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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

I so don't want to tear/have episiotimy....NHS/Private

34 replies

bracingair · 12/02/2009 20:45

Have scar tissue from episiotomy breaking down after last birth. I am desperate not to have it again. Really desperate. Is ther anything I can do? Would go private to ensure it even

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thisisyesterday · 12/02/2009 20:46

well, the only way I can think of to absolutely ensure it is to have a caesarean. but that's a bit extreme really lol

i don'tthink going private will make a difference at all.

i tore first time, but not second despite bigger baby with bigger head.

gingerninja · 12/02/2009 20:47

What difference would going private make though? I have no advice as to how to stop it but presumably it's because the head is too big or you're pushing when you're not fully dilated. I am prepared to be corrected but can't understand why being private would make a diff.

yousaidit · 12/02/2009 20:49

can't see how going private would help; my 3rd tear went when i had ds in exactly same place as when i had dd, nothing in the care recived from nhs contributed to this. as thisis.. says, c section would guarantee no tear but do you really want to do that?

kidcreoleandthecoconuts · 12/02/2009 20:50

Going private wouldnt make any difference unless you were to pay to have an elective caesarean.

bamboostalks · 12/02/2009 20:53

I had the same phobia and idea as you. Paid to go private to avoid tear. Don't ask what my rational was. The care was great but I had a 3rd degree tear that took ages to semi heal and two years down the line, is still very damaged.

Original poster

bracingair · 12/02/2009 20:54

well i could have scar tissue from a c-section too, though that wouldnt affect sex lol.

The reason i would consider going private is that i would know in advance and be able to control who would direct my birth. So I would not have to rely on a midwife i didnt trust, or a doctor who is rushing iykswim?

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Original poster

bracingair · 12/02/2009 20:55

xposts bamboostalks..oh dear sounds awful.

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kidcreoleandthecoconuts · 12/02/2009 20:58

Sorry, but I still dont think going private would guarantee that you wouldnt tear.
I would say that there are loads of factors involved in whether you'll tear or not. Midwives and dr's who work in the private sector dont necessarily provide better care.

theyoungvisiter · 12/02/2009 20:59

it might be worth your having a look at cote d'azure's thread here - it's pretty encouraging - most people who have to have an episiotomy first time don't need one second time.

MissTFied · 12/02/2009 21:02

I didn't tear either time.

DD was born in a birthing pool and I think that helped.

DS was born on dry land.

Both times I just took it easy and listened to the midwives at the crucial crowning part.

Original poster

bracingair · 12/02/2009 21:08

thanks the youngvisitor - it does soud hopeful.

My antinatal teacher last time was talking about massaging the perineum over the babys head(i think!) I gues i was hoping that someone could recomeend a fab midwife who could help avoid episiotomys.

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Original poster

bracingair · 12/02/2009 21:08

should have spellchecked....

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theyoungvisiter · 12/02/2009 21:11

FWIW I think a homebirth would be your best bet, if that's an option.

I had a hospital birth first time and a home birth 2nd time and the home birth midwives were much more experienced and more kind of holistic.

Northernlurker · 12/02/2009 21:13

I post this on all this sort of threads but - as a 'veteran' of three episiotomys, I just want to say that if you do have another cut - or tear - it isn't the end of the world. Most people heal very well and there is help available for those who don't.

Original poster

bracingair · 12/02/2009 21:17

but that is my problem - i still havent healed from my last one 3 years ago. Despite going back to the hospital many many times to the post birth trauma unit, they dont recommend re-doing it as it is not severe enough, and you could get scar tissue again. But it does still hurt me during sex, and i want to do anything possible to avoid it again.

Homebirth not really an option for me as i would be too scared that in the very slight risk that the baby needed immeadiate hospital care, he/she wouldnt be able to have it immeadiately.

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Ohforfoxsake · 12/02/2009 21:21

I believe its the midwife that makes the difference.

I've had 4 births, no tearing or cutting. DS1 had a very big head, all of their head measurements were 75 centile I think. 3 were homebirths, and I agree that helped. MWs don't want to be stitching you up, its in their interests to get you through it intact.

Focus and listen to what the MW is telling you. It is crucial that you pant when she tells you as it controls the urge to push. Push before you are stretched and you will be more likely to tear.

Talk to your MW, tell her you want to avoid it, and really, really, really listen to her, although you will be thinking you are going to split in half and there is no way this is going to happen. When you are at that point, when all you want to do is scream and cry and refuse to do what she is saying, you have to. But, it is very nearly all over.

And you can massage your perinium with wheatgerm oil.

Ohforfoxsake · 12/02/2009 21:23

Sorry, just realised this isn't your first, so you know all that hideous stuff!

Original poster

bracingair · 12/02/2009 21:27

i had an epidural and couldnt feel to push, hence ventouce, hence episiotomy. So of course next time will not have epidural....but still so worried. Best case scenario is the stretching heals the scar tissue!!

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becstarlitsea · 12/02/2009 21:29

I went private & got deep 2nd degree tear. Don't regret going private at all - I didn't do it for that reason, more because I wanted the one-to-one support & care.

I took a long time to heal, and I still have some problems (as well as external tear there was a lot of nerve & ligament damage internally).

Money can buy you a lot of things, but it can't buy you a pristine fanjo, unfortunately

mlm19 · 12/02/2009 21:29

I may be totally wrong but it may be better to have an episiotomy as a preventative?? That way you could have it restiched and the scar tissue removed. I have an episiotomy with DS and would ask for one next time as I think it heals better than a tear.

mlm19 · 12/02/2009 21:34

Bracingair I'm not sure how 'feeling' pushing will help. The urge would be very strong. I personally wanted to be pain free and concentrate on what I was being told to do. My Doc also felt that ventouce delivery also protected the pelvic floor as it could limit the pushing stage........others may disagree!

theyoungvisiter · 12/02/2009 21:35

mlm - I think the jury's out on that (which heals better), most MW seem to say a cut is easier to stitch but a tear heals better, a botched stitching job will not heal well of course though.

And of course having the cut doesn't prevent you tearing further.

bracingair - I had an episiotomy first time round and only a graze along the scar line second time round - it healed within a week or so (compared to weeks and weeks of soreness first time round) and I think the scar tissue does feel better after being stretched.

mlm19 · 12/02/2009 21:37

I think your right theyoungvisiter, its all down to how well the wound is stiched. I have heard 'grazes' can be very painful.

I think taking all the pain meds you are given helps too!

Rolf · 12/02/2009 21:47

when I had DC4 my big wishes (apart from the obvious healthy baby one!) were to not panic, and to not tear. I did hypnosis which helped me to relax and to breathe the baby out, rather than push. I had a very small graze which didn't cause me any problems at all.

hth

seanbonfire · 12/02/2009 21:48

ouch!! my legs are so tightly crossed reading this! Know this might sound bit airy fairy in light of your experience but Miriam Stoppard gives some good advie about panting etc and focusing on rRELAXING your pelvic floor when pushing.Kind of opening down and out.

Am convinced this is why i had no stitches on any of my kids 3 who were 8lbs 15oz. 9lbs and 9lbs 1oz

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