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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Who needed stitches and then how long before sex?

28 replies

bunsen · 20/01/2009 20:14

Natural birth, does it always lead to tearing and if so how quickly does it heal? Seems to only be the scare stories I notice on here so positive stories are very welcome.

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thisisyesterday · 20/01/2009 20:18

no, it doesn't always lead to tearing. I tore with my first, but had ventouse which is prob why. had stitches
had sex about 5 or 6 weeks post-partum. was slightly uncomfortable, but not painful

had a totally natural birth second time around. no tearing at all

Scroggleboggle · 20/01/2009 20:19

I didn't have natural birth (in the sense that I had lots of drugs and forceps) and didn't tear but I did have a big episiotomy and lots of stiches. It healed quickly in that after two weeks I could pretty much sit down without pain. And I had sex after three months! Not sure if that's ages or soon compared to other people, it felt about right to me though (I definitely wouldn't have wanted it to be any sooner)! Not sure about my DH though .... and I'm a bit embarrassed to admit this, but thought I'd add that sex has if anything been better since having my DD, definitely not worse. Again, not sure what my DH would say!

Biglips · 20/01/2009 20:25

i had internal stitches due to a 2nd degree tear. Had sex 5 weeks later. it was uncomfortable but not painful (cos i also had a small graze) and had very gentle sex too.

i starting to feel normal when my dd2 was 10 weeks old.

hkz · 20/01/2009 20:26

I had a natural birth with DD1 and tore slightly, had very minor stitches and had sex after about 5 weeks.

I kept the stitches clean, and they were a bit sore, but healed up quickly, after about 2 weeks...

Lizzylou · 20/01/2009 20:32

I had two ventouses, lots of stitches and with DS1 tried sex at 8 weeks, but didn't really enjoy it. After 10 weeks it was OK.

DS2 was longer as had a lot of stitches and was shattered! Prob about 12 weeks, didn't feel "right" for a good 5/6mths though.

OsmosisBanana · 20/01/2009 20:32

It doesn't always lead to tearing. Don't push unless you're told to helps! I ignored that advice...

I had 2x 2nd degree tears, due to lightning speed delivery after waters eventually breaking and my inability to listen to my midwife!

Uh... sex... I think we had sex about 2-3 weeks after and it was fine. I think
DH was actually more anxious about than me having witnessed the whole thing and making sure they were sewing me back up neatly!

I told him not to but would he listen.....

CherryChoc · 20/01/2009 20:58

I had a natural hospital birth (actually really enjoyed most of it!) but I did tear and had stitches. I tore because DS's hand was up by his face, though.

You can reduce your risk of tearing by labouring and giving birth (if you want) in water - babies with hands by faces usually cause 3rd degree tears apparently whereas I only had a 1st degree, and they were pushing me to push quickly or they were going to cut me.

My other tip is don't push until it is physically impossible not to - try to hold off as long as possible, unless the medical people tell you differently (and if you end up having an epidural listen to their guidance because you might not get the urge to push)

As for sex, it was 2 months and was a bit uncomfortable and we had to use a lot of lube. 3 months post birth now and sex still doesn't feel as it should but I think it will only be another couple of weeks.

kidcreoleandthecoconuts · 20/01/2009 21:08

I had two natural births. With ds i had a small labial laceration and no stitches. With ds i had a small perineal tear and no stitches.

I had sex after 4 weeks and 8 weeks.

sobloodystupid · 20/01/2009 21:17

Uh oh. I had an episiotomy and ventouse delivery. Had sex after 3 months but was uncomfortable during sex for about 12 months (needed loads of lube, was v tight). All right now Sorry!

IdrisTheDragon · 20/01/2009 21:19

I had an episiotomy and forceps with DS and a second degree tear which was sewn up in theatre. Have a feeling I had sex when he was about 3 weeks old (in a sort of making sure I still could type of way).

It felt a bit odd, but wasn't painful.

carmenelectra · 20/01/2009 21:22

ds1 had epis and sex afetr 3wks. Ds2 1st degree tear, no stitches. Sex after 5/6wks i think(waited longer cos bled longer). Fine both times

PlumBumMum · 20/01/2009 21:24

Had episiotomy with number 2 & 3 think it was about 5 weeks with both, again uncomfortable but not sore
Although took alot longer to feel right after no3, but I put that down to no pain relief (ouch for episio on gas and air)and dd in a big hurry to get out, took it out of me!

pinknatalie · 20/01/2009 22:08

Hi. With my 1st child i needed stitches, it was a large deep tear (3rd degree) and was quite painful although i think maybe most of the pain was in my head as i was scared it would come open. My midwife at the time said i was a quick healer. I had a period after my 1st child for about 4 weeks so it was about 5/6 weeks when i tried to have sex again. the 1st attemp was painful and my partner had to stop but on the 2nd attemp we used alot of lube and it felt ok. it took about 6 months for sex to go back to being "good" to be honest.
Then after my second child i didnt need stitches at all and he was a much bigger baby! i tore slightly but the midwife said it wasnt big enough to cause damage. period was shorter after this pregnancy but i had terrible after birth pains as i was breast feeding, they lasted for about 8 weeks and put me completely off sex! after finishing breast feeding we tried to have sex and it felt good straight away.

