Christmas day birth - we regretted we didn't .

As our trust are into kicking you out 3-6hrs after birth and you having to pretty much take all your own stuff in with you, then homebirth seemed a lot less hassle to us!!! Plus the team of midwives I'm under seem to fight over the homebirths!!!

I've had lots of "what if" reactions from my M-I-L - but really, labour is generally, for most women quite a gradual process they can anticipate problems and if you have to transfer mid labour, procedure is that you get transferred in an ambulance with "blues and twos" and they're waiting for you at the door; so in some respects, you're going to be seen and assessed faster than someone on the delivery suite proper!

Don't get discouraged with the statistic about the number of home births that do transfer to hospital. This figure is "booked" homebirths and they don't separate out the mid-labour transfers from say those who end up in hospital before their due date, or have to go in to be induced or for things like high blood pressure. The most common reason for homebirthers to go in (so I gather) is if it seems to be taking too long.

For me, the pro's far outweighed the con's and I've read a lot of statistics. DH is happier with the whole being on his own turf rather than being confined to a delivery room. We're guaranteed access to the birth pool at home. Less likely to need interventions - even based on a like for like basis. Less people running in and out. Hubby gets to stay afterwards if it's late.

So fingers crossed for us as first time home /water birthers.

Thanks to everyone who has answered my post.

CleanHankie, thanks so much for sharing your experience,I actually feel like I want to have the baby on Christmas Day now. You have made me think about a lot of things I hadn't even considered.

comtessa sorry if I've taken over your thread a bit. Haven't seen you on the antenatal thread for a bit, how are you?

Both my babies were born at home, I had NHS community midwives both times and they were great for birth, but would agree that post-natal support was a bit lacking (even more so second time but apparently you're supposed to know what you're doing).

With DS (first baby) we ended up being hospitalised when he was 5 days old as he was jaundiced and losing weight, and feeding was not going well, but I also know someone who had a pretty much identical experience after a hospital birth (discharged after one night).

DD was v nearly a Christmas baby notso, I was due on 21 Dec and she arrived just before 6am on 23 Dec, DS slept through the whole thing. I hazily remember that Christmas Day as a very happy one Luckily my mum was around to cook a roast...

It is a very personal thing. They keep a very close eye on you at home anyway, so they know what's going on - if the baby's HR drops even the slightest, they will get you in hosp anyway. They carry all the resusc stuff. and you can only have G&A, so the baby should come out very alert.

I would say, research everything first, and do what will make you feel the most comfortable. If you are confident and really want it, then go for a homebirth.

DS1 was hospital, DS2 was home, and from personal experience, I would say home every time, but its not up to us, its up to you.

Go with what what you feel.

Can heartily recommend it - had 2 hospital inductions and 6 weeks ago today (feels like yesterday still!) had DS2 at home. Lovely experience.

starlight you have been my chum Carrie's guru for a while on PN so I hate to disagree with you but MWs had 4 bottles of entonox between them. I used 2 over a two hour period and I was sucking on it like it was the only oxgen I'd ever breathe again.

Also had a HB booked with 2nd child ( couldn't do it as v overdue) but had meptid prescribed for me by local GP which I picked up from Pharmacy and had in the house just in case. That takes a bit of planning and wangling though.

Go to Asda. Buy LOTS of very cheap shower curtains and buckets (£4 and 75p respectively) hey presto no need for lengthy clearups. just chuck everything away. (so my Mum told me as she and the MW did the clearing up!)

Do check that at least one of the midwives has her suture kit with her when she first arrives though!

I went to B and Q and bought my plastic sheeting.

The male assistant, when asked where I could find one, said slightly patronisingly 'There are all different types of plastic sheeting. What exactly do you need it for.'

'Its for my homebirth.' The memory of the expression on his face is one I treasure to this very day.

