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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

How long can fathers stay post delivery

27 replies

Mummy2014 · 01/01/2014 19:48

Hi all,

As above really, how long can the baby's fathers stay after labour? I understand it's dependant on the type of birth (C Secrion / natural) and the time of it all - but wondered do they literally have a cuddle with baby & are told to leave?

Any experiences appreciated please

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phantomhairpuller · 01/01/2014 19:50

In the hospital where I gave birth, fathers were allowed in anytime from after breakfast until lights out at night.

Hope this helps

TallulahBetty · 01/01/2014 20:02

Usually just during visiting hours. DD was born at midnight and DH had to leave at 3am when I was moved from delivery room to the postnatal ward.

TallulahBetty · 01/01/2014 20:03

Fathers' visiting hours that should be, not other visitors (who tend to have to go at lunchtime etc).

RubyrooUK · 01/01/2014 20:15

Depends on the birth and hospital.

My friend gave birth in the birth centre at the hospital - she gave birth at midnight, she and DH shared double bed and she was discharged the next afternoon.

I had DS1 (three day labour, forceps delivery with operation afterwards) during the day. DH stayed till late that evening (visiting was technically 9-9 but they were considerate to new parents) and then was back at 8am the next day.

With DS2, (c-section in morning) DH could have stayed all night in a chair by the bed but had to go home to DS1.

So it varies quite a lot I think...

AnythingNotEverything · 01/01/2014 20:20

I face birth at 10.30 - straightforward vaginal delivery with a stitched second degree tear. DH stayed with us in the delivery suite until 4.30am when we were transferred up to the ward.

He could then visit between 7am and 9pm I think.

Showy · 01/01/2014 20:21

At our hospital, they can stay with you on the labour ward/in recovery but once you're transferred to the postnatal ward, it's dependent on visiting hours. So, dd was born at 10pm by emcs and I was transferred to the postnatal ward at about midnight. DH had to leave me before transfer and wasn't allowed back until 11am the following day.

DS was born at 3.30pm and visiting finished at 5pm so he had abut 20 minutes on the ward with me before he was asked to leave.

DontCallMeDaughter · 01/01/2014 20:24

At the hosp I gave birth in DH was allowed in 8am-8pm on the post natal ward. If you give birth during the night, they're allowed to stay in the delivery room until you're discharged or transferred to post natal.

BloominNora · 01/01/2014 20:30

The hospital I gave birth in didn't have a postnatal ward - it was individual rooms so you stay in the room you deliver in. Dd1 was born at 4am and DH was allowed to stay all day. Officially visiting was 9-9 for partners so when they kept me in he had to go home at 9pm.

TimothyClaypoleLover · 01/01/2014 20:32

I think it depends on what hospital/area you are in. Also if you have a straight forward delivery and then are discharged partners are allowed to stay the whole time (delivery suite and then recovery). If you are transferred to post natal ward and kept in overnight for whatever reason then visiting times apply.

I was kept in overnight for my first and DH had to leave at 8pm and then was allowed back at 9am following day. With my second I had baby at 2.30am but didn't actually get out the hospital until 5pm and DH was allowed to stay the entire time.

IdaClair · 01/01/2014 20:39

When I was in the baby bit he stayed with me the whole time and we had a double bed, I would not have let him leave. Bit different but I had births at home so didn't need to worry about it then we all stayed together for at least 2 weeks thankfully

Ullapull · 01/01/2014 23:58

It depends on the hospital and the ward so you'll have to ask them! [Grin] if you give birth overnight then DP will likely be asked to go home once you're settled into the ward but then he can come back after breakfast in the morning. Other visitors are more restricted obviously.

thornrose · 02/01/2014 00:04

Like lots of other posters my dd was born around midnight and when I was taken to the ward he had to go home. I remember being quite upset as I didn't realise that would happen.

Ullapull · 02/01/2014 00:05

but wondered do they literally have a cuddle with baby & are told to leave?

Don't worry this doesn't happen! Lots of cuddling and together time for mum, dad and baby. Remember post birth you've still got to deliver the placenta, then get sewn up if necessary, then you usually get to have a snack and shower (DP can cuddle baby during your shower!) then once all the paperwork is done then you're off to the ward. Lots of time. Of course this order of things may vary lots by birth but just my experience.

Cariad007 · 02/01/2014 00:16

Some hospitals now let partners stay overnight but tbh if you're in a postnatal ward with only a couple of toilets for several women do you really want additional people crowding the facilities? Also if my partner couldn't stay for some reason then I'm not sure that I'd be comfortable with a strange man being just beyond the set of curtains just next to me.

