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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

if you did hypnobirthing did the midwives believe you that you were in labor or how did you convince them?

44 replies

lighteningmcmama · 14/10/2014 21:34

I had dc3 last week. I'm not really ready to share my full birth story but one thing that I can't shake off is that the midwives didn't believe I was in labor. That is imo a big factor in leading to the complications I had during birth. According to my notes my total labor was 10minutes!! Yes it was quick but it was more like around 5 hours or so, but the midwives only believed me
10 minutes before dd arrived and she was born in triage/overnight antenatal ward...

So I was just wondering what your experience was if you did hypnobirthing? I think midwives still expect you to scream and if you're not making noise they think you can't be that advanced.

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MsBug · 14/10/2014 21:37

Yup - I was on the ward and told that I needed a drip to get contractions going...except they examined me and I was actually fully dilated

In my case it didn't matter as dd was doing fine in there.

OddBoots · 14/10/2014 21:40

I'm sorry this happened to you.

I know this is not normal but the first time I had this happen I convinced them because I checked my own cervix (in privacy in the toilet) and could tell them that it was about 8cm dilated. The following three times it was already in my notes that I 'float' through labour so they believed me.

Original poster

lighteningmcmama · 14/10/2014 22:00

Thank you both.

I did tell them dc2 was born within an hour of me getting to hospital, and also given that this was my third baby it's more likely to be quick plus I know what I'm talking about if I've done it before, but they still kept saying you're not in labor, you're not in labor...

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devoncreamtea · 14/10/2014 22:30

bloody hell, does it really work like that? I have been very calm in labour - but my mooing has left no doubt!

devoncreamtea · 14/10/2014 22:31

never used hypnobirthing I should say

Original poster

lighteningmcmama · 14/10/2014 23:22

I was silent. No mooing (not that I am saying anything about mooing, you do whatever works!). I only made noise at the end when I realised maybe it will get me some attention. I'm quite angry about it all tbh

OP posts:

Kantha · 14/10/2014 23:37

I hope the complications weren't too serious OP.

Yes I had something similar happen with DC2. The problem was made worse that it was a VBAC, so I think there was an expectation that I may not progress well and that I would require lots of intervention and pain relief.

For example...
They were reluctant to examine me to see if I was in active labour because I hadn't asked for pain relief. Turns out I was 5-6cm.
At transition I told MW that I could feel a ring of pain, this was a "positive sign" apparently.
The baby crowned 15 mins later without the MW even watching, cue a big flurry of activity and low level flapping.

I saw my notes afterwards which said, "Mother delivered baby silently."

DC3 due in a few weeks and I have tried to prepare for this my writing in my birth plan that I was very quiet last time and would like them to take me seriously even if I am not screaming my head off. In particular I would like the head to crown more slowly with the mw's guidance and hopefully avoid tearing.

Of course I am now worrying that this delivery will be completely different and I will be back to screaming and look like a fraud

NB: that's not I say that DC2's birth didn't hurt (it did), but I didn't feel the need to shout about it.

devoncreamtea · 15/10/2014 09:50

wow. why on earth would an mw refuse to check you? madness - they usually can't get enough of the furtling! really hope it works out better for you this time.

CordeliaScott · 15/10/2014 10:04

I had something similar when I turned up at the hospital last month. The midwives took ages to actually examine me and suggested that I would probably be sent home, presumably as I could hold a conversation whilst having contractions. They hooked me up to a machine and were surprised that my contractions were every 3 minutes (despite me actually telling them this) and that I was 5cm dilated. At this point they very kindly offered to let me stay.

Saying that the midwife also didn't seem to believe that I was ready to push until examining me as "women don't progress that quick". Well I did! I think the important thing to remember is that you know your body better than a midwife and to insist they listen to you

MsBug · 15/10/2014 10:17

Devon I had my waters break at the start of labour and the midwives didn't want to examine me too often as it increases the risk of infection. I was quite happy about this as mainly I just wanted to be left alone. I didn't feel that knowing how dilated I was would help me in any way. Although on reflection it might have been nicer to labour in a private room rather than on the ward..

biscuitsandbandages · 15/10/2014 10:21

I haven't used hypnobirthing but am naturally very calm, composed and private in labour as I go feral and prefer a dark corner with just dh for support.

Im 3 for 3 with midwives not believing I was in active labour until I hit transition and become stroppy cow who moos and tells them to get the delivery kit.

TheWanderingUterus · 15/10/2014 10:29

First labour i called the hospital four times over 17 hours asking to come in and be checked. When they eventually and reluctantly agreed I was 8 centimetres dilated.

Second time around was a homebirth. I had to point out to the midwives who were sitting at the table drinking tea and reading my notes, that I had just delivered DS's head.

biscuitsandbandages · 15/10/2014 10:37

Rather frustrating as had 'doctor' and 'precipitate labours' on the front of my notes after the first one and they still didnt believe me. They did offer to examine me but would only do it with me lying on my back and you wont get me off all 4s without brute force at that stage.

