if you did hypnobirthing did the midwives believe you that you were in labor or how did you convince them?

[lighteningmcmama]

I had dc3 last week. I'm not really ready to share my full birth story but one thing that I can't shake off is that the midwives didn't believe I was in labor. That is imo a big factor in leading to the complications I had during birth. According to my notes my total labor was 10minutes!! Yes it was quick but it was more like around 5 hours or so, but the midwives only believed me
10 minutes before dd arrived and she was born in triage/overnight antenatal ward...

So I was just wondering what your experience was if you did hypnobirthing? I think midwives still expect you to scream and if you're not making noise they think you can't be that advanced.

bicnod you said they monitored you and on that basis said you weren't in active labour- so the machine wasn't showing regular contractions? because i was also monitored on the machine. i wasn't timing my contractions on anything because i didn't want to, but i could feel that they were roughly every 10 minutes and were pretty powerful. but after the monitoring they said the contractions weren't regular. and then they examined me and said cervix wasn't dilated at all so the contractions weren't doing anything yet.

but i think now that i have a dodgy cervix! as the later examination at which they said i was 5cm (the examination which was 10 minutes before dd2 arrived) the midwife couldn't get to my cervix initially and said she was going to have to put her hand in quite a lot to get to it. and the same thing happened with dd1, they just couldn't feel my cervix properly, called for another midwife for a second opinion, by the time she arrived (which only took maybe half an hour) my waters went and i was pushing.

therealmarymillington thats interesting, i should probably have fallen to my knees as well, as i gave birth standing up hence the complications i had. but it was tricky because they were so convinced i wasn't as far gone that part of me was believing it. i knew something was coming, and i just said to them its either a poo or the baby. then i pooed :( and they thought that was it. then quickly i knew it was baby but i couldn't say anything partly because i just physically couldn't but also because they just weren't believing anything i was saying about what was happening. the midwives actually did click that baby was coming next but their response was to just start shouting at me to sit down and to get back on the bed. i don't resent the shouting, it was kind of an emergency, but i do resent the unhelpful advice to get on teh bed. i didn't because i couldn't figure out how that would help, i certianly wasn't going to give birth lying down, and i couldn't see how sitting down would help if there was more poo coming, i wasn't going to (sorry tmi) squash a poo sitting on a bed.

Oh Ligtening. I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I hope that you/your baby/both of you are on the mend from whatever complications you suffered.

Just to say, you don't have a 'dodgy' cervix. Lots of women labour other than in accordance with the strict curve of regular dilation. Within two months of me having DD2 I knew one woman who was sent home as not in established labour and had to be blue lighted back in, and another who delivered the head in the lift. Myself, I was told not to call for my homebirth until 3 in 10 and a minute long, sadly that pattern never emerged. We called when my waters went and I ended up BBA. I obviously had no internals, but my two friends did and were both barely dilated when sent home. I think part of the problem is that some midwives rely far too heavily on dilation and contraction pattern and allow all the other signs of established labour to pass them by. They are overworked and I can understand how that happens, but it doesn't make you feel better if it is you.

By my third labour my mw knew that there was a good chance I would labour irregularly and told me that she would ensure that other signs weren't discounted. She was as good as her word. I still rave about her six months later!

thank you penguins. this is a really nice way to look at it. it makes a lot more sense, and intuitively resonates with me because i now have 3 dcs on or around the 9th centile and ive always said that we're human, we don't follow linear patterns, and somebody has to be on the lower centiles etc etc. so a similar mindset of we're human, we don't follow a text book makes a lot more sense about what happened to me, including going from 5cm to baby being born in, literally, 2 minutes.

i do wish upon reflection that we had spent more time planning for a fast delivery in my birth plan. i was under shared care, both consultant and mw, because of different complications with my other two dcs, and the whole plan of care was centred around avoiding a tear or episiotomy due to my previous complications. but there was no plan (and i didn't even think of it myself) around what to do with another fast delivery.

i don't plan on having any more, so i do feel a bit like i never got childbirth right....:( but i know that's silly and that only comes into my head fleetingly, as after all at the end of the day, i did push out 3 healthy children

what's BBA by the way?

Yep, first midwife refused to believe I was in active labour as I didn't look like I was,luckily her shift finished and I got a younger midwife who believed me thank the Lord. I had a very calm labour.

Born before arrival. It means that the midwife didn't get there and the paramedic was parking his van!

I didn't do hypnobirthing but the mws didn't believe I was in labour with dc1 and told me to take paracetamol and go to bed when I was in transition it was actually a really horrible scary experience because being my first I obviously didn't know what to expect and wondered how much worse it was going to get. No apology when I turned up at hospital with baby crowning either!

With dc2 I made such a fuss on the phone that they believed me straight away but it was only because I knew the way to get them to listen was by shouting and screaming, I was coping well by calmly breathing through contractions but I doubt whether they would have listened if I had just done that. I was 6cm when they examined me so I know that was the right thing to do but it annoys me that it seems that acting is required to get access to pain relief and a midwife!

I have never done hypnobirthing, but I labour silently and don't find the contractions too bad until transition so MWs don't believe I am in labour either. I had DC4 last weekend. I had gone in telling them this, they didn't believe me, a short time later (DH and I were left on our own the whole time) I announced to DH that DD was crowning, he pressed the buzzer for a MW, DD was born. According to the MWs, labour was 33 minutes start to finish...

Yes. With dd. I phoned the birthing centre and mw told me not to come in yet as I sound fine and she'd have to phone on-call mw. I told her I was coming now.

When I arrived, to her credit, the birth pool was filled and lights dimmed. I wasn't accepting internals so all the mw had to go on was my behaviour. I knelt for 25mins and in between contractions laughed and chatted. Then announced I was getting in pool. Mw asked me to hold on until more in labour but I refused. Again mw cooperated.

