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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Petrified of birthing a big baby

39 replies

McBuckers · 08/04/2010 19:29

I'm due tomorrow - 9 April and am terrified of the birth because the baby is big.

We've had a lot of scares in this pregnancy which has resulted in having 4 weekly scans. Fortunately all the scares - Downs, heart problem, very small head - turned out okay, which we are eternally grateful for.

From 32 weeks the scans were showing the baby had an abdominal circumference on the 95th centile and it's stayed on that centile since then.

Just over two weeks ago, on 24th March the scan estimated the baby's weight at 7 and a half lbs. The consultant said that it was below the induction threshold. But I read that the scans can be 10-15% out on the weight estimate so the baby could have been up to 8 and a half lbs.

At the time this didn't really bother me as my daughter was born a week early at 6lbs 14oz and I stupidly thought this one would be early too.

So far she hasn't arrived and I'm not due to see the consultant again until the middle of next week, 3 weeks after my last scan.

On the basis of babies putting on half a pound a week in the last few weeks, this means it could be 10lbs by next week's appointment.

I am petrified of birthing a baby this big and keep bursting into tears at the mere mention of the baby.

Has anyone delivered a baby of this size without tears, forceps etc?

Can I request a CS for a big baby? I've read so many horrid threads on MN about forceps, tearing and the after effects of these that I'm terrified.

I don't know what to do and I fear that the normal (non instrumental) vaginal delivery I was hoping for is not going to be possible.

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notcitrus · 08/04/2010 21:51

Best advice I was given was to put in your birth plan you'd like to avoid cutting/stitches but if necessary please to have it done by an expert!

I ended up with both but by the next day docs were complementing me on the stiches and was recovered very quickly.

Pollyanna · 08/04/2010 22:33

i agree that reading Ina May Gaskin - I actually read some of it while I was in labour with ds2 and it really helped!

(I also did it with just gas and air - no stitches, but mentioned to the mw that this was what I was most concerned about and she really helped me when pushing etc to avoid tearing)

SpawnChorus · 08/04/2010 22:44

Please try not to worry about it! Some people say that a bigger baby can be easier to birth. My DC1 (8lb 9oz) was far harder to deliver than DC2 (10lb 9oz) or DC3 (11lb 8oz). And their heads were huge too.

I think sometimes the extra weight means that gravity does some of the work in getting them out, iyswim.

Also, scans are notoriously inaccurate, so your baby may not even be that big (and on the flip side, no one spotted that my babies would be ginormahoosive, which I'm bloody glad about. I think I'd have tensed up a little at the prospect of a 11+ pounder).

mumtotwoboys · 09/04/2010 08:51

My 3 yo son was 9lb5 he came out after 20 mins of pushing, I did tear a little bit so had a couple of stiches.
He took to the breast beautifully (hungry boy!) and we went home next morning
He's still a big boy now, he's gorgeous
Never fat, just tall and broad with a great big head, lol

seeker · 09/04/2010 09:00

Unless you are very tiny, I really don't think the size of the baby makes much difference to the birth - some come easily, some don't. I have had two whoppers - both with only gas and air and yes I did tear, but not badly and I recovered very quickly. My sil had a horrendous birth with forceps and all the rest and her little boy was only 7lbs.

My midwife said that big babies are actually easier to deliver because once they are head down and on their way gravity helps!

Keep an open mind and remember you have delivered a baby before so your body knows what to do.

breastfeedingquestion · 09/04/2010 11:17

It's funny, cos on MN everyone says that the size of the baby makes no difference, but every m/w obstetrician I've met seems to think it does (altho yours obv doesn't seeker!)

notso · 09/04/2010 11:37

My DS was 9lb 5oz and was born with his hand up near his ear.
I used gas and air for the contractions but nothing for the pushing stage, I refused an episotomy and didn't tear or graze.
I did lose a lot of blood afterwards which was more of a shock than a big ds, but my iron levels were good thanks to a broccoli craving.

sonsmum · 09/04/2010 11:40

dc1 was 7lb 3....long but straightforward labour, 2nd degree tear.
Thought dc2 would be early and also rcekoned it would be 7lb ish....
2nd labour was fantastic, fairly quick, could feel everything and was in control, 2mins of pushing only and no tearing. dc2 was 8lb 2, which seems quite big to me!
You are doing this for the 2nd time....your body will adapt and stretch more.....you can do it. I really wish you lots of luck, but don't worry too much about the size of the baby....it may be smaller than you think. Growth scans are not always right.
For Dc1 they thought he would be small and i was packed off for a growth scan...but 7lb 3 is perfectly respectable! Good luck my dear...

glastochick · 12/04/2010 14:12

I'm told I'm carrying a big baby too, and this is my first. I'm dealing with it by kind of burying my head in the sand. I'm telling myself that what will be will be, and that my body won't have made a baby that is too big for me to birth.

We're going for a home water birth which I hope will help me. I've read Ina May and we're going to try hypnobirthing. I've decided that the less I think about it, the better, as if I worry then I'm just going to get scared on the day and being scared is the last thing I want to happen, because I'm sure this will lead to complications.

You might find the stories on here reassuring too: www.bigbaby.org.uk

MathsMadMummy · 12/04/2010 14:23

DS was 11lb 14oz, at 11 days late. I was induced, and although obviously painful, the actual birth bit was pretty easier - much easier than with my first, DD, who was 8lb 4oz. Didn't tear either time. My point is, please don't worry!

I was like a local celebrity for a while, word got around about "the woman who had the monster baby" - but apparently it's easier to have a bigger baby than a tiny one, because of the extra weight making it quicker. DS did have jaundice because of the speedy delivery, but nothing too bad.

greenbeanie · 12/04/2010 18:33

Just wanted to reassure you. My first was born weighing 9lb15 after extra scans and consultants saying that I would not be able to deliver naturally. I had tests for diabetes but all were negative and in the end I decided to trust that my body would make a baby the right size for me.

The labour was difficult as first labours often are, ending in an epidural as the baby was lying back to back. My second baby was 10lb7, he was in a good position and the whole labour lasted 2.5hours, second stage just 2 minutes.

Try to trust yourself and the baby that you have made. The position of the baby is far more important in terms of outcome than the size. I hope it goes well for you and remember that scans are inaccurate for bigger babies and they can mean that the baby is smaller as well as bigger.

MathsMadMummy · 12/04/2010 19:04

greenbeanie, I had suspected gestational diabetes too but the test was negative. I've often wondered why some people are told they need a CS for a big baby (in the absence of cephalo-pelvic disproportion obviously) - it was never even mentioned to me. maybe because I'd already given birth once, or maybe it's just different hospitals = different policy?! I know a few people who've been forced into CS because of a big baby and they were really upset about it

Iceaddict · 12/04/2010 19:54

my first baby weighed 7lb 8oz was in labour about 30hrs had loads of stitches it was a horrible experience and a lot of pain after, I have just given birth to my second baby 6 days ago 8lb 14oz i know is not massive but over 1lb bigger was in labour 2.5hrs no pain relief no stitches all in all perfect birth. prob doesnt matter about weight its what your body was made to do after all. good luck!

McBuckers · 15/04/2010 21:31

Hi everyone

Thank you so much for your wonderful posts they really gave me so much confidence.

I gave birth to DD2 on Tuesday morning and it was fantastic. She was only 8lbs 3oz - so much for the huge baby I was told about at the scan!

The anaethetist was too busy to give me an epidural so I did the whole thing on gas and air which I never thought I'd be able to do as I'm usually such a wimp.

Thanks again,

McB
x

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