Epidural ?

[firstimer91]

So I am due to give birth in the next 3 weeks and was quite adamant that I would avoid epidural unless absolutely necessary.

Then at a family gathering today, an opinionated aunt said I am being silly, if the pain reliefs there I should take it and if I resist I can become tired and the baby stressed.

I also said I was thinking of water birth to which she just laughed.

It has shaken me up a bit... any opinions?

Thanks

I don't think anyone has an epidural unless absolutely necessary, do they? You'll either be begging for one or you won't. My first birth was a two day hell-fest. I had to wait hours for my epidural but it was wonderful when it came. I had been lost in pain.

I had one both times. First time I was induced with the drop ascwaters broken 48 hours, second I just couldn’t hack it. I have no regrets or shame but sneezing them out in a pool would have been great too. Both plans are a wish list-just see what happens and how you feel when the time comes.

Agree with pp and think that most people would only have an epidural if really necessary.

I never had much of a birth plan other than take it as it comes. Would have liked a water birth, didn't work out that way and midwife eventually convinced me to have an epidural after days of a back to back Labour. Everyone copes differently & remember there are no hero's for doing it without pain relief, if you need it.

It might not have been an ideal but would have one again in a minute if needed to get the baby out safely.

Try to keep as relaxed as you can, and if things don't go to plan try not to stress to much about it. Good luck

All births are different and there are pros and cons to both.

The risk of tearing can be worse with an epidural.

I asked for one but there wasn't time, it was a painful delivery but I recovered quickly and was home the same day.

I didn't want one, and didn't have one. 49 hour labour, all sorts going on. But for me it was something I really really didn't want.
I am firmly of the view you'll get the best outcomes if you do what feels right to you. You have to believe in what you're doing, not do it just because you feel you ought either which way.
Plenty of women don't, and plenty do.
And to my mind it's really out of order to undermine the choices of any mother three weeks before due!
Hope it all goes as you hope

Ignore and keep an open mind. I was told I would be screaming for an epidural, turns out it wasn't anywhere near as bad as expected and I didn't want anything.

If you want one that's fine, and not having one is also fine. You need to do whatever gives you the best birth experience for you.

Best thing in childbirth is to keep an open mind about options. I was induced and survived on Gas and Air plus a dose of Diamorphine - before I knew it I was 8cm and it's too late by then.
Keeping calm is best painkiller as you can relax and listen to what body says.

Now I have had five lumbar punctures in the last year and I won't lie they do hurt going in and it's a weird feeling of they hit bone or a nerve but sometimes it doesn't work first time and in labour it's a matter of time if something is needed or wanted done.

So, if you are going for water birth then You won't be allowed to stay in midwife led unit or the water if EP is wanted (my area experience only but makes sense for elsewhere too!)

If you go for a visit to local unit you may get to try the Entenox (we did and it was funny).

Make your own decisions about this, no right or wrong.

All my sisters had epidurals, for every birth (9 kids in total). I remember one had some side effects- a horrific headache that lasted a week and couldn’t be controlled by meds. When I was pregnant I read about the increased risk of interventions due to being unable to move around. Granted I know this is contentious, as a lot of people have epidurals after long, difficult and painful labour- less so for quicker, more manageable labours. I decided I didn’t want an epidural if I could avoid it. I wanted to move around and feel in control, for these reasons. My whole extended family thought I was silly. When I actually managed it, they thought I was amazing to cope.

Truth is everything was easy enough that I never for a second wanted one. The pain was manageable for me. I liked moving around and in my case an epidural would have 100% resulted in interventions that I was able to avoid by not having one. (DD was back to back and turned while pushing in positions the midwife said to use to turn her. Otherwise it would have been forceps). Saying this, I would have had one and not felt guilty about it if I decided I needed it.

Don’t let other people tell you what you need. You will know! You might be fine. You might decide you want one. It’s all up to what makes you comfortable and results in the safe delivery of your baby.

I recently gave birth to my baby that turned out to be back-to-back without an epidural OP. (As he's my first I had no idea what labour pain was "supposed" to be like, so although it was very painful and in my back I didn't click! I'd always said I didn't want an epidural and I ended up on the cons unit where there was only one pool and the midwives kept saying they'd try and get me in there as I was desperate for a water birth but alas the room never became free. I think in the moment you'll know what you want and what's best for you. I'm an absolute wuss when it comes to pain but I'm also ridiculously stubborn so I think in my labour-y state I decided that I just wasn't going to have one and that was that! 🙈

If it goes to induction via drip I think it is common sense to have one. Mine broke and had to be put in again and the 3hr wait for an aesthetist was horriffic.

Agree with the previous posters. Just keep an open mind. I wanted a water birth too but things didn't go to plan. I wanted only natural births but both times I ended up with epidural and c sections.
Just go with the flow and do what makes you happy at the time.
I will say the injection in the leg sorry can't remember what it was called made me feel so drugged up it was horrible. Gas and air was amazing though.

