Who needed stitches and then how long before sex?

[bunsen]

Natural birth, does it always lead to tearing and if so how quickly does it heal? Seems to only be the scare stories I notice on here so positive stories are very welcome.

I had episiostomy and ventouse both times
I think we tried before at 8 weeks, but it was more like 10/12 weeks before I enjoyed it
I know from speaking with friends that I must have been a wuss though.

Had episiotomy forceps and stitches that I had to have looked at again as not done properly but sex at 6 weeks, and was fine.

I didn't tear with my first, still remember that when I get annoyed with him! expecting second in 8 weeks..

I put it down to:

1. luck
2. his position, he was OP but no hands up or anything
3. fact I'd had epidural, was very numb down there and so he slipped out, I didn't have any urge to push so it wasn't forced
4. Perineal massage twice a day from 37 weeks with oil, it's not really massage, it's stretching your bits. There's loads of info on here on how to do it. I'm still convinced that was what saved me.

I think a good midwife who tells you to pant at the right places would also help.

On sex, I think we did it 6 weeks after as a kind of symbolic thing, but tbh I didn't really feel like it much until DS was 6 months or so, I can't imagine a more unsexy time than when you have a small baby, I didn't even have time to wash my hair let alone have sex. Of course this might be different with a second one as you're not as anxious...