RubyrooUK · 02/01/2014 07:57

I think giving birth can be such a different experience for everyone, Caria. I was happy for men to stay on the postnatal ward when I had DS2 (even though my own DH had to go home to look after DS1 at night).

When I had DS1, I felt so vulnerable and scared (bad birth, surgery afterwards) and I was terrified of being alone with the baby. So I wish desperately that DH had been allowed to stay then - it would have helped calm me down so much when I was struggling to breastfeed at first. It would have helped so much for him to advocate for me at night when I was so exhausted after three days of labour, surgery and blood loss.

When I had DS2, I was a bit more relaxed and felt ok for DH to leave me as I'd had a baby before. But I didn't mind others having their partners there as I remembered just how scary it was to be alone after having DS1 and I wouldn't want someone else to feel that way.

(Plus my dignity was all shot after having kids so I didn't care if someone saw me looking rough on the way to the loo. )

I do appreciate others might feel different though.

Bankholidaybaby · 02/01/2014 08:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lilyaldrin · 02/01/2014 08:15

It would be nice to have partners stay, but on a postnatal ward it isn't appropriate. I would be very unhappy about random blokes around all night on a ward - it isn't respectful to the other women there.

I think DS was born about 1am, and we moved to the ward about 4am, so DP went home then and came back for visiting hours (9-9).

thepobblewhohasnotoes · 02/01/2014 08:42

DP was able to stay till I was discharged at midnight, took hours longer to discharge me that they thought, I guess they turned a blind eye to him "overstaying" as they knew we were on our way out. But that was my second birth and I went home the same day, that'll be very unlikely for a first birth.

First time round, IIIRC DP had to go home but was able tp stay quite late. Again they weren't strict about enforcing the leaving time. I think if your DP and you are being quiet and no trouble they're more likely to let them stay a bit longer, unless they're sticklers for the rules.

I don't think the visiting times are to do with being respectful to women, you can pull the curtains if you want privacy. I always thought the visiting times were to do with giving women a break. Not all partners are lively and supportive. Some are abusive, sadly, some are just not much use or demanding. They're asked to go so new mothers can get some rest I thought. From my limited experience i think they tend to turn a blind eye if all the DPs on the ward are being no trouble!

If I had the money I would have paid for my own room. My local NHS hospital offered this. (Although it's not guaranteed. Understandable if someone needs it for medical reasons they get priority).

thepobblewhohasnotoes · 02/01/2014 08:43

Lovely, not lively!

elliejjtiny · 02/01/2014 17:18

In my hospital partners are allowed to stay on the labour ward so about 2-3 hours after birth and then usual visiting hours on the postnatal ward (9-9ish, can't remember exactly). With DS4 I was the first CS on the list so on the PN at about 12pm. Would have been really good timing but because I sent him down to NICU to find out what was going on with DS and then he had to leave to get the older DC's from school/inlaws I didn't really see much of him.

Bridezilla3521 · 02/01/2014 18:59

I had DD just before 7pm. DP stayed until midnight as i was taken to theatre for 90mins to stitch up after 3rd degree tear. I was back on PN ward at around 11 where DP was already waiting in my cubicle with DD :) There was no rush for him to leave either. They were quite relaxed with new parents (the girl next to me came onto the ward at 4am with her partner and he stayed all morning). After that it was visiting 9-9.

lorenzo1984 · 02/01/2014 20:09

I gave birth at 4.35pm, father was allowed to stay until 9pm when baby & I transferred to post-delivery ward. He came back again at 9am.

Original poster

Mummy2014 · 02/01/2014 22:29

Thank you all for your replies. Will play it by ear & see how it goes then, have to get through the actual labour first lol xx

OP posts:

Misty9 · 02/01/2014 22:33

I gave birth at 6.30pm and we were pretty much left alone until midnight when dh had to go home and we were transferred to postnatal. But i think that was partly because labour and delivery were quite quiet and I could barely get off the bed

The next day he was allowed back at 8am came in after I called him in tears at 8.40am to ask where the hell he was! and sent home at 10pm (was supposed to be 9pm but we had a private amenity room by that point).

I really hope we get discharged from mlu this time as that second night when he left was awful :(

hazchem · 03/01/2014 22:26

My OH only left me to feed the meter and pick up the car seat :)

If you have a vaginal delivery they will probably aim for a 4 hour discharge. We had a slightly longer discharge but were out within 10 hours of DS being born.

Ask the midwife at your next appointment how things work where you are. I found removing the uncertainties really helpful.

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