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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Daft birth experience prediction tool

51 replies

GentlyDoesIt · 04/08/2009 18:57

Hey everyone, look at this load of old toss virtual clairvoyant who specialises in birth predictions!

It seems to be tongue-in-cheek and is free and anonymous. I've tried a few permutations and all the predictions look quite friendly, so I think someone has designed it with antenatal nerves in mind.

Here's the prediction made for me:

"The day you deliver, outside will be sunny. Your baby will arrive in the middle of the night. After a labor lasting approximately 4 hours, your child, a boy, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 6 pounds, 9 ounces, and will be 21 -1/2 inches long. This child will have dark amber eyes and curly auburn hair."

So that's all sorted, then

OP posts:

Bettymum · 05/08/2009 15:52

"The day you deliver, outside will be fair. Your baby will arrive in the early evening. After a labor lasting approximately 40 hours, your child, a boy, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 14 pounds, 2 ounces, and will be 21 inches long. This child will have medium hazel eyes and some auburn hair."

14 pounds 2 ounces after 40 hours of labour?? No, make it stop!

audreyraines · 05/08/2009 15:52

monkeyfeathers, i was quite glad the last animal i saw was a squirrel. so cute!

midnightexpress · 05/08/2009 16:02

The day you deliver, outside will be warm. Your baby will arrive in the late afternoon. After a labor lasting approximately 10 hours, your child, a girl, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 15 pounds, 7 ounces, and will be 22-1/2 inches long. This child will have light blue eyes and fluffy red hair.

Well, I've got one with red hair already so that's a possibility, but 15 lbs 7oz??? Bleedin Nora.

Just as well I'm not actually pg

Bettymum · 05/08/2009 16:11

Here is DH's birth prediction:

"The day you deliver, outside will be hazy. Your baby will arrive in the early afternoon. After a labor lasting approximately 5 hours, your child, a boy, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 9 pounds, 8 ounces, and will be 20 inches long. This child will have light violet eyes and a little patch of blonde hair."

We are both dark haired. And how come he gets a quick labour?

YanknCock · 05/08/2009 16:40

The day you deliver, outside will be cloudy. Your baby will arrive in the middle of the afternoon. After a labor lasting approximately 11 hours, your child, a girl, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 4 pounds, 10 ounces, and will be 17 inches long. This child will have light brown eyes and some blonde hair.

Um...well I know I'm having a boy, so am skeptical already. There is also no way in hell this baby is under 5lbs! He's bigger than 5lbs now, and I've got three weeks to go. And brown eyes not possible with me and DH's eye colour combinations, they will be blue or green, but not brown.

Original poster

GentlyDoesIt · 05/08/2009 16:52

Blimey, I only posted this up because mine (and the few tests I tried) were so fluffy - I thought it was a sort of placebo for reassurance, but there are a few eye-popping ones coming up.

I'm waiting for "The day you deliver, outside will be a pit of fizzing lava. Your baby will arrive in the middle of the desert. After a labour lasting approximately 100 hours, your child, with three of each genitalia, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 20 pounds and be 7 inches long. This child will have fluorescant green eyes and pink hair extensions."

OP posts:

sydneysuze · 06/08/2009 18:23

'The day you deliver, outside will be light. Your baby will arrive in the middle of the afternoon. After a labor lasting approximately 44 hours, your child, a girl, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 6 pounds, 14 ounces, and will be 21 inches long. This child will have dark green eyes and a little patch of brown hair.'

44 blinking hours????? Thanks Gently I'll be having nightmares now for the nest 6 weeks!!!!!

sydneysuze · 06/08/2009 18:23

Ahem next obviously ....

Thandeka · 06/08/2009 18:34

14pounds 4 ounces- how i wish i hadnt clicked on that link....
sniff.

Right pass me that bio oil get me a marrow and a map for me perineum- am off for a stretch.

TheProfiteroleThief · 06/08/2009 18:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thandeka · 06/08/2009 18:52

ah but it could be predicting a future pregnancy profiterole theif.......

TheProfiteroleThief · 06/08/2009 18:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

GentlyDoesIt · 06/08/2009 19:12

Hello sydney me old mucker!

Doing a bit of nesting, are we?

Sorry about the 44 hours... Maybe you can include every single Braxton Hicks in that, bringing the final labour down to about 4 hours? Does that sound better?