I had an epidural at 2cm id had enough of horrendous contractions that weren't doing anything, and wanted an epidural before they came near me with the drip to speed things up!

I couldn't do it without one tbh, but some people do. You've never felt anything like it before it happens so it's just impossible to know what you'll need or how you'll cope in advance really. Your aunt needs to mind her own business. But do keep an open mind and have the epidural if you need it, don't feel it's gone wrong just because it went differently than you imagined. And remember nobody's handing out medals on the way out!

It's a personal choice surely? Like with anything to do with birth etc. You might decide you want one when it comes to it or you might be fine without. Best thing to do is keep an open mind and go with the flow in my opinion.

There are lots of good reasons to hold out on having an epidural as long as you can. You can’t move around with an epidural, which makes labouring harder and slower. Also epidurals tend to slow labours down in general and so lead to higher chances of further interventions.

I had a 2 day labour where everything went badly. I had an epidural because the baby was turning the wrong way and the pain was too much after such a long labour.

It might be worth finding out what sort of epidural your hospital offer. Mine offered mobile epidurals, which meant I had complete feeling in my legs/feet and could walk around quite happily (moving the bag of meds around with me) and completely painlessly.

Just take what you need as you need it. I had had three days of back Labour before o got my epidural - I needed it and it was absolutely wonderful.

Well before I had a baby, I would have agreed with you. Now I've had one, I'd take any and every drug available next time including an epidural. I didn't actually have an epidural but I honestly wish I had. For me, the pain was severe. That said, I have a few friends who didn't have epidurals and found the pain manageable with other techniques (I am clearly a wuss, haha!). I would say don't discount it - you may find you need it.

I've had both epidural-supported birth and water birth. What I wanted each time was water birth. But I kept an open mind about it all, was a bit disappointed not to get my waterbirth, but felt no shame or disappointment at choosing to have an epidural. It was the right thing to do at the time.

Giving birth is not a competition, not even with yourself. Even if you have a caesarian, you are still the one who gave birth - everyone and everything else was there to support you. You use the support you need at the time.

I had an epidural for DC1. It was a long labour (20 hours from 5cm dilated to birth) and the pain relief from the epidural was absolute bliss!

DC2 and DC3 were much quicker births so I didn't need an epidural.

Op, this is the start of people, mostly older relatives telling you that you are wrong.
Anything from the birth plan to weaning to which school, someone will know better.
This is your baby, you have seniority, so do your research, talk to your midwife or doctor and then make up your own mind. You can always change your mind later on.
Advice is usually well meant, so just smile sweetly, nod and then do what YOU want to.

As per a PP, I had a "walking" epidural. I had a back to back labour and it really took the edge off the pain in my hips. They turned it right down at the end for me. In the end I could feel to push, birthed on all fours, had no interventions and had no tears.

So it's not always a guarantee of an instrument assisted birth on your back.

A friend told me I should try for a drug free birth for number 2 so I could "really experience" birth There are no prizes for giving birth without pain relief - do what you need to do to give birth as safely as possible for you and the baby

I'd be open minded to it. It's not an essential, but sometimes needs must.
You don't know how you'll feel about it until the day. I planned a water birth, but that wasn't an option for me on the day.

I was in labour for 26 hours, not dialating, and having contractions every minute. I relented and got an epidural when a midwife suggest it was for the best for the 6th time in two hours because I was going to be too exhausted to push the way I was going.

As it goes, she was right. I was in labour for 41 hours. I was very anti epidural, but it was great being able to have one when I needed it. You don't know how it'll work out. I think it's next to go in relaxed, with as few expectations as possible so you don end up disappointed.

Agree with pp, develop your thick skin now. It's infuriating to have older relatives (dm and both pil in my case!) look all smug while telling you want to do with the implication that you're a child who knows nothing.

However nothing is better than proving them wrong

Of course people have epidurals that are not "absolutely necessary". For my second baby, I had an epidural before I even felt any pain. Even less than completely agonising pain is something I want to avoid.

OP I would say keep a completely open mind. Labour is painful, very often severely painful. There is no benefit to anybody from you choosing to experience all of that pain.

You won't know how you will feel in labour until you experience it, and even then your first labour isn't necessarily going to be the same as your second. I am a huge advocate of ready availability of epidurals as a feminist issue. I am deeply suspicious of narratives that glorify women's pain.

Talk to your doctor about the pain options and side effects etc. and once you are fully informed, then you can make the best possible choice for you on the day.

I always recommend the blogger The Adequate Mother for great info about epidurals - she's an anasthetist and writes very clearly and well.

Best wishes.

Canwejustrelaxnow
I was the same the second one was a doddle.
If you haven't had a child yet don't rule out the pain relief. You might be begging for it. Maybe your opinionated auntie talking from experience.