Epidural ?

[firstimer91]

So I am due to give birth in the next 3 weeks and was quite adamant that I would avoid epidural unless absolutely necessary.

Then at a family gathering today, an opinionated aunt said I am being silly, if the pain reliefs there I should take it and if I resist I can become tired and the baby stressed.

I also said I was thinking of water birth to which she just laughed.

It has shaken me up a bit... any opinions?

Thanks

@gummygoddess good to know...I'm.sure she would recoil in horror at my beautiful drug free home birth 5 weeks ago then!

@Namechangemum100 and mine with DC1! And hopefully also with DC2 in a few days.

OP, I hope this thread had made you feel better! I had an epidural (wasn't part of the plan but I very much needed it!), but I know plenty of people who've given birth just on two paracetamol. Everyone's experience is different and there's no reason to assume you'll need an epidural (surely most women don't have one??).

I have always on these pages advocated for full free choice for women. But choice can only be free if it is informed. So i have never said women should not be allowed choose home birth or choose a section or choose any birthing option they like. What I question is the false assertion that natural is better for all babies and for all mothers, because it definitely is not. We have tried all natural for most of human history. And it didn't work out so well for a lot of babies and a lot of mothers. There are still many places in the world today where all natural is your only choice. Birth is inherently dangerous; we can do a lot to address those dangers but it is false to pretend that it isn't. So I want to add my voice to the debate to ensure people are making informed choices. It's a sign of a pretty weak argument to misrepresent my views and to ascribe things to me in order to dismiss me.

My mother said "you go into hospital and ask for the epidural immediately"
When I told her that I had read up on epidurals and interventions and had chosen to not have one (as far as possible) she didn't quite roll her eyes at me but she probably did in her head

My labour was very manageable with gas and air, a tens machine and a hot shower.

Baby came out just fine and we were sent home the next day, 24 hours after I arrived in labour and about 18 hours after baby was born.

For me it was important to have the option of going home asap, to have the ability to walk around after the birth and to not have a catheter (urgh the thoughts of it!)

There was no point in my labour where I thought "give me an epidural". It was totally do-able.

Keep your can-do approach and tell your aunt to piss off (in your head) people love scaring pregnant women and also love telling you how you're doing it wrong when baby arrives.

The statistics in the hospital I was at were (iirc) that 65% of ftm had an epidural. I would love to know how many of them had researched the Knock on effects to mother and baby, to establishing breast feeding etc. How many ftm who had educated themselves on the pros and cons of epidurals chose them would be an interesting comparison

Let me finish by saying if you need it, go for it. It's a perfectly acceptable option that had worked for many many women. But there's no need to get one the second you get through the hospital doors.

Best of luck!

The thing is a pool birth isn’t guaranteed. You could have complications, another mum might have pipped you to the post, or it might be closed for cleaning. What is your back up? If you can handle going with just gas and air then you will probably be fine - but epidurals need to be planned in advance for them to work effectively. A last minute epidural won’t always have time to work for the purpose it’s intended!

The thing to remember OP is that your birth will be personal to you - how long you are in labour, what position your baby is in are pretty much down to luck and genetics. What your pain threshold is like is something you won't find out until you actually go into labour. I wouldn't rule anything out - keep all your options open. And I wish people would stop talking about 'natural childbirth' as though if you you take advantage of pain relief that somehow doesn't count. No-one gives you a prize for suffering and your baby certainly won't be able to remember or care less how they came into the world. Fortunately for mothers today if you find the whole process intolerably painful there is something to help with that - and I think that's something we should all be grateful for.

Agree with everyone who said to keep an open mind. I also completely agree with making sure you are informed and that you do your research well in advance. If you are knowledgeable about the potential choices open to you and also that your own feelings are likely to change during the whole labour process, you will be less susceptible to the (hugely varying and often judgemental) views of others.

If you do this, you will know what is right for you when the time comes. There is absolutely no such thing as a 'best way' to give birth. It is all about what is best for you, your baby, and the particular circumstances of your birth experience.

Ignore the laughing and the snide comments. This is about you, not her issues - whatever they are!

sycamore54321 You may think that's what you're doing, but you are consistently extremely negative over someone wanting to give birth with minimal medical intervention. It isn't a balanced view as you give all the negative stats and none of the positive with minimal intervention and also play down the negative stats with medical intervention. You clearly do want to help people make the best decision for them but it's really unbalanced.

I would love to know how many of them had researched the Knock on effects to mother and baby, to establishing breast feeding etc. What effects? I was up and about after both of mine having a shower and breastfeeding (not at the same time). The knock effect for me was a relaxed labour so I could save my strength for the actual delivery. This meant when my baby arrived I wasn't completely exhausted and was ready for action rather than needing to go and have a lie down. This was standard practice in the hospital where I gave birth (twice).

How is my view any more unbalanced than the posters who said we are all making a big fuss over nothing and modern women are deluded into thinking they can't give birth without pain relief or intervention (paraphrasing)? My view is informed by evidence. And I have always said people should make whatever choice is right for them, but they should have all the facts to make the choice. I have said most births will be fine without intervention. Why do you see my post as unbalanced and why am I the only poster put under an obligation to be "balanced"? Is it because you don't like what I am saying? It is all true.

I didn't say the others were balanced either, I don't think most of them are.

I just think it's ridiculous for people to state absolutes, like "You will NEED an epidural or you'll be traumatised" or "If you don't do it without pain relief you're going to be a shit mother". Neither of those are true and you veer very close to saying that people won't cope without large amounts of intervention which sounds very scary to someone who hasn't given birth before. I would be equally unimpressed by someone who said that taking pain relief is a weakness and a disservice to their child because every single labour is different.

