Petrified of birthing a big baby

[McBuckers]

I'm due tomorrow - 9 April and am terrified of the birth because the baby is big.

We've had a lot of scares in this pregnancy which has resulted in having 4 weekly scans. Fortunately all the scares - Downs, heart problem, very small head - turned out okay, which we are eternally grateful for.

From 32 weeks the scans were showing the baby had an abdominal circumference on the 95th centile and it's stayed on that centile since then.

Just over two weeks ago, on 24th March the scan estimated the baby's weight at 7 and a half lbs. The consultant said that it was below the induction threshold. But I read that the scans can be 10-15% out on the weight estimate so the baby could have been up to 8 and a half lbs.

At the time this didn't really bother me as my daughter was born a week early at 6lbs 14oz and I stupidly thought this one would be early too.

So far she hasn't arrived and I'm not due to see the consultant again until the middle of next week, 3 weeks after my last scan.

On the basis of babies putting on half a pound a week in the last few weeks, this means it could be 10lbs by next week's appointment.

I am petrified of birthing a baby this big and keep bursting into tears at the mere mention of the baby.

Has anyone delivered a baby of this size without tears, forceps etc?

Can I request a CS for a big baby? I've read so many horrid threads on MN about forceps, tearing and the after effects of these that I'm terrified.

I don't know what to do and I fear that the normal (non instrumental) vaginal delivery I was hoping for is not going to be possible.

hi, my first was 9lb 1 at 40 weeks. I was induced for reasons not linked to the baby's size. i had an epidural more due to the prostin pains from the induction gel than anything else and also i panicked abit with it being my first.
My second was 8lb 13 at 38 weeks. i was induced due to SPD and had tablets for the induction instead of gel so got no prostin pains. because this was my 2nd labour i was much more relaxed and didnt even scream or shout when i was pushing, and i didnt tear or anything.

So basically what im trying to say is try not to worry and try to stay as relaxed as possible during the birth. i definately think that was the cause for my problems during my first labour and why it was so different for my second

HTH

yes, my ds2 was 10lb3. It was absolutely fine - no tears, forceps or anything. Very fast.

he was my 5 though, so there wasn't much to hold him in

I would also say, it is very likely that the baby isn't as big as the doctor estimates - I have known a few people being terrified like you, and then going on to give birth to an average sized baby.

I had a nearly 10 pounder with my first and did end up with forceps I'm afraid, BUT I would say that as this is not your first you stand a much better chance of being ok.

Honey I totally sympathise with you! I'm going to be totally honest with you - my last DD was 10lb and it was not nice with only gas and air.. . however I did not tear at all and it honestly felt no more horrible than my previous births (personally I hought they were all horrible!!) I am 5 foot 5 and normally weigh 9 stone - if I can do it, so can you and you will hun!!
It will be fine, just think positively - that's what I'm trying to do, even though as D-Day approaches my nerves are going too!
I send all my best wishes to you xx

My first was 9lb 3 oz and was a complete shock to me and the midwife as I'm tiny!! He seemed huge when they put him on my stomach and didn't fit into any of the baby clothes I had brought with me to hospital.

It was a difficult birth partly because it was my first and I was scared and in the end he came out very quickly by ventouse. He does have a slightly strange shaped head but nothing to worry about.

I had a 2nd degree tear which felt horrid for a while but is now absolutely fine. Was stitched really well I think.

I really don't think they can predict size with much accuracy - I know a lot of Mums who were shocked one way or the other.

Don't worry

It's not the WEIGHT but the head size so unless they said "OMG HE IS WEARING A COWBOY HAT" then it isn't going to make a lot of difference

Have you read any Sheila Kitzinger or Ina May Gaskin? They might help your confidence in your body a bit, have a look on Ebay for a cheap book.

My first was 7lb 6oz, my 2nd was 10lb 6oz, I was induced (again) and it was fine just 1 pessary, no rips, ventous, I did scream for an epidural but I did the 1st time too.

I had 1 stitch and that was a nick that was caused the 1st time around but they decided to stitch it this time and it was much better - no stinging when I went for a wee.

A small head but large tummy sounds much better to deliver than a large head and small tummy tbh..........

They kept telling me my baby wasn't big and I didn't have any clothes that fit her in the hospital she was unbelievable tall.

dd was 10lb 11oz - no forceps, little tear that I wasn't aware of; had 4 stitches, but was just fine. She was great; big gorgeous cuddly thing - filled the hospital cot end to end! They predicted that ds would be big, and everyone was surprised when he came flying out at a relatively teeny 9lb 2oz.

My consultant is the u/s sspecialist at our hospital, and doesn't like to predict weights based on u/s. He reckons that it's good at predicting the weights of average babies, but rubbish at very big or very small.

I was an 11 lb baby (and my mum was tiny) - she had a minor tear.

I tore with dd1 and 2 (3rd and 2nd degree tears), and they were both 7 1/2 lbs, with 50th centile heads, it was more about position than size in my case.

For me, although the degree of the tears sounds bad, I did recover well and all the stitching was fine - they weren't as horrific as they sound, honest.

Good luck with your birth. Let us know how you get on.

My first was tiny - 2.5 kilos (just over 5lbs), my second was a whopper - 4.25 kilos (about 9lbs). Both births were equally straightforward. As someone else has already pointed out, it's not the weight that matters it's the circumference of the head - everything else is squashy iyswim.

My first DD shot out in one push but was a good size. 2nd DD was very late, induced and had lost weight over the last two weeks so that she was all wrinkly loose skin when she was born. I could not seem to get a grip on her IYSWIM she would go down with a push and then slip back up again. That went on for hours and it took a superhuman long long continuous push to eventually force her out. Give me a big baby any day!

