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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

4th degree tear making me ball like a child

40 replies

alltheeights · 11/10/2021 22:34

The pain I get from my tear when I go for a number two is extremely painful and gives me so many "flashbacks" it's literally like giving birth all over again.

I was given lactulose after birth but it hasn't worked, I have only just passed my second stool in 20 days and it was absolute agony, took an hour to get out and caused bleeding.

I use spritz for bits and hold a gauze over my perineum to prevent pressure, I put my feet higher and I don't "push" or strain as such everything I have tried has failed to help.

My doctor has prescribed another laxative that may work better as the need to poo is there but I can't physically get it out.

Any advice how to not absolutely break down in tears and prevent pain whilst pooping? It's really getting me down

OP posts:

CaramelWaferAndTea · 13/10/2021 13:40

Have you considered going back to the postnatal unit for help? It’s a serious tear, you may need an enema if what’s stuck is very big :(

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 13/10/2021 13:42

You need movical.

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 13/10/2021 13:43

movical have stopped the need for enemas in a lot of cases.

MerryMarigold · 13/10/2021 13:45

20 days is much too long to only have 2 poos, maybe time for a much stronger laxative. I had this too after a forceps birth. I used to bite down on a wooden spoon when I had a poo! It took several months to stop bleeding and even longer to stop hurting. However, I didn't have any longer term issues which is great. Sorry it's not better news but my baby was worth it and he's now nearly 16! I have to say, second time around I had twins and a c-section. Healing from a c-section was like a dream compared to the tearing, I hardly noticed it! I would definitely request a c section next time.

rainbowdaz · 13/10/2021 13:52

Wow this is awful.

I remember the pain after a second degree tear, natural birth.

Lactulose will do fuck all. You need proper laxatives that you put In your drink etc. They work really well. Maybe some codeine for the pain?

It really is horrible, I remember it being like shitting glass. Worse than the birth itself.

Newmummyinlockdown · 13/10/2021 14:02

I have just recovered from this exact situation. I was told to buy Fleet Enemas (you can buy them on Amazon Prime) by the midwife on call - work within five minutes and really easy to use. I cannot tell you the relief afterwards. And then just try to prevent the constipation afterwards.

Original poster

alltheeights · 13/10/2021 15:51

Hello all!

Thank you so much for all the advice! The pain got so bad and had the worst stomach cramps and could barely move all day yesterday.

I called 111 who passed to ambulance service, the called and advised to go to a&e as it had been near on 25 days after working it out. They did an X-ray and confirmed I was far too blocked up to keep at laxatives.

They popped me on a drip (no idea what was in it, and didn't care at this point) and popped a suppository up there.

Few hours later I needed to go wee and my stomach cramped so much I couldn't hold off straining my body just went into birth mode for a poo 😂

Anyway some extreme pain later I passed the biggest poop in my life....omg it was painful but the relief after was magical!

So although the suppository didn't really work because my body had other ideas it obviously softened it enough to get through!

I have laxido now to keep the rest of my movements softer so hopefully they work!

I can't wait to be heeled and poo like a normal person haha

OP posts:

mrssunshinexxx · 14/10/2021 22:21

@alltheeights so glad you have been seen and had some relief I hope your recovery is smooth and fast now. I hope you don't mind me asking but do you know why you suffered a 4th degree tear I thought they were quite rare / did you have a big baby ? I'm due in 3 weeks and this thread has terrified me

Gettingusedtothelimelight · 14/10/2021 22:36

@alltheeights

That's exactly how the suppository works.

Well done!!

jclm · 14/10/2021 22:43

@timeisnotaline

You poor thing. I remember the misery of a 3b tear so can’t imagine! I was swilling lactulose several times a day plus a fybogel sachet, and needed a glycerine suppository at the worst bit, which was about a week pp I think. I made dh take baby and leave the house and I lay on the bathroom floor while it was taking effect, it was awful. On top of the lactulose and fybogel I drank lots of water, coffee in normal quantities as that does contribute, had multigrain toast or weetbix in the morning and tried to eat a reasonable amount of fruit and veg. Basically all the fibre water and veg for good stool quality plus a decent amount of aid with the lactulose and fybogel. Prune juice can’t hurt either. Are you taking iron? If so I’d switch that to the spatone, as it’s constipating. And don’t take it at the same time as wheat, tea, coffee.

This is great advice :-)

Another thing to say that you may be unintentionally withholding...

A stimulant eg senna could help with getting the poo out. Once you're back in the swing of going every day it will get much easier to get it out. If you can, aim for 20 mins after breakfast.

Mellowfruitfulnessy · 14/10/2021 22:48

Another fan of glycerine suppositories. It’s bish bosh. Five minutes and out. I wouldn’t be without them now. Never any need to suffer with constipation with these little torpedoes!

ISeeTheLight · 14/10/2021 22:53

I also recommend asking your GP to prescribe movicol. You may need a few sachets a day at first to soften the impacted stool.

Original poster

alltheeights · 15/10/2021 00:10

[quote mrssunshinexxx]@alltheeights so glad you have been seen and had some relief I hope your recovery is smooth and fast now. I hope you don't mind me asking but do you know why you suffered a 4th degree tear I thought they were quite rare / did you have a big baby ? I'm due in 3 weeks and this thread has terrified me [/quote]
@mrssunshinexxx
A 4th degree is rare so please don't worry!

My baby was only 7.6lbs, she did have a reasonable size head but it was mostly down to the size of me "down there" I was well aware before hand I was at greater risk and the midwife did warn me the risk of a episiotomy/tear is likely (they struggled to examine me most of the time)

They were ready to do an episiotomy but unfortunately just as she turned to get the scalpel my body pushed her out before she turned back round.

Usually they will cut before the point of tear (all under anaesthetic and if you have epidural you won't feel a thing, I didn't even feel my tear at the point to be fair) which is then stitched up bed side rather than surgery and the healing process is much much better.

I would highly recommend perineum massage anyway, which will make it less likely also

I wish you all the best for the birth of your little one, please don't let my post worry you! Even I wouldn't change a thing about delivery as it was part of my journey to my little one xxx

OP posts:

mrssunshinexxx · 15/10/2021 07:31

@alltheeights thank you xx

TheCheeseBadge · 16/10/2021 09:28

Hi OP,

So glad you managed to get the "backlog" cleared. I had a 4th degree tear almost 4 years ago and I remember the pooing as being the worst bit.

I agree with all the advice from PP, but also just wanted to say if you're on Facebook, have a look at the "4th Degree Tear Support Group". It's a private group and the ladies in there are all really knowledgeable and experienced, it really helps me even now (no lasting symptoms but I'm pregnant with 2nd child).

Hope you continue healing well.

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