You are wilfully misreading my posts and I do not know why. I have said that for the vast majority of people, childbirth is an extremely painful experience. And I have advised people to inform themselves about the safe effective pain relief options so that when the moment comes, they can make an informed choice about whether to use them or not. I have said that childbirth practices without ready availability of interventions is much less safe than childbirth with access to and preventive use of interventions. I have said labour varies greatly for each person and for each delivery.

I'm not the one with fairy stories of how the pain is only because we watched a few two many actresses huffing and screaming in a soap opera.

First labour I was adamant I didn't want an epidural. As it goes, I didn't need one.

Second labour I started off a few weeks before thinking I'd just do the same as #1 And use tens and gas and air. I had a totally different labour and was glad i had an epidural.

So what I would suggest is be sure of what you want to try first. But don't write off any option. Be flexible about pain relief. Nobody gets a good star for sticking resolutely to a birth plan, but you absolutely can have an engaged labour experience even if you take pain relief that you originally might not have considered.

I had one with DC 1 but probably too late because I was ready to push by the time they'd got it in (difficult). I only had two paracetamol with DC2.

.... and had a second degree test both times.

My experience was something like this. I'd like a water birth and minimal intervention. Maybe some gas and air if I need it. The reality was a slow, painful labour from the outset. No gradual build up. I had loads of morphine, an epidural and a c section. If I was going to have another child (unlikely due to age) I'd opt for the latter. I'm no softy and I felt safe and fulfilled throughout. I just don't think there is any point in suffering if you don't have to.

I think the overall point though is to be open to whatever is required and accept the plan might change. Good luck x

I assure you Sycamore that I for one am not wilfully misreading your posts, I have read one too many of your posts to know exactly what I’m reading and I know an agenda when I see one. At the end of the day, there are medicalised labours which go very
Well and there are non medicalised
Labours which go very well. My own mother had all of her children without any drugs at all (and at home) now I’m not saying she’s a hero but I am saying she would disagree that it was an “extremely painful experience” - labour is subjective. I also would like
To point out your views are influenced by YOUR evidence, not necessarily evidence, there’s a difference. I speak for those of us who had a traumatic intervention-filled birth in a hospital doing everything the sycamore way -
For me it ended very badly. I’m not saying Home birth is always right or no interventions is always right but I’m saying each op should do her research, ask questions of her expert team and weigh up the risks and the facts as I have done. I came onto Mumsnet to learn about my options and you were one of the first people I encountered. I was terrified of what you said (that I was putting my babies life at risk) and that’s putting it politely! I now know after speaking to multiple midwives, other women in the same position and my consultant that I’m making the right decisions for me. As my consultant said - “don’t trust a nameless person on a forum who has been on there for years trying to scare others... you never know who you’re talking to!”

OP do your research and decide what you think will benefit you and baby the most. Then after you've decided keep in mind that you might completely change your mind during labour or something out of your control means you haven't much of a choice what happens.

I didn't want an epidural, done the research and decided I didn't want to take the risks and chose a birthing pool birthing plan. Without going into my scary birthing details, what I had planned didn't happen because of unpredictable circumstances but I am glad I still researched epidurals so I was aware of what was happening and wasn't surprised by the side-effects afterwards (one of which I am still living with now nearly a year on).

Thought I'd pop back to say that dc2 was born at home without a midwife as I didn't realise contractions were strong enough that I was about to deliver. I had been waiting for them to get stronger before getting into the pool. Dc2 is perfect and was delivered by DH when I suddenly realised it was too late.

I thought it would be relevant as it illustrates that each birth is different and you could find it totally manageable! If not then go for the epidural so that you have a positive experience, as that is the most important thing besides baby being OK.

Congratulations @gummygoddess... sounds like a wonderful birth.

In my country government pays for epidural only if medically needed. Women can choose it, but have to pay for it themselves. So, more woman manage without it.
Both my labors where without epidural. It was ok. First time I was angry not about the pain, but about the staff that insisted I had to lie down all the time and did not let me sit up during pushing. Second time I spend my money on good, (up tu date) educated midwife and everything was fine - water birth, no epidural.
Yes, labor is painful, but "can do it" and "doing it for my baby" attitude is very important - thats my "medal". :) Labor pain is meningful, every contraction brings your baby closer, opens you up more. Epidural can slow the process or even stop it, and then more interventions will be needed. And also exposing baby to anestetics.
I red somewhere that hygiene problems (helpers with dirty hands) was responsible for lot of mother/baby deaths in the past? Not all of them.

I didn't intend to have an epidural. I planned a water birth. In the end after 12.5 hours of labour with nothing but a TENS machine I arrived at hospital 6cms dilated and was asked about pain relief. I was still coping ok at that point but thought if I leave it any longer and I can't cope then it'll be too late to get anything so I asked for an epidural. Aneathatist arrived in 5 minutes and 20 mins later it was done. It was the best decision I made. From then on my labour was so chilled and relaxed with music and LED candles whilst I chatted to my midwives and partner. My baby boy arrived another 12 hours later in the middle of the 'Beast from the East' snowstorm.

Personally i knew an epidural would only ever be an absolute last resort for me. I knew I didn't want it,
And it's your choice. An needle in the base of your spine is a big deal. And most women can cope without it.
I didn't have it, and I won't be in the future.