Wow, thank you all for the replies. I admit that I'm under a certain amount of pressure from my MIL to not have a homebirth, but then her first child died soon after birth (hospital birth) but at least the baby had immediate care when the Drs realised something was wrong. I'm based in Nottingham, so the Matlock one could be an option. I like the idea of a birthing centre, kind of home from home. I am fortunate in that I was birth partner at my local hospital for a friend, so I've seen a little of what goes on, but of course it's completely different when it's your own pregnancy and birth I'm sure!

Thank you all so much, I'm really encouraged to do further research now. I like the idea of booking in for home and then being able to change my mind if need be. Also, my MIL raised the issue of "what if the baby's jaundiced and needs to go under special lamps ASAP". Um, any thoughts? (No idea why it would be jaundiced or not, but that was her question!)

Thank you all for your time, I really appreciate it.

xx

Erm, if the baby is jaundiced and needs treatment (often no particular treatment is needed apart from frequent BF and sunlight), then they can go into hospital for treatment? No more delay in treatment going from home than a ward (give or take a few minutes which are not crucial in a jaundice case).

DD1 was jaundiced and not feeding, the hospital midwives didn't even notice, and didn't pay any attention to me telling them she wasn't feeding properly (and because she was my 1st, I didn't have the confidence in my own judgement that I should have had) - it was the matron (modern equivalent anyway) who walked past the next morning and said 'that baby looks yellow to me'. Cue lots of sheepish midwives, and baby carted off to NICU (to be honest, there was lots more wrong with her as well that they hadn't picked up on, in fact, the whole experience was pretty awful). DD2 was my 'almost' home birth, we were back at home within hours of birth at the hospital and my (independent) midwife picked up on her yellow skin, but it was mild and she was alert (ish, for a newborn) and feeding voraciously, so we just kept an eye on her for a few days and it was fine, no treatment needed.

If you do plan for a homebirth, you will have to learn to fend off all sorts of 'but, what if..' questions from well meaning onlookers. That's where the research comes in, or a well rehearsed but polite 'its my choice, I've done the research, its just as safe, feck off' etc etc. To be fair, lots of people will be very supportive as well - its just that its an unusual choice (unfortunately), so its one that will attract lots of positive/negative comments. Its good practice for having every tiny parental choice you make scrutinised and judged for the rest of their childhood!

Comtessa - I uderstand your MIL's concerns, but at the end of the day you'll decide what's best for you and your baby. Doing your research will help. My dh was a little concerned when I first raised the idea, for the same reasons really, i.e. 'what if.....'. At the end of the day you won't go with a HB if there's any reason why you should not birth at home, and I think there's a lot to be said for a more relaxed and comfortable environment having an effect on the way labour progresses (although clearly there will always be cases where no matter what labour doesn't go as planned)

Finally, in my experience, whilst the mw's generally do less intervention with a hb, they are more in tune and attentive to how you're labour is going because you'll have at least 1, or in my case 1 + a student giving you their undivided attention which you would not be guaranteed in a hospital, and therefore will step in earlier than in a hospital if they see anything that concerns them.

Ohhh.. the M-I-L's "What if"s. Agggghhhh!!!.. I've had those too. And general comments like "Homebirth..oooo...scary" - Er, no. Not scary. Actually a whole lot less scary. I have to remind myself that she gave birth to DH when informed consent and patient choice were alien ideas; back labours, interventions and forceps were part of the everyday make up of "normal" labour. Thank goodness for the recent enlightenment and rediscovery of the more natural process. But.... if M-I-L dares to suggest it's scary again, I will not speak to her until well after I've delivered.

Comtessa my DD was a bit jaundiced after we got discharged from the hospital which was picked up on by the community midwife the next day. She took some blood for a test and got back to us ASAP. It wasn't bad enough to require treatment in her case, but it would have been easy enough to go back to the hospital. It's not one of those things that has to be done within 30 seconds of the diagnosis.

Thank you all. You're right of course, I just have to do my homework and find out what my preference is. I love my MIL but do find it annoying that she seems to think I would put my baby and possibly myself at risk by choosing a HB. Sigh. Onwards with the research...

Thanks again, I really appreciate all your comments. xxx