...actually strike that - Madame Z predicted 4 hours for me, so if I include my BH too my labour will enter some kind of wormhole in time and my baby will arrive yesterday and I'll miss it.

OP posts:

Trikken · 06/08/2009 19:38

The day you deliver, outside will be light. Your baby will arrive in the late morning. After a labor lasting approximately 5 hours, your child, a girl, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 4 pounds, 2 ounces, and will be 17 inches long. This child will have medium amber eyes and a lot of brown hair.

possible although dont think she will have amber eyes, they will probably be blue or greeny.

HeadFairy · 06/08/2009 19:44

Ha! I reckon this is waaaaay out...

The day you deliver, outside will be warm (dc is due Christmas day ). Your baby will arrive in the mid morning (hmmm no comment - yet). After a labor lasting approximately 19 hours (flipping hope not, probably on course for a cs), your child, a girl (I have been having girl thoughts), will be born. Your baby will weigh about 5 pounds, 10 ounces (little bit on the small size ), and will be 21 inches long. This child will have dark green eyes and some black hair (no one in the family has dark green eyes, or green eyes of any shade, or black hair, we're all blonde and blue eyed!!)

duchesse · 07/08/2009 18:45

The day you deliver, outside will be hazy. Your baby will arrive in the early evening. After a labor lasting approximately 19 hours, your child, a boy, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 12 pounds, 4 ounces, and will be 16 inches long. This child will have light gray eyes and a little patch of auburn hair.

Twelve flipping pounds!!!!??? I certainly hope not! It would have to have put on 1lb a week in the last 8 weeks!

BabyBump2B · 08/08/2009 19:42

LOL - this is a perfect distraction from it being my due date and no sign of baby!

'The day you deliver, outside will be bright. Your baby will arrive in the late morning. After a labor lasting approximately 16 hours, your child, a boy, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 10 pounds, 10 ounces, and will be 21 inches long. This child will have dark violet eyes and some blonde hair.'

Well we know its a girl, she's pretty guaranteed to have blue eyes as both DH and I AND all our parents have blue eyes and I'm praying she's not 10lbs!

What a great laugh!

skorpion · 20/08/2009 10:37

Mine will be 6lb something. And she has 15 weeks left to grow a willy! 13 hours of labour, though...

sockmonkey · 20/08/2009 10:57

The day you deliver, outside will be windy. Your baby will arrive in the late night. After a labor lasting approximately 15 hours, your child, a boy, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 5 pounds, 4 ounces, and will be 18-1/2 inches long. This child will have dark blue eyes and a little patch of brown hair.

Cool, my babies are getting smaller each time! Not sure about a 15 hour labour. Will find out in a couple of weeks at my scan if the sex is right at least.

JLo2 · 20/08/2009 10:58

LOL
Just did this for my now 8 week old and the only thing she got right were the blue eyes. Nothing else was even close

sockmonkey · 20/08/2009 11:44

Just done it again cos it's raining now...and I'm having a blonde girl, down to a 4 hour labour too. Hurray for british summertime.

Chrysanthamum · 25/08/2009 23:04

Yeah I'm getting a girl- after 15 hrs weighing 5 ib Not likely I'm huge! Brown eyes and auburn hair how mysterious!

WriggleJiggle · 25/08/2009 23:24

Thats very weird.
For ds1 everything in the prediction was correct apart from the hair colour.

However, I would have answered the same for DD2, and the same prediction would be absolutely completely wrong.

WriggleJiggle · 25/08/2009 23:24

Thats very weird.
For ds1 everything in the prediction was correct apart from the hair colour.

However, I would have answered the same for DD2, and the same prediction would be absolutely completely wrong.

Jacksmama · 25/08/2009 23:41

"The day you deliver, outside will be rainy. Your baby will arrive in the early evening. After a labor lasting approximately 25 hours, your child, a girl, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 8 pounds, 4 ounces, and will be 21 -1/2 inches long. This child will have dark hazel eyes and curly brown hair."

What a complete load of shit.

It was sunny.
DS was born at 12:54 pm.
Labour was 36 hours and ended in forceps delivery.
DS is clearly a boy.
He was 7 lbs 7 oz.
Blond, with dark blue eyes at birth that changed to milk chocolate brown.

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