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Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

C section views

40 replies

MunchkinJess · 22/08/2017 18:20

Why do people have such incredibly strong views about c sections ? Like why does it genuinely seem to cause such strong emotion whether it be good or bad ?

I am having my second planned section for various reasons and every time I mention i'm having a planned section the reaction is always a negative one . I feel I have to explain myself ( I no longer do )

I just don't understand why people feel so strongly either way .

Child birth is so personal to each individual and there is no wrong or right way to have your baby so it always boggles me why people feel so strongly about it .

OP posts:
JadeT2 · 22/08/2017 18:24

I only ever hear that people have strong views about them on forums or news articles. Noone in real life has ever expressed negative opinions on sections towards me. I had a to have an emergency one and was a bit gutted, but purely because of the recovery time. I'm now pregnant again and planning a second one because I don't want an emergency again.

DuggeeHugs · 22/08/2017 23:55

I've had an EMCS and an ELCS and have come across some negative views irl. I think there are a lot of misconceptions about having a CS. I was told by one woman that I couldn't have bonded or breastfed properly as my DC was born via EMCS. This was completely untrue but they had bought so heavily into the idea that a non-intervention, non-pain relief birth was the optimal for everyone that they refused to believe a CS could be anything but negative. Some people also still believe the too posh to push rhetoric - generally I think they're people who haven't really thought it through, it's just a catchy phrase.

Personally, you couldn't pay me enough to attempt a VB after my experiences, but that doesn't mean I'd expect or encourage all/any other women to want a CS or suggest they've somehow failed if they don't. I just wish other folk would show the same consideration to those who have a CS.

NurseMama · 23/08/2017 01:51

From my POV as a nurse, the only reason my colleagues and I ever have less than positive feelings about them is due to the increased blood loss, risk of arrest, subsequent infection/sepsis - and then only if the mum-to-be's reason(s) for wanting the section are less threatening than the procedure itself. Protecting patients from harm is the priority, so if we see someone putting themselves in harm's way without due cause, it's hard to be happy about it. This doesn't mean we don't support the women. Any nurse or midwife who behaves rudely toward a woman who decides to have an elective section is out of order. If a woman understands that she's in more danger having the section but still wants it anyway, then that's that and the only thing to do is our very best to guide her through that process as well as possible.

As a mum myself and currently pregnant with DC2 after a previous traumatic birth, I totally get the appeal of an elective section with or without there being any risk for having a vaginal delivery.

anniebambammie · 23/08/2017 14:06

Gosh I couldn't agree more- I don't understand why some people care so much about other people's choices!

GreenHillsRolling · 23/08/2017 23:42

If they care how someone else is giving birth it says more to me about their own experience. I honestly think some women are jealous. Maybe they've had a traumatic vaginal birth or struggled with the pain of labour or had bad tears or pph or maybe they were just unhappy with their experience and then they hear of someone having and elcs and think that persons going to have it so much easier and they get jealous. Otherwise why would they care what someone else does?

babynelly2010 · 24/08/2017 09:14

I don't know. I had 2 v birth, one good and one traumatic and then 3rd one was emcs. I'll choose cs any day although I didn't always feel that way.
I agree about jealousy but cs is not a walk in the park. It is just an alternative way of having a baby.

mimiholls · 24/08/2017 19:52

I think there might be a certain element of jealousy too. The number of people that have said to me they wish they'd had a section when I've said I had one has been the main reaction for me. Having said that, I've not really experienced any judgement about my decision.

Leebee11 · 24/08/2017 20:16

I don't know either, I've had two the first an emergency section and the second and planned section. I felt after the first why try for a natural birth to maybe ended up having section again. My first nothing really happened once I got to 6cm it went on for what felt like days then my leg swelled up from a blood cot so then came my emergency section. So I really didn't want to risk that again. So even after all that I had a few people at work say are you disappointed/feel cheated for not giving birth to which my answer is absolutely not I'm thankful for my gorgeous children and lucky to be alive.
Nowt as queer as folk! As the saying goes

madja · 24/08/2017 20:23

I had an emergency C-section and although it wasn't what I wanted, it was absolutely necessary.
I've been accused of all sorts in real life. Being too scared to push, that I have been robbed of a proper experience, that I couldn't have bonded with my baby, and that I hadn't done it properly. Awful stuff.

Original poster
MunchkinJess · 24/08/2017 21:43

I had a planned section the first time and was booked in at 5 months . As soon as my dad found out he said " oh too posh to push are we" he thought he was being funny but I didn't find it amusing in the slightest !

I don't feel cheated or upset by my planned section .

I am now having a second planned section and the way some of the hospital staff have spoken to me and treated me is pretty shocking Without really find out the reason etc , not that I should have to justify or explain myself.

Even the midwife who is covering for my usual midwife has been pretty awful ...

I just don't get the judgement

OP posts:
DuggeeHugs · 24/08/2017 22:14

I'm sorry you're getting a hard time from staff. Hopefully the recently announced policy move away from 'natural birth is best' will start to quell these attitudes a bit.

The RCOG announced in 2016 that they want women to be given the same risk information for VB as they are for CS, in order to help them make the best choice for their delivery: www.newscientist.com/article/mg23130813-000-uk-doctors-may-starting-warning-women-of-childbirth-risks/

It seems to have been held back by the strongly pro-VB policy mentioned above. Hopefully if this highlighting of risk does go ahead it might help people realise that your delivery choice isn't random and has nothing to do with taking 'an easy option'. Then we can all just get on with giving birth using the method which is best based on our own circumstances without being made to feel the need to justify that choice to every Tom, Dick and Harry with an opinion

and breathe

Poppet1308 · 24/08/2017 23:02

I recently had an emergency c section and have been so surprised by people's attitude that it is the easy way out! I don't know about anyone else but there was nothing easy about my section, after a long failed induction the prospect of surgery was terrifying. Then there is the recovery, which in my case resulted in a fairly bad infection in my wound.

