Finding it hard to accept the c-section I asked for during induction

[debut2026]

I had a Bishop’s score of 4 initially. The balloon got me to 4cm but didn’t start contractions. I had my waters broken but that did nothing. After 8 hours on the drip I had only got to 5cm. I asked for a c-section at that point.

Now part of me wishes I had asked for an epidural and given it a go, but when I see it all written down the other part of me thinks that a c-section was likely on the cards anyway.

Overall it was a positive experience but it also really wasn’t what I hoped for. I’m worried that I’m already building up a redemptive VBAC in my mind and I know that’s so unhealthy. Has anyone else worked through this?

I had two sections for medical reasons and no regrets at all. The objective is to give birth to a healthy baby and that’s what I did, I don’t care how they came out!

As long as you and baby are here and healthy does it matter? I wanted a c-section and was persuaded to go naturally. Didn’t even get time for a paracetamol.
dont get yourself in a tizz about it, theres too much pressure on women and birth plans ….but who gives a fuck. None of them ever go as planned.
you have a beautiful baby and a new life. Stop agonising over those hours about how they arrived and enjoy their arrival

Many trusts offer a birth debrief where a midwife will go through your notes with you and review what happened. I had one after I found myself with similar questions to you. I know others that did too and they found it useful. Either contact your community midwife or health visitor.

The rational part of me knows that it doesn’t matter but I just can’t dismiss it.

I had heard of birth debriefs but I’m not sure if they’ll just come back to the fact that I asked for the c-section?

Im in the same position OP. Had a Csection after a failed induction (my bishops score was still under 4 after 2 pessaries and tablets, they couldnt even get the balloon in) and I feel sad about it, even though it was my choice. I didnt even feel fussed about a vaginal birth at the start and always said Id be happy for a Csection if needed

Logically it doesnt matter, your baby is here and you are both healthy, but I think its the heavy focus on birth plans and prep in the lead up. My midwives told me off for not having a birth plan and not doing enough to prep for a vaginal birth, so I did that and did all the hypnobirthing/aromotherapy/holistic stuff and then my birth plan didnt even leave my bag!

Try to focus on why you asked for a c-section in the moment.

We can only make decisions on what we know and feel at the time - hindsight is a wonderful thing and all that - trust that it was the right thing for you when you were making the decision in the moment.

For what it’s worth, in your scenario I’d have made the same decision.

My induction did naff all except hurt and I asked for a csection knowing that I'd most likely end up with one anyway, just 12 hours more knackered and potentially more urgent if baby started struggling.

The midwife afterwards said she felt it was the right choice as thats usually where they end up. A birth debrief may help in that regard.

Was it a good section? As mine wasn't a rush I loved picking the music, we got hundreds of photos, the staff were brilliant and it was so relaxed.

There's a few things I dont love, my scar isnt great after I got an infection, but better there than my vag I guess!

Youre totally allowed to feel how you do no matter how safe and healthy you and baby are.

OP the data shows that being induced doubles the likelihood of having a C section, vs spontaneous labour, so once induced it was a much more likely outcome for you, so whilst you are feeling like you chose it, the reality is you were much more likely to have ended up with one anyway, so don’t be so hard on yourself, I know in the first year of my first babies birth I (partly due to heightened anxiety, new mum stressed and overwhelm) replayed my birth over and over and fixated on it, I felt sad that it hadn’t gone how I thought, for me I just had to come to terms, almost grieve for what didn’t happen, then as my anxiety lessoned and I read more about birthing outcomes and whybit had happened ect I began to accept that it went how it went. It just took time and talking for me.

Thank you for these lovely and wise words 🥺 feel a bit teary reading them over.

Yes I knew going in that it was very likely and I always thought I wouldn’t be bothered either. The section was lovely, the kindest staff and little guy struggled a little bit coming out so I do know it was a good decision. I think I’m just mourning a mythical waterbirth that likely wouldn’t have happened anyway!

I think I will ask for a birth debrief. I am just worried they say I ‘gave up’ in more clinical terms!

I think you made the right call. I asked for a C section when I was 10cm, and my daughter’s hear rate was beginning to go wrong. By that point she would have had to be pushed back up the birth canal to do a section, which would have been risky. So I agreed to ventouse and forceps and had all sorts of birth injuries as well as a PPH. The time to make that choice was when you did, earlier on. And having had two subsequent ELCS, I found them vastly preferable to recovery from instrumental birth!

I had an emergency c section @debut2026 which wasn't how I'd imagined my birth experience to be. For months afterwards I wanted to tell any pregnant women I saw not to do what I'd done during labour to avoid having a c section which was completely irrational and I would get really emotional just thinking about it.

I can't remember when or why I stopped thinking that way but I had a birth debrief to talk it through and time has definitely helped me make peace with it.

I hope you can make peace with it too 💐