Finding it hard to accept the c-section I asked for during induction

[debut2026]

I had a Bishop’s score of 4 initially. The balloon got me to 4cm but didn’t start contractions. I had my waters broken but that did nothing. After 8 hours on the drip I had only got to 5cm. I asked for a c-section at that point.

Now part of me wishes I had asked for an epidural and given it a go, but when I see it all written down the other part of me thinks that a c-section was likely on the cards anyway.

Overall it was a positive experience but it also really wasn’t what I hoped for. I’m worried that I’m already building up a redemptive VBAC in my mind and I know that’s so unhealthy. Has anyone else worked through this?

I had two sections for medical reasons and no regrets at all. The objective is to give birth to a healthy baby and that’s what I did, I don’t care how they came out!

As long as you and baby are here and healthy does it matter? I wanted a c-section and was persuaded to go naturally. Didn’t even get time for a paracetamol.
dont get yourself in a tizz about it, theres too much pressure on women and birth plans ….but who gives a fuck. None of them ever go as planned.
you have a beautiful baby and a new life. Stop agonising over those hours about how they arrived and enjoy their arrival

Many trusts offer a birth debrief where a midwife will go through your notes with you and review what happened. I had one after I found myself with similar questions to you. I know others that did too and they found it useful. Either contact your community midwife or health visitor.

The rational part of me knows that it doesn’t matter but I just can’t dismiss it.

I had heard of birth debriefs but I’m not sure if they’ll just come back to the fact that I asked for the c-section?

Im in the same position OP. Had a Csection after a failed induction (my bishops score was still under 4 after 2 pessaries and tablets, they couldnt even get the balloon in) and I feel sad about it, even though it was my choice. I didnt even feel fussed about a vaginal birth at the start and always said Id be happy for a Csection if needed

Logically it doesnt matter, your baby is here and you are both healthy, but I think its the heavy focus on birth plans and prep in the lead up. My midwives told me off for not having a birth plan and not doing enough to prep for a vaginal birth, so I did that and did all the hypnobirthing/aromotherapy/holistic stuff and then my birth plan didnt even leave my bag!

Try to focus on why you asked for a c-section in the moment.

We can only make decisions on what we know and feel at the time - hindsight is a wonderful thing and all that - trust that it was the right thing for you when you were making the decision in the moment.

For what it’s worth, in your scenario I’d have made the same decision.

My induction did naff all except hurt and I asked for a csection knowing that I'd most likely end up with one anyway, just 12 hours more knackered and potentially more urgent if baby started struggling.

The midwife afterwards said she felt it was the right choice as thats usually where they end up. A birth debrief may help in that regard.

Was it a good section? As mine wasn't a rush I loved picking the music, we got hundreds of photos, the staff were brilliant and it was so relaxed.

There's a few things I dont love, my scar isnt great after I got an infection, but better there than my vag I guess!

Youre totally allowed to feel how you do no matter how safe and healthy you and baby are.

OP the data shows that being induced doubles the likelihood of having a C section, vs spontaneous labour, so once induced it was a much more likely outcome for you, so whilst you are feeling like you chose it, the reality is you were much more likely to have ended up with one anyway, so don’t be so hard on yourself, I know in the first year of my first babies birth I (partly due to heightened anxiety, new mum stressed and overwhelm) replayed my birth over and over and fixated on it, I felt sad that it hadn’t gone how I thought, for me I just had to come to terms, almost grieve for what didn’t happen, then as my anxiety lessoned and I read more about birthing outcomes and whybit had happened ect I began to accept that it went how it went. It just took time and talking for me.

Thank you for these lovely and wise words 🥺 feel a bit teary reading them over.

Yes I knew going in that it was very likely and I always thought I wouldn’t be bothered either. The section was lovely, the kindest staff and little guy struggled a little bit coming out so I do know it was a good decision. I think I’m just mourning a mythical waterbirth that likely wouldn’t have happened anyway!

I think I will ask for a birth debrief. I am just worried they say I ‘gave up’ in more clinical terms!

I think you made the right call. I asked for a C section when I was 10cm, and my daughter’s hear rate was beginning to go wrong. By that point she would have had to be pushed back up the birth canal to do a section, which would have been risky. So I agreed to ventouse and forceps and had all sorts of birth injuries as well as a PPH. The time to make that choice was when you did, earlier on. And having had two subsequent ELCS, I found them vastly preferable to recovery from instrumental birth!

I had an emergency c section @debut2026 which wasn't how I'd imagined my birth experience to be. For months afterwards I wanted to tell any pregnant women I saw not to do what I'd done during labour to avoid having a c section which was completely irrational and I would get really emotional just thinking about it.

I can't remember when or why I stopped thinking that way but I had a birth debrief to talk it through and time has definitely helped me make peace with it.

I hope you can make peace with it too 💐

You made the best decision for you and your baby in the circumstances based on the information available to you.
It's still okay to be sad about the things you're sad about. Childbirth is a deeply personal and significant life event. It's typically a pretty vulnerable time, especially if you were a first-time mum.
You matter and your feelings matter too.