I am sorry you are so worried. I remember suddenly being very irrationally scared towards the end of my second pregnancy, thinking that because I had an easy birth with No.1 Fate would deal me a hard time with no. 2. However, I was not expecting to give birth to a Yo-Yo!

My first was 7lb10oz and was a ventouse delivery I was cut so that I didn't tear.

My second was an unexpected 9lb1oz and was a lovely (if you can call it that!) labour and delivery. I only had gas and air, and the midwife said if I hadn't have been cut previously I probably wouldn't have torn. Not sure if this is a good thing though .

Just don't worry!

DS was just about 10lbs, I had him at home in 2.5hrs with no more than 5 puffs of G&A and a water birth I lost minimal amount of blood and had a couple of stitches which they debated doing at all

My DSis babies were little and she had many more problems with labour and birth than I did. MW said sometimes big babies can be easier to birth due to the affects of gravity etc.

My story: DD1 was 6lbs 3ozs came out with her hand by her ear, tore me to shreds.

I was terrified of tearing again, DD2 was 9lbs 3ozs head on the 95th centile, I didn't even have a graze. Much better and easier birth.

I have heard of so many women being scared and told they were having 10lb whoppers and out pops a 7lb baby.

DC3 was 10lb 4oz and a normal delivery with just gas and air, no tearing and no harder to deliver than DC2 who was 7lb 13oz, despite being on the 100th percentile for head size.

I did deliver in water so maybe that helped. Good Luck..

Please please don't worry about 'big babies'.

DD1 was predicted by scan (2 days before birth) to be 10lb+. I was terrified ! I had a vaginal birth with G&A and Pethadine and she was 8lb8. No probs.

DD2 was 9lb10. Had a lovely waterbirth with G&A and very slight graze (must have a stretchy foo-foo!)

DS1 was 9lb1 and no graze / tear whatsoever. One week before I had a scan 'cos he looked very big and they reckoned he would be 11lbs.

What I'm trying to say in a cack-handed way is

1. Scans are notoriously unreliable to predict sizes
2. Actually their weight isn't the issue. It's the head circumference and their position that make a difference

HtH

I managed to give birth to a 9lb 6oz baby whose shoulders got stuck - and I got away with just a small tear that I barely noticed, and that healed in no time.

Hi, I know exactly what you are feeling. Sorry if there's TMI here or a little upsetting, I just want to tell you number 2 does not have to be the same.
My DD was 10lb10oz, 17 days late, I was induced with prostin and got stuck. I had an epidural after 7 hours, then started to push. She got stuck, she had shoulder dystocia, the alarms went off etc, consultant came rushing in and got the ventouse out, so she was delivered that way. Horrendous pain, the epidural had stopped working and resulted in pretty bad PND.

And when I found I was pregnant with DS I spoke to consultant at 20 weeks about my concerns about another big baby he waved them away saying he would do another scan at 34 weeks. Scan showed him as being of average size (like DD was!!) and I'm afraid to say I got very cross with trainee consultant, upset and angry that I wasn't being taken seriously, DH was trying to calm me down but I'm afraid I was past it!! Consultant came in, measured me, pronounced a CS the best way forward, to my intense relief!

CS booked for day before DS's due date, he arrived at 9lb 3oz, imagine what he would have been if I'd gone overdue with him!!?

Anyway, I really hope I haven't put you off or scared you at all, but basically i'd say go for a CS, you have good, valid reasons. Just make sure you have support at home for 2 weeks when you get out of hospital.

Try not to worry - it really is more a case of position. DS1 was back to back and 9 pounds (I am 5 foot 3 and under 8 stone with sparrow like bones!!!).....still got him out with ventous and only 2nd degree tear. DS2 bigger, but good position so practically slid out.....DD1, due next week will be a CS, but due to placental issues as opposed to size, though looking like another whopper. Not sure why I produce such big babies, but at least they feed well when they are out! Good luck, and try not to worry!

Thank you so much for your posts, I'm feeling a bit more confident now, especially as some of you mentioned the head size being more important than the estimated weight.

The baby's head circumference has stayed on the 5th centile throughout - which is why we were having so many scans as there was a fear it could drop further and develop into microcephaly.

If I'd not had so many scans I'd probably be blissfully unaware of my babys size...

My baby was 10lb 4oz. I did have to have forceps but that was largely because I had been in labour for 30 hours and was too knackered to push!

I know there are some scary stories around about forceps deliveries, but in my experience someone describing one sounds a lot worse and more painful than actually experiencing it iyswim. It's a very strange experience having a baby pulled out of you, the way I would describe it is like squeezing a big yellow spot, but x1000. Painful while you're squeezing it, but relief and emptiness (in a good way) after.

What I'm trying to say is please don't be scared if you do need to have forceps, but there's no reason you should have to. I have a friend who has had two 10lb babies with just gas and air, and virtually no tearing.

Good luck!

Every person I know who's been told they have a whopper in there even with scans, you'll need a csection, etc etc has an 7lb or there about baby.
Try not to worry.

I had a tear (after ventouse) with my first (10lb 7) but it healed ok and not even a graze with my second (9lb 15) - both had head circs above the 98th centile and I was terrified about the second one but it was much easier in the end.

I had 3 scans showing DS was going to be huge (20, 28 and 34 wks). Every measurement was at least 95th percentile and head and abdominal circumference were consistently off the scale. 34 wk scan estimated he was already 7 1/2 lb. I was really petrified, in tears for much of the 2nd half of my pregnancy (I hadn't had the easiest birth with DD), had to force myself to eat etc. DS born at 40+3 weighing a whopping ... 7lb 13oz with a head exactly on the 50th percentile...