At the end of the day, whether by c section or not as long as you deliver a healthy baby, what does it matter. It's an amazing thing no matter how you get there.

PacificDogwod · 24/08/2017 23:04

No, I don't get it either

I put it down to ignorance, rather than ill-will though mostly.

I don't get why anybody should care who anybody else delivers?

Duck/back.

PacificDogwod · 24/08/2017 23:05

how

...how anybody else delivers?

Sorry Blush

anniebambammie · 25/08/2017 02:59

I don't understand the jealousy aspect at all, surely that's not a thing?! I feel like the worst judgment comes from the people who really would hate having a c section and it's more of a like 'but don't you want to at least TRY and do it the RIGHT way?!' More like just a complete lack of understanding rather than jealousy, in my experience (of two things- that a lot of sections are necessary and unavoidable, and that regardless, it's my choice!)
My favourite is people who act like or categorically say that they will never have a c section (and I don't just mean elective I mean in general). As if there's a bunch of us who just didn't fight the good fight hard enough Grin

SenatorBunghole · 26/08/2017 13:24

From my POV as a nurse, the only reason my colleagues and I ever have less than positive feelings about them is due to the increased blood loss, risk of arrest, subsequent infection/sepsis - and then only if the mum-to-be's reason(s) for wanting the section are less threatening than the procedure itself. Protecting patients from harm is the priority, so if we see someone putting themselves in harm's way without due cause, it's hard to be happy about it.

And yet you seem to acknowledge later in the post that there are risks inherent in attempting VB too. You might just as easily be unhappy that a woman attempting a VB increases her risk of experiencing shoulder dystocia and severe tearing! I mean, anyone giving birth any way is putting herself in harm's way. You only get to choose which set of risks are more acceptable to you.

jammydodgersplease · 26/08/2017 13:48

I feel that the language used around birth- which I know is currently being reviewed- is to blame. I have had a 'planned' section due to breach- this was followed by PPH and a general anaesthetic in the hours after. My second was an 'emergency' section after 'failed' induction and pain in my scar area. I'm booked in for a further section this week and I HATE when people ask me about how this baby will be born. It brings out some really raw emotion in me partly because I feel that I have 'failed' to do what women are made to do. Other women (mostly once they've had a few drinks) have definitely contributed to this with statements such as ' it's a right of passage' to give birth and it 'makes you as a woman' to have a VB. I believe that I will continue to struggle with this- mention c sections to people and they believe you are taking the 'easy option'. The way that childbirth in general is discussed in both the media and in medical terms needs to change before attitudes have a chance.

PacificDogwod · 26/08/2017 14:53

I agree re the language.

I think it would to remind us all that pregnancy and childbirth is inherently dangerous and while it is a perfectly 'natural' thing to go through it is not necessarily easy or safe.

In a 'failed induction' it was the induction that failed, not the woman.

Having a vagina and XX chromosomes makes you a woman, not how or whether you give birth.
People do talk such shite sometimes Hmm

IndianaMoleWoman · 26/08/2017 15:25

I don't know if it's a British thing but there's an obsession with judging literally everything that other people do, even if it has zero impact on them.

Someone I know had a baby three weeks ago, went into labour naturally and no drugs. I know this because she was boasting about it on Facebook within the hour of the birth. She got dozens of messages complimenting her for doing it "naturally." People think that it's a badge of honour; it's just luck. I really don't understand people feeling proud of things that they have no choice in, but the attitude is so prevalent in our society.

Vinorosso74 · 26/08/2017 15:38

I don't see why. Some people just like to think they're "better" than others which they're not. They all gave birth which is only the beginning of being a parent and method of delivery doesn't influence your ability as a parent!
C-sections are done to ensure the safety of both the mother and the baby and if they didn't then one or both would die. There are so many reasons women have a c-section and it's what is best and safest for them.

SheepyFun · 26/08/2017 16:09

I feel very strongly that c-sections should be possible and available for all women - I lived in the developing world for a while, and met too many women who'd lost babies because they couldn't get to hospital in time. And others who'd lost their wife/mother/sister etc. Access to good medical care is lifesaving.

But as to whether a woman has a c-section or delivers vaginally, surely the aim is to have a healthy baby and healthy mother? Not the experience of birth itself? I guess my time in the developing world might have shaped my view on this one, just a little bit...

NataliaOsipova · 26/08/2017 16:12

I don't know if it's a British thing but there's an obsession with judging literally everything that other people do, even if it has zero impact on them.

There's a grain of truth in this. And I think that the rise of social media etc has made it worse because the prying and judging is now done openly, rather than just as tittle tattle between friends (which has gone on since time immemorial).

jammydodgersplease · 26/08/2017 20:19

pacific you are of course right, my rational head is very aware of it! My pregnant emotional head however .... 😬!

manglethedangle · 27/08/2017 09:28

Because people are dicks. And we've been socialised to believe women that don't have natural births are somehow less womanly.

ememem84 · 27/08/2017 10:10

I'm currently 35 weeks.

My midwife told me they don't give out medals for a no drug natural vaginal birth. No one likes a smug hero. Dh told me to do whatever I'm comfortable with - ie drugs/no drugs/ he'll support my decision but will step in to make suggestions if he can see I can't cope with eg no drugs.

I'm of the opinion that I don't want a cs based on potentially longer recovery times etc. But if it ends up being that way then all I really care about is that baby boy arrives safe and healthy and I'm ok.

I haven't opted for a cs because personally I don't think electinng for major surgery is the best thing for me. The only reason I could think of for choosing one is that you know when it's happening. So can plan around it.

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