Choosing a c section after a difficult birth wwyd?

[girlsyearapart]

Hi everyone

My friend is nearly 12 weeks pg with dc2.

Her first dc is 2.2.

The birth was difficult, induced way too late so placenta disintegrating, failed ventouse, forceps delivery and lots of stitches.

She wants to have a c section this time but I can't help thinking that this isn't the easy option she reckons it will be?

I can totally understand why she wants one but aren't c sections hard to recover from?

Her dd is a v lively girl and also hates to let her Mum cuddle any other children. If she has a cs won't it be hard to pick up a nearly 3 yo whose nose will probably be a bit out of joint with the new arrival.

Just want to make sure she has all the facts so any advice?

Have never had a c section myself so my perception of the recovery could be completely wrong. Although from what I have heard I would avoid unless totally necessary.

Hi girlsayear - I had a hideous labour, waters apparently broke on the Thursday night, by Sunday am no contractions so the induced, too much too quickly a d after 12 hours it turns out my waters were not broken, just hindwater leakage and nobody had worked it out/checked. Baby distressed, I was super distressed. They ruptured membranes and sentosin was so high I was having massive contractions evert 1.5 mins. Had 2 epidurals, neither of which worked. Another 12 hours and I was only 1.5cms so they decided to do an 'emergency' section. Another 4 hours later they sectioned me and it was dreadful.

The spinal block made me shake violently, dd was resuscitated (maybe all section babies have this on their notes)? Then the trouble started. They worked for an hour to stop the bleeding. Went back to the ward and after an hour or so could not stay awake and it turned out I was bleeding out and had pph. Lost 4 units, went back to surgery, had blood transfusion and woke up in recovery with the crash trolly team hovering over me.

If I ever had the chance to have another I would go vbac. I was totally medically mismanaged and the surgeries put me totally out of control. I recovered quiet quickly from my section although not being able to drive for 5 weeks was a pain but it was the after effects of bodged surgery that i struggled with. My blood count was less than a cancer victim and I had half the clotting capabilites of a regular person.

A friend had a planned section at the same place and they nicked her bowel and bladder. She ended up with a massive blood blot that she will be on medication fir for all her life the docs think.

So sorry to ramble, have not really written that down before and found it most cathatic!

Would I do a planned section? Nooooooo!!!!

Sorry for spellings! iPhone keyboard v small. Obviously a blood clot not a blood blot!!

good morning bbf.

With dd1 I ended up having ventouse, episiotomy and epidural didn't work properly then with dd2 quick birth followed by retained placenta removed in theatre then a blood transfusion so I know how you feel!

I really think my friend is imagining a section as the easy way out as she is scared but- in general- 2nd births are easier than first. Isn't a c section major surgery really?

She'll be inhospital away from her dd1 and then won't be able to pick her dd up.

Anything I can say to change her mind?? Have tried a;ready but don't think I'll be able to

justabout- X posted with you.

I don't want to pressurise at all just want to see that she realises that it's not the easy option she's imagining.

Wanted to hear from people like you who have had cs as I've never had one.

For example- one of her reasons for a section is ' able to have sex again straight away'

so you can pick up a toddler after a cs then?

I'm genuinely asking as pretty much the only things I've heard about sections is 4-5 days in hospital, no driving for 6 weeks and no lifting.

Our eldest dds are the same age, her dd is very clingy always wants to be picked up especially when her mum is holding another child.

This is the main part about the c section that I was questioning for her. That said maybe in 6 months time she'll be different.

Would you have chosen a cs if you did have the choice?

And yes as per your previous post I really am well intentioned! I'm not going to be bending her ear for the next 6 months she's got enough on her plate already. I really just wanted to make sure she has the facts she needs and wanted to see if the things I thought about sections were right or not.

She isn't a single parent but her DH won't be able to have proper paternity leave as he's self employed they won't be able to afford it.

My cousin had a terrible birth with her DD, the only way she cold consider having another lo was to know it was going to be a cs.

Its great that you are so concerned and it is a big deal, but mentally some woman can't face the thought of another birth.

The encouraging independence thing is not going to happen.. It has been pointed out to her that she needs to try not to give in to her daughter - who will be playing perfectly happily until she sees her Mum pick up someone else- as it will be more difficult for her dd to cope with a new sibling but although she agrees she hasn't done anything yet. Feeling too sick to bother I think!

I didn't mean to undermine your c sections by asking which you would've preferred. Obv if you have to medically then that's that.

My friend doesn't have to have one medically it is more because of the fear due to her bad time before. Which of course is not to be underestimated.

Agree that you should not try to influence her. You've not seen her notes, you are not privy to all details. After bad tearing it might be advisable.

i had a simalar birth to your friend. my ds is now 18mnths and i have only just recovered from the trauma. the impact it has on your mental health is unthinkable so i think your friend is right in choosing csection. you would of had to walk in her shoes to understand what she probably went through and if you did you would support her in her plans.

I sympathise with your friend. I have had a ventouse with episiotomy and a load of stitches. Whilst you are mobile and able to leave hospital quite quickly, the pain and discomfort is horrendous. Then 2nd time round had an emergency c/section. Recovery from the c/s was difficult for the first week or two, but its ok if you can get a bit of help at home. After about 2 weeks, I could lift things and carry on as normal. Overall recovery took about 10 months for each type of delivery, in terms of having complete health back and no pain. This time I am asking for an elective c/s.

thanks rene you're exactly the sort of person who I was hoping would answer.

I also had ventouse and episiotomy with dd1. (eyes firmly shut throughout!)

Second time birth was easier (afterwards was the mrop and blood transfusion)

You sound like my friend who loves to lecture me about what sort of birth I should have.

If you want to support her, then support her. Don't try to make her do what you think is best.

It's only your opinion, it's not the law.

The hospital will advise her of the risks.

That's if they are prepared to give her a c-section, which they may well not. I had a similar birth to her and I'm preparing myself for the fact that the hospital probably won't let me have a section this time.

Cheers for that ghouls

I'm not trying to lecture her I'm asking whether my perception of a c section is correct.

Justabout has told me some of it wasn't.

I don't think she is thinking it through so I'm giving her some info is all.

I didn't exactly have the most straightforward birth either time myself.

IMO a c section is NOT an easy option and nobody will be able to change my mind about thst.

She has asked me what do I think? well I think she needs to do her research properly and if I were her (which I'm clearly not) then I would try to avoid a cs at all costs.

But you're not her, so what you'd do if you were her isn't relevant.

Perhaps she feels that the recovery will be worth it if she doesn't have to spend the next 6 months tearing herself apart over going through the same thing again.