Original poster

lighteningmcmama · 15/10/2014 11:13

Yes they wanted me to get back on bed but weren't understanding enough to realise I didn't want to give birth lying down..in birth centre for dd1 when they were telling me to get on the bed because I was 10cm they realised I would only do so if I could be upright as I was on the floor, so they got a bean bag on the bed and helped me Len forward on that. But just think only birth centre midwives think outside the box like that.

I know one thing would have helped would be if I had a hard copy of my birth plan, I had only written it the week before and it was only accessible on my phone.

OP posts:

Acorncat · 16/10/2014 17:54

I did hypnobirthing but didn't feel I was actually using it in labour. Saying that, when I got into the birth centre the midwife told me she wouldn't examine me as my waters had gone. She told me to relax and watch the tv, as I may only be a couple of cms. I presumed she based this on the fact I was calmly standing having contractions. Fortunately another MW came in and decided to examine me - I was fully dilated and was already pushing but I just didn't realise it!! If that other MW hadn't come in I would have literally given birth fully dressed or sitting on the toilet thought I needed a poo but was actually baby

qumquat · 16/10/2014 18:52

I didn't use hypno birthing but used the techniques from Juju Sundin. The midwives kept telling me to stay at home them when I finally got to hospital I was left in a corridor for half an hour and only finally admitted when 9 cm. I am bitter about it too.

LynetteScavo · 16/10/2014 19:09

Yes, but it was 11 years ago, and I had hoped things had moved on since then.

Really sorry to hear about peoples experiences on this thread.

I would like to add, that the midwife at my home birth did seem to believe me, but no enough to phone for the second midwife.

Bicnod · 16/10/2014 19:26

Yes. With DS1DS1 they reluctantly let me come in, sat me on bed for half an hour with monitor strapped to belly then said I could go home until in active labour. I begged them to check how far along I was and they were very shocked to discover I was 8cm.

With DS2 they wouldn't let me into delivery suite as room apparently wasn't ready and I clearly wasn't in active labour. I went through transition in reception and the lady on the desk insisted they come get me. DS was born 10 mins later.

With DS3 I'm planning a home birth. Hoping for a better experience this time around.

Bicnod · 16/10/2014 19:27

Sorry, should say DC3, don't know which I'm having but appear to be assuming a boy!

PickledSprout · 16/10/2014 19:27

What hypnobirthing did you all do?

I listened to a CD with DD and progressed quiet quickly and relatively calmly. Got a bit complicated at the end as she got stuck! Hey ho!

Was thinking of going for sessions this time round but its so expensive...

HappyAsASandboy · 16/10/2014 19:32

Not me, but my sister. She rang the hospital to ask then to send a midwife for her planned home birth.

The midwife said ring back when you're having regular contractions. My sister told them she'd had three lasting a minute whilst on the phone. The midwife laughed and said that wasn't possible, and to ring back when you're having proper contractions.

Needless to say, my BIL rang the midwives back a short while later, but only one managed to get there in time for the delivery (and that one didn't have a birthing kit with her ). Second midwife arrived 45 mins after delivery.

squizita · 16/10/2014 20:00

My mw believed me over the phone when I told them re contractions and physically checked me on arrival. I'm not a screamer either ... was told hypno or not some women are just quiet! So they go be what they see.

MsBug · 16/10/2014 21:17

Pickled I had natal hypnotherapy CDs. I listened to them a few times when pregnant but not as often as I'd planned as dd was born prematurely.

I was in labour and on the ward and according to dp 'getting a bit whingey' so I put on the music track and that completely calmed me down so that no one realised how far along I was. I do remember that the contractions were strong but I wouldn't have said they were painful. You concentrate on the contractions and I don't think you can really spare any energy to talk to the midwives. That was my experience anyway.

Original poster

lighteningmcmama · 16/10/2014 22:33

pickled i did the marie mongon course, i did a 121 course rather than a group course- i was living outside of london and at that time (this was with dc2) even the 121 course was significantly cheaper than a group course in london. i don't know where you are based but if you live in london its worth checking if there are any practitioners just outside london that you could travel to as it is much cheaper that way.

having said that, a course is not necessary if the cost is prohibitive, you can just read the book and listen to the CDs. the key thing is to practice daily or as close to that as possible so you can make the techniques second nature. also i discovered just about a week before dd2 was born that there are quite a few good youtube videos on hypnobirthing techniques, for example i found one really good one on J breathing that you do in second stage which really helped me as i never really understood that before.

OP posts:

TheRealMaryMillington · 16/10/2014 22:38

I didn't hypo birth but had a serious case of denial/ a whole load of yogic breathing going on and nope, they didn't believe me either. The convincing came when I fell to my knees and started pushing.

I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience, OP, I hope all is well now

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