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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

4th degree tear making me ball like a child

40 replies

alltheeights · 11/10/2021 22:34

The pain I get from my tear when I go for a number two is extremely painful and gives me so many "flashbacks" it's literally like giving birth all over again.

I was given lactulose after birth but it hasn't worked, I have only just passed my second stool in 20 days and it was absolute agony, took an hour to get out and caused bleeding.

I use spritz for bits and hold a gauze over my perineum to prevent pressure, I put my feet higher and I don't "push" or strain as such everything I have tried has failed to help.

My doctor has prescribed another laxative that may work better as the need to poo is there but I can't physically get it out.

Any advice how to not absolutely break down in tears and prevent pain whilst pooping? It's really getting me down

OP posts:

Mandofan · 11/10/2021 22:40

Dulcoease stool softener works well. Although I think I’d bite the bullet and try their laxative if I was in your shoes. Good luck, it sounds uncomfortable

Tiddlerslate1987 · 11/10/2021 22:42

Glycerin suppositories. I can’t stress enough how much they will help.

User65412 · 11/10/2021 22:42

I have no advice I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Have you spoke to the hv or gp? I had labial tearing when I gave birth 5 months ago and honestly the stitches were worse than the birth and the agony of going for a wee after was like someone pouring acid on a wound. I feel sick just thinking about it and how depressed and sad I was because of the pain so I really do feel for you. Time helped and me weeing in the bath but not sure that'd help with a poo. Sorry I have no advice but huge sympathy 💐 congratulations on your baby

User65412 · 11/10/2021 22:44

How much lactulose have you tried? I used it when pregnant and was practically swigging it from the bottle every few hours for it to have effect!

Original poster

alltheeights · 12/10/2021 09:28

@User65412

@User65412 I have labial tears too, I joke and say it's a 5th degree tear as she literally left no part down there untorn 😂

A point during a movement actually thought maybe I could do this in the bath it would help relax....but I don't think I could poop in the bath in reality haha

OP posts:

Original poster

alltheeights · 12/10/2021 09:30

@Tiddlerslate1987

Glycerin suppositories. I can’t stress enough how much they will help.

I was tempted to ask for suppositories...but didn't know if it would cause too much of an adverse effect and cause issues with errrm cleaning round the stitches lol

But I'm getting to the point now that I need something more major than what I have

OP posts:

Original poster

alltheeights · 12/10/2021 09:31

@User65412

How much lactulose have you tried? I used it when pregnant and was practically swigging it from the bottle every few hours for it to have effect!

I have been taking 20ml in morning and night for the past two weeks, I was originally prescribed 10ml morning night but they upped it last week to no avail

OP posts:

ame88 · 12/10/2021 09:34

@Tiddlerslate1987

Glycerin suppositories. I can’t stress enough how much they will help.

Totally agree with this advice! I just had an episiotomy and these changed my life and made everything so much better

timeisnotaline · 12/10/2021 09:35

You poor thing. I remember the misery of a 3b tear so can’t imagine! I was swilling lactulose several times a day plus a fybogel sachet, and needed a glycerine suppository at the worst bit, which was about a week pp I think. I made dh take baby and leave the house and I lay on the bathroom floor while it was taking effect, it was awful.
On top of the lactulose and fybogel I drank lots of water, coffee in normal quantities as that does contribute, had multigrain toast or weetbix in the morning and tried to eat a reasonable amount of fruit and veg. Basically all the fibre water and veg for good stool quality plus a decent amount of aid with the lactulose and fybogel. Prune juice can’t hurt either.
Are you taking iron? If so I’d switch that to the spatone, as it’s constipating. And don’t take it at the same time as wheat, tea, coffee.

DontPeeInThePlayHouse · 12/10/2021 09:39

After my tear I used to prepare my anus with vaseline or lube to help a bowel movement. But I can't remember how far past injury I was doing it. I don't want to tell you to give it a go if it is an infection risk on a healing wound.

I remember having to do it for a long time post birth, almost two years

Sleepyquest · 12/10/2021 09:41

Omg I had suppositories after birth and I couldn't get them up far enough and it felt like giving birth again. In fact, I think it was worse! The whole thing was absolutely awful.