I haven’t had a c-section so can’t comment. I just want to say congratulations on your baby. Mine are all at uni now and I adore them with all my heart! It matters not how they came into the world, but that they are here. Enjoy your baby!

Honestly OP, based on what you said, I think it's very likely you would have ended up having a C section anyway. An epidural definitely wouldn't have sped your dilation up!

The problem with this whole NCT earth mother hypnobirthing malarkey is we all put way too much emphasis on the mums power to control the way things turn out. We think if we just do the right exercise right in the run up, say no to pain relief, do the right breathing, endure the pain, then we'll have a natural birth. It's nonsense. We all have different size babies and different body shapes. Some of us will deliver more easily and some of us just won't. For some of us the pain is managable, and for some of us it's excruciating and we need pain relief. In the olden days a lot of us who couldn't deliver easily died in childbirth. Now, thank goodness, doctors can deliver our babies safely.

Both my babies were positioned back to back despite me being active in the run up to the births. I was induced for my first baby and got stuck at 8cm so had a c section. Second baby, I went into labour naturally but again got stuck at 8cm and had a c section. (In hindsight I shouldn't be surprised, as I'm short with narrow hips and had two giant male babies!)

You have made and carried a baby and you are now keeping it alive - that is amazing! Please don't get hung up on the birth

Honestly I think you did the right thing! You don't get an award for struggling on nor for a vaginal delivery.

I had two very long labours with the drip, then epidural, then more and more interventions. DD was born by forceps in theatre so they could switch to a c section if needed. DS was a crash c section, it was a horrific experience ending up with him in neonatal with a collapsed lung and me needing a blood transfusion. I wish I'd asked for a c section hours earlier.

You did the right thing, you did what you needed to, you're both ok.

(Meanwhile I'm in tears because 15 years later I still find it hard to think about as it was so scary!)

When I had my baby after induction over 25 years ago the midwife was obsessed by vaginal birth and I was exhausted. I have never signed any paper so fast as the consent for a C-section. Never regretted it for a single moment and I got zero pain relief after the birth, not even a paracetamol. The community midwife came to the house after the birth and told me “all the other women in the antenatal group managed a natural birth except you” - I think I managed not to say SO WHAT? I can’t recall. Please don’t worry, enjoy your baby 💐

As someone who had both an induction and vaginal birth, and c section for breech - both going pretty well like clockwork - it sounds like you made the right decision, OP! There's no benefit to you or your baby to fret over whether or not you could've laboured longer, and delivered him that way. He came out safe and sound, and it sounds like you recovered well, so job's a good 'un! You made the safest choice in the moment, and you should be proud of that.

I had two pretty blissful elective c sections and I wouldn’t change a thing. I don’t understand the obsession with vaginal births, but I appreciate that they’re important to some people. So, I’m sorry you didn’t get the birth experience you wanted.

However, OP, you have a baby, how they got here is really not massively important in the scheme of things. Congratulations on the bubba!

Of course it matters, there are two people that matter during birth. You made the right decision for yourself in that moment, once the difficulty has passed you can think "maybe I could have taken more" but that's just because your brain starts to forget. You made the right decision for yourself in that moment. You got you and your baby through it safely. But the mental /emotional difficulty you may carry forever, but you'll come to accept it and as time goes on it will be so long ago that it won't hurt as much anymore.

Be kind and gentle to yourself. You did it.

I had a very, very long induction over multiple days and at the debrief afterwards was told I should have had a section rather than continuing- it was not clear why this was not offered. Result was that I was exhausted and semi-delirious, needed ventouse and big epis (which then turned into a serious tear), DS had a v low apgar. It was a horrible experience all round and I think we were lucky that it wasn't worse.

I think it's totally normal to wonder what if- perhaps things would have sped up, perhaps you could have had a straightforward vaginal birth. Of course you can't know either way, but from what you've said it sounds as if the section was absolutely appropriate and the best decision for you and your baby. You might find a formal debrief helpful.

I was induced with DS1. I had been adamant pre birth that I didn't want an epidural, but ended up requesting one after several hours of labour. As it happens, I requested it too late so didn't get it, but with labour you don't know how you're going to respond and how you're going to feel.

With DS2 I was told at 37 weeks I would need a C section due to his position (transverse lie). I was very thankful to have one.

Please don't beat yourself up about decisions you made during the most extreme physical and emotional episode you are likely to ever go through.

And congratulations on your baby!

The community midwife came to the house after the birth and told me “all the other women in the antenatal group managed a natural birth except you” - I think I managed not to say SO WHAT? I can’t recall. Please don’t worry, enjoy your baby

That is awful @JewelledLeaves !! 😮 I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. It's unbelievable that a medical professional has so little understanding of the history of their craft. I suppose all the women who died in childbirth a hundred years ago just weren't trying hard enough eh? What a muppet!