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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Did you / would let your DH see the baby being born, I mean at the" far end" ??

44 replies

Summerfruit · 17/07/2009 11:02

I'll be interested to know as I'm having this debate with the friend..Personnaly, I didn't want DH seeing the dds coming out, I mean I didn't want him to have a direct view on it. What are your views ?

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Surfermum · 17/07/2009 11:06

Yes, he was there seeing it happen in it's full glory. He even played with dd's hair when her head crowned!

I can still remember him talking in amazement about what he saw, and how pleased he was to be able to be there and helping.

TigerFeet · 17/07/2009 11:08

DH originally said he was going to stay at the head end, but when push came to shove () he was holding one of my legs and saw the whole thing. He definitely doesn't regret it. He cut the cord too, which he had said he wasn't going to do. I think the thought of what it might be like and the reality were very different for him.

GodzillasBumcheek · 17/07/2009 11:08

Poor DH had a full view of DTD2 coming out, as he was sitting at that end of the room holding DTD1! He didn't like it but it gave him an instant bond with both babies which he said he didn't have with DD3. HTH

Wilts · 17/07/2009 11:09

Both Dh and my mum saw it all at the birth of Ds2. I think it's a pretty amazing thing to watch so am glad they both saw it.

anniemac · 17/07/2009 11:10

This reply has been deleted

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Gumbo · 17/07/2009 11:11

No, I didn't want him there - but to be honest, when the time came he wouldn't have been able to elbow his way in amongst all the consultants/paedeatriacians/doctors/midwives/ Japanese tour groups / car park attendants etc...

However, he did go to the loo afterwards while I was still in stirrups waiting to be stitched up, and when he came out I saw him have a look at the train-smash-fanjo and his face was a picture

OrmIrian · 17/07/2009 11:12

Yes. It didn't seem to matter much at the time.

idunnop · 17/07/2009 11:12

DH saw everything. During the hardest part of my labour, when I really felt I couldn't manage and felt like giving up, DH was saying "it's amazing, it's amazing! I can see the baby's head!" and although it didn't help at the time (in fact I think I replied "I don't care!!!"), I'm so glad that we both have that memory now, and that it was such a positive experience for him (which makes it, in hindsight, more of a positive experience for me too in a way).

rubyslippers · 17/07/2009 11:14

i think he did

i have NO recollection of large parts of my labour

he did tell me DS was a boy which was lovely as we didn't know, so he must have been in the vicinity

he was with me when i was being stitched up - i think that was far more upsetting for us both TBH

serenity · 17/07/2009 11:15

He saw all three come out, as did my Mum. Their choice, I was somewhat preoccupied at the time and could have had an entire football team watching for all I cared

Piccalilli2 · 17/07/2009 11:16

I've no idea, frankly, there were that many people in the room (forceps delivery in theatre prepped for possible c-section- there must have been 20 people in there). I'm not sure it would have bothered me though, he'd already seen me in a variety of less than attractive situations.

Noonki · 17/07/2009 11:18

No - DH has helped a few people give birth as he is a paramedic and asked to remain at near my head.

A friend of mine's husband was holding his DWs legs and she asked him if he could see any thing yet.

To which he replied 'We could have our first conversation now'

notcitrus · 17/07/2009 11:18

We ended up in theatre to try a ventouse, but had been told I probably needed a cs. MrNC stood by my waist as that's where there was space. When one push with one ventouse pull led to the head popping out, I didn't believe them so MrNC moved a bit nearer. He also watched carefully to ensure I got stitched up slowly and carefully!

At the time I couldn't care less but I was a bit shy of MrNC checking the area over the next couple weeks - but he wanted to prove he wasn't running away.

Bettymum · 17/07/2009 11:18

Yup, in all its gory glory. I think the part that most disturbed him was the doctor bracing her knee against the end of the bed to get a better pull on the ventouse .

I think he was a little traumatised at the time but he's fine now.

Bettymum · 17/07/2009 11:19

Aww, MrNC sounds lovely

ZacharyQuack · 17/07/2009 11:20

DH had no choice - I had my foot planted firmly in his stomach at the time.

mosschops30 · 17/07/2009 11:22

No i didnt and dont want dh down the 'goal end' for no.3 either.
He says you can see quite enough from the top thank you very much

Surfermum · 17/07/2009 11:26

Oh yes idunnop you I remember dh playing with dd's hair and saying "do you want to feel the head" at which I yelled "no I fucking don't I just want it out" .

5inthebed · 17/07/2009 11:26

I've had three sections, so DH never got the choice. I watched my neice being born though, and can honestly say it was one of the most emotional and beautiful things I have ever seen. Truely amazing.

Original poster

Summerfruit · 17/07/2009 11:29

My dh saw both my dds being born but we had agreed that he wouldn't ! For the first, he got dragged by the midwife saying : Oh look she is coming and she has a lots of dark hair, come and touch ! and the for the second one as it was a homebirth, the space was restraint, he saw dd2 flying out of me (his words) !

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MustHaveaVeryShortMemory · 17/07/2009 11:55

Well each to their own and I think you should agree beforehand if possible what you - the Mother - would like. He is there to support you after all, its not a spectator sport.

I asked him to stay at the top end, but I had exactly like you summerfruit, the midwife saying "come and look at the head" and pulling him round.

oopsacoconut · 17/07/2009 12:05

DH didn't want to see but when the midwife told him to come and see he did and took the camera I was too busy pushing to care what he was doing at the time, we have pictures of DD from crowning to being on my tummy - alot shot in sports mode so it you watch them fast you can watch DD being born from start to finish.

twoplusone · 17/07/2009 16:19

My DH went to watch both times as soon as the MW had said I could start pushing.. he thought it was amazing.. and wehn I had DS2, my friend was with us also and as soon as the MW said he had crowned, she came running over and said sorry do you mind.. My answer not at all go for your life.. I really didnt csre.. TBH I dont really think they arre looking at your fanjo it s the amazing spectacle of the baby coming that they want to see.
So no doubt in Feb when DC4 makes his/her appearance DH will be at the business end.

But as someone else said the choice is yours, I am a very open person, so it didnt bother me at all.. But if you and your DH /DP arent comfortable then he sticks at your end. xx

Mamulik · 17/07/2009 18:52

I wish my mum was with me, but not my DH

allaboutme · 17/07/2009 18:57

dh was at business end for both mine
mil also there for dc2 (long story!)

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