I had 2 natural births, didnt even have gas and air. The 1st pregnancy was a hospital birth and i was in labour for 5 1/2 hours and the 2nd pregnancy was a planned home birth, i was in labour for 18hours.

hope this helps x

lulu41 · 21/01/2009 13:37

I had stitches with both mine - had second after 1st about 2 months no problems - 2nd is 6 in July we still havenet had sex - but hey thats a different thead

MrsTittleMouse · 21/01/2009 13:52

If you'd like positive stories then you might like to search for the "oops my children caught me having sex" and the "oops we're going to have a much smaller age gap that we'd planned" threads. Proof positive that there is sex after childbirth.

chandellina · 21/01/2009 21:11

i had forceps and an episiotomy six months ago and still can't have sex.
we started trying around six weeks but there was no way.
Am on a waiting list to get it fixed with surgery ...

RipVanTwinkle · 21/01/2009 21:19

No tear, but an episiotomy which was subsequently extended. Lot of stitches. 2 years

I think the lack of was because of a horribly painful smear test shortly after the birth (stitching made an already difficult to access cervix even worse). I'm happy to say all is now pain free, although I am still very aware of the scar.

Oh, and a tip. I would go for an episiotomy rather than risking a tear any day. You get a local anaesthetic so you don't feel the ring of fire, plus it makes having stitches a doddle. I don't like the idea of having an injection for a local when I'm not distracted by a contraction - not one bit.

NorktasticNinja · 21/01/2009 21:23

I had stitches, mostly internal, after DDs ventuse delivery. My doctor was very skillful so no episiotomy just some tearing.

We had sex again after 3 weeks and it was just fine.

littleboyblue · 21/01/2009 21:24

I had a 2nd degree tear and was cut to allow for forceps and I think we had sex not 2 weeks later

thatsnotmymonster · 21/01/2009 21:32

I had 2nd degree tears with ds and dd1. Took 3 weeks until all pain had gone. Had sex after 8wks and 5wks (I think!)

With dd2 I had a planned episiotomy- Oh it was so amazing compared to tearing- so I had a few stitches but nothing like previously. Lost a lot less blood too so I felt brilliant after the labour and healed more quickly. However, it was more than 3 months before sex due to sheer, bloody exhaustion- dc's aged 3.5, 2 and newborn and also to make absolutely damn certain I wouldn't get pregnant again

Original poster

bunsen · 22/01/2009 14:11

Haha know where you are coming from thatsnotmymonster! Definitely do not want to get pregnant again! Don't know how those who have many children cope! I am drawing the line after this one, 2 is enough!
Thanks to everyone for your honesty and advice, I have now been booked in for elective c section today but you never know! Still nearly a month for the little un to make an appearance!

OP posts:

picklesmama · 23/01/2009 23:57

It's only since discovering MN I realise how lucky I was with DD - she had her hand by her face and I had some minor internal tears only. Unfortunately the junior doctor who sewed them up was a bit incompetent - panicked, stitched quite a bit, even though she said they were "minor abrasions"?. The first few times we had sex hurt (2-3 months), after then it was fine.
DS shot out and I had a small perineal tear, needed about 5 stitches, hurt for 3 weeks or so but had sex after 5 and was as if it never happened.

AliceMumma · 01/02/2009 23:41

I had episiotomy forceps and 12 stitches.
The stitches burst 4 days later, became infected then i had to go to hospital for 2 more days with a drip in my hand.

3 weeks later the cut was healed enough for me to go wakeboarding, and sex at 5 weeks after birth. Bit tender tho.

A friend of mine tore internally and got stithed up, and couldnt have sex for 6 months with out intense pain so i think it depends on where and how you tear/cut..

MKG · 02/02/2009 00:06

I had second degree tears with both ds1 and ds2 with ds1 I had sex 6 weeks after and it was fine (I actually felt fine about them after about 2 weeks). With ds2 I felt fine after a week.

BoffinMum · 02/02/2009 10:38

DD - needed lots of stitches - 3 weeks
DS1 - minor graze (water birth) and no stitches - 10 days - re-healed the area where the stitches had been so good improvement all around
DS2 - same minor graze but even smaller (water birth) and no stitches - 10 days
DS3 ????? (Due in 9 weeks!)

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