I have so much sympathy for you. I would ask for a strong oral laxative which will hurt so much but you will be relieved afterwards.

nameisnotimportant · 12/10/2021 09:44

O god you poor poor thing. You need a softener that physically draws water into the bowel to soften it, then it will be easier to pass. I would try movicol sachets. Drink plenty of water while taking laxatives. Plum juice also helps a lot.

Tiddlerslate1987 · 12/10/2021 09:49

You can buy suppositories in supermarkets/Boots or off Amazon. No need to delay waiting for a prescription. Obviously it isn’t particularly nice doing it, but it doesn’t sound like you’re having a very fun time right now anyway. They’re not messy - you literally just wet them with water and away you go. No increased infection risk with your tear etc.

I’d use them alongside oral laxatives, as it might be that you need to clear the ‘firmer’ backlog. It will get easier and your body will recover.

SingingWaffleDoggy · 12/10/2021 10:02

I can sympathize with you and have been in the same situation. You definitely need some suppositories as it will have formed a plug after all this time so you need to attack from the bottom up, and take laxido/movicol/fybogel sachets (the orange flavour ones dissolved in orange juice are palatable) to pull the fluid into the stool and keep what’s to come soft. Make sure you are drinking loads to keep hydrated too.
If this carries on do ask to see the gynae nurses. Scar tissue can cause tightness and loss of elasticity which you obviously need to poo. You can have injections in the scar tissue to release this if needed.
Also, get someone to take baby out so you have lots of time and privacy. If you’re tense listening to baby cry or rushing it’ll make it worse.

stairgates · 12/10/2021 10:07

Bran flakes daily will make sure all stalls are very soft. Sorry you are going through this x

Theraindropss · 12/10/2021 10:09

Can’t believe that is all your doctor has given you ffs!! You need a cream not just laxatives! They did this while I was pregnant. This happened to me and it was worse than giving birth (I had fissure though not 4th degree tear). Demand something from your doctor ASAP or go straight to the pharmacist who may be able to help.

There is also an over the counter one I used to get on Amazon which was very good. Think it was called germaloids. It’s for haemorrhoids but would probably help in your situation too.

OperationDessertStorm · 12/10/2021 10:29

Maybe try something to prop your feet up a bit - apparently the crouching is more ergonomic.

CouldWeStartAgainPlease · 12/10/2021 10:35

I really feel for you.

I found Lactulose did absolutely nothing whatsoever for me after my first 2 sections. This time I have been taking Fybogel and so far that seems to have worked.

hairybakers · 12/10/2021 11:03

Listen. If you think doing a poo in the bath is going to help just lock the door and do a poo in the damn bath!
Fish it out and clean the bath verrrry well after and no one will ever have to know. We won't tell a soul!

FlowerySusan · 12/10/2021 11:05

Another vote for glycerin suppositories. I get them on Amazon .
They literally changed my life .

pinkgin85 · 12/10/2021 11:07

Glycerin suppositories for sure because until you get the blockage out the movicol/lactulose etc won't make a difference!

dunkaccino · 12/10/2021 11:09

I have no idea if this is possible or advisable in your condition, but my 4 yr old found crouching in a warm bath as deep as possible helped him to go. Was easier than you think to clean up with a muslin in a sieve.

Ciderisrosier · 12/10/2021 11:10

Use a small step stool under your feet. It helps straighten your rectum might be easier to help it out. I had a 3C tear but the opposite problem in that it was diarrhoea so I could never hold it in. Recovery from severe tears is hard. Hope you find the suppositories work x

lazydaisycrazy · 12/10/2021 11:21

I'm really sorry to hear this, having suffered a 4th degree tear myself. Lactulose doesn't work well for everyone and there are good alternatives. Laxido is very good. Definitely speak to a GP right away. At this point suppositories will probably be needed too. Hope you feel better soon.

PineappleSun · 13/10/2021 13:33

OK gross but having my first poo standing up worked for me, I couldn't sit on the toilet for that long and found that sitting just put all the pressure in the wrong place. I just stood over the toilet, might help.

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