I got in had a contraction, asked my mum to make me a tea with sugar (she made a round for all of us) then waters went and head was born, body as mum arrived with tea. Second midwife never called.

Dc3 was born at home and midwives didn't come when I called as it was shift changeover and ai sounded like I had ages apparently. When they did arrive head was born as they were arguing in drive about who had forgotten gas and air valve.

Yep, this also happened to me. I called into the midwife about three times to say that I thought I needed to come it but she told me that (and I will say that she was very nice and all this was said in a lovely way), as I was able to chat and joke between contractions, as my waters hadn't broken and as it was my first baby, I was in very early labour and that I probably wouldn't need to come in for hours, if not until the next day. Finally, when contractions were 2-3 mins apart my OH decided that we should just go to the hospital without being told to come in.

When we arrived and had been assigned a triage bed, the midwife just stuck her head in and told me that she'd come to assess me when she'd finished with another delivery as I was clearly sill in early labour. Luckily the nurse with me had twigged that there was something going on and insisted that she assess me first. I was 9cms and transferred to a delivery suit straight away.

My waters didn't break until DS was actually coming out.

I think that they just have a set idea of how people are at certain stages of labour and that Hypnobirthing throws them a little.

Really sorry to hear that you had complications though, hope all is well now

I should add that the midwife did apologise to me - 'You kept calling to tell me you needed to come in and I didn't believe you, did I? Well, I am sorry but you were just so calm'

Hypnobirthing works then :-)

bagofsnakes i so wish the midwife had reacted as nicely to me. instead she blamed me for what happened, i think she was in shock as much as everyone else, and she kept saying to me 'i told you to get back on the bed'. and when she came round to labour ward, where i was transferred to for my stitches, she just looked at me sternly and shook her head. the labour ward midwife (who was absolutely lovely) explained that it was just because the other midwife was concerned about the rare complications to my dd owing to the fast delivery and just reacted that way out of concern for the baby, which i accepted at the time, but no in hindsight i do think that even in shock one can either act horribly or can act kindly, iyswim...

starlightmackenzie am i confusing you with someone else or was your dc3 born within a few days of my dc2- mid june 2012?

everyone else i hope the title of my thread didn't sound like i was saying that only hypnobirthers act calmly, i didn't want to cause any offence as i know that a significant number of mamas can birth calmly using other methods or their own resources, and its great to hear stories of calm silent and in control births however that was achieved- its just a shame that midwives think there's only one (noisy) way to give birth!

I used hypnobirthing with dd3. The midwife wouldn't even examine me as 'i was far to happy to be in labour'. Eventually i had to make a fuss. They examine me and were astonished. I staggered to labour ward across corridor, lay down on bed and pushed. Dd got stuck via shoulders and cord wrapped around her neck. All hell broke lose as they weren't expecting me. Long story short, dd is ok but it was hairy. Midwives didn't take me seriously as hypnobirthing relaxed me so much.

Didn't do proper hypnobirthing, but did read the book.

DC1 - they believed I was in labour when I was examined and found to be 10cm.

DC2 - told midwife no-one believed I was in proper labour with DC1, she turned up just in time to meet DC2, having thought she had a few hours to get there, despite me being fairly certain she didn't.

I did natal hypnotherapy with my second birth 5 wks ago. They believed me as first birth was fast. I was in hospital 2 hrs after contractions started, joking between contractions but quiet during, and found to be 6 cm. if I hadn't had a fast first birth with speedy dilation they may have asked me to call back or go home without checking, luckily I had a midwife who listen and an awesome birth.

not hypnobirthing but i am quite a calm labourer...

2nd baby was at home, telephoned labour ward twice to say i was in labour and thought i needed to come in. they didnt really believe me and offered to send a midwife to visit me at home and examine me to see if i actually needed to go into hospital. midiwfe arrived and examined me - i was 10cm and baby was born at home using emergency delivery kit a few minutes later!

im having a planned home birth this time and my midwife will be over as soon as i want her, even if it turns out im wrong and only in early labour.

fingers crossed, im 39w 5days.

I didn't properly do hypnobirthing but had early labouring through the previous night and while it wasn't a walk in the park it was easily manageable. When I went into triage the next morning to be assessed the midwife took one look, cocked her eyebrow and said 'well you're obviously not in labour' because she could see me laughing and joking with DP. Because I was in for an induction though (because my waters had gone but no contractions) she was bound to check me first and found I was 4cm. She was pretty surprised but I must have been lucky enough to have a very manageable early labour. :)

Yes, everything on this thread resonates! With DD1 when DH called the hospital they asked him to put me on the phone (because if you can speak, they don't want to see you ) - I said I was coming in regardless, then on arrival they left me in a corridor for what seemed like forever and then said they were going to send me home since I had already been in for waters breaking 4 hours earlier so I couldn't possibly be in established labour yet. Eventually they examined me and I was 9cm - baby is severe distress, cue crash section at 10cm dilated.

Fortunately my experience with DD2 was completely different - I used One to One Midwives and they offer hypnobirthing classes for free as part of their service, so my midwife was familiar with the concept and the effects. I think it also made a huge difference that the midwife who delivered my baby was the same midwife who had seen me throughout pregnancy - so she knew me. She knew that if I said I was in labour, I was in labour. She came as soon as I asked her to, she gave me gas and air when I requested it and I was never ever questioned, doubted or internally examined through my second labour.

I do think that continuity of care would go a long way towards resolving the issue really. It must be hard to be a midwife and to have to support/care for a woman whom you've never set eyes on before and whom you don't know from Adam and to judge how best to help her through.