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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

any one there who didn't find out the gender 20wks scan???

43 replies

jollyjollymom · 24/07/2011 14:14

I am currently 37+3 wks, I didn't find out the gender at my 20wks scan as I wasn't ready at that time plus it's my fourth after 3 girls, so was very nervous, but now I am really feeling down and helpless like I have already lost all the excitment of being pregnant, SOME ONE PLEASE CHEER ME UP.... people around me are being very nosy, want to know the baby name, they want to know what colour baby cloths I have bought, passing comments etc.... I can't help myself...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PonceyMcPonce · 24/07/2011 14:19

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PonceyMcPonce · 24/07/2011 14:20

This reply has been deleted

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bt1978 · 24/07/2011 14:40

We didn't find out for DD1 and am now 31+4 with DC2. We are extremely excited to find out the sex and I loved not knowing - like poncey said it just doesn't seem important.
DH has said he is hoping for a boy, although we discussed it last night and decided he should mentally prepare for another girl so he sorts through any potential disappointment now.

Congratulations on whatever you have - 4 girls sounds like loads of fun, as does 3 big sisters and their little bro!

violetwellies · 24/07/2011 14:47

I was convinced Ds was a boy, but didn't gind out at the scan, its a good job we got what we ordered otherwise we would currently have a little girl with a boys name - we didn't choose a girl name :)

Lollyheart · 24/07/2011 14:48

I never found out with this one due in 8 weeks. We didnt find out with our dd but we did ds1 and 2, I must admit I wish I had found out now.

My brother and his wife have just had their first boy after 3 girls

JiltedJohnsJulie · 24/07/2011 14:57

We didn't find out either for both of ours. We did it that way for 2 reasons, firstly a close friend who is a MW was told she was having a girl and got a boy and secondly, we'd had such much truama getting a healthy baby it just didn't seem important which sex it was.

Tell everyone to back off. If it helps you could always do what we did, whenever anyone asked the names we'd chosen we said Myra or Adolf, soon put an end to all their nosey enquiries .

LO will be here in now time at all and then you'll have all the fun of finding out, naming them and letting everyone know.

mousymouse · 24/07/2011 15:03

we didn't find out with both dc. it just felt wrong to me beforehand and I didn't want to drown in pink or blue which would have been inevitable given that my lovery mil is a shopaholic.
with dc1 a gypsy told me and he was right, though :)

Pancakeflipper · 24/07/2011 15:07

We didn't find out for our DC. It added to the excitement. And I got to read both sections of the baby name book, so got my monies worth.

I was convinced our second was going to be a girl. I was stunned when it was a boy. Had to rethink that name.

Original poster

jollyjollymom · 24/07/2011 16:32

thanks a lot everyone, it's good to know I am not the only one who didn't find out, I would love a boy this time, but will be happy and content with a girl too, same with DH, but he wanted to find out, it was me who siad NO, but DH was ok and agree with me. Poncey, you are right, I was afraid I might be a bit disappointed if its going to be a girl again.....

OP posts:

flamegirl77 · 24/07/2011 18:28

We didn't find out either and we aren't regretting it so far! Agree with telling people to back off, you're allowed with three weeks to go. Congratulations and hope all goes smoothly.

PonceyMcPonce · 24/07/2011 20:20

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SheCutOffTheirTails · 24/07/2011 20:25

I didn't find out either time (not through choice, I might add, but DH didn't want to know anyway) and in hindsight I'm really glad I didn't.

There's no way you'll be disappointed on the day when you meet your baby, but you might be deflated to know at 20 weeks, especially if it's not what you were hoping for.

If I get pregnant with DC3 I won't find out again. I think if I found it was another girls at 20 weeks I'd feel all sad about the son I might never have. But on the day I'd just think I was the luckiest woman alive to have 3 daughters iyswim

Meglet · 24/07/2011 20:28

I didn't find out with DC1. But everyone said it was going to be a boy and when he came out and the surgeon said "it's a boy!", I was like 'well, duh, of course he is' .

I did find out with DD, I found it more exciting knowing what we were getting. I do like to plan things though.

woowa · 24/07/2011 20:34

Had eight scans and at each one I had to say PLEASE don't tell us what it is or show us any bits! Really didn't want to know, imagined a DS all the way through, shocked to get a DD, and thrilled, a few hours later, to have a DD. Won't find out this time, again (am 11wks), i think it's a nice gift after horrible labour, to have a surprise!

BertieBasset · 24/07/2011 20:38

I absolutely knew that I was having boys so didn't need a gender scan anyway and so didn't find out.

I was totally wrong both times and have 2 dd's! Both were wonderful genuine surprises. It'll be great when you pop and you find out

RandomMess · 24/07/2011 20:39

I found out with my first but not for the others, ended up will them all the same. I ended up being induced with all of mine and tbh I wanted to have one thing that was a surprise. With the last one I had my induction date booked in from when I was 16 weeks pregnant!!!!

Have to say I wasn't disappointed with what I got.

fireblademum · 24/07/2011 20:52

I didn't find out the gender, and due to complications I had loads of scans, I looked through my fingers every time and said don't tell me if you can see a Willy, just tell me baby's ok. I wad utterly convinced I was having a boy, didn't have a girls name ready when dd came out by emcs 6 weeks prem.

fireblademum · 24/07/2011 20:53

Have to say, loved the surprise when they said its a girl!

Ivortheengine8 · 24/07/2011 20:56

We didn't because baby's legs were crossed :( was a bit disappointed that we couldn't see as we found out with DD1
I don't really have any feeling as to what it is but most people are 'predicting' a boy for some reason!

SingingSands · 24/07/2011 20:57

We didn't find out with either pregnancy and it felt like we were the only couple in the world not to!

I just feel that once you tell people the sex, the baby becomes "public property" in a way and people start making comments "ooh, what a stong kick, you'll have trouble with this little lad" etc. I liked having the baby all to myself.

Although, without a gnder scan, I knew my 2nd baby was a boy. I just knew it. To the point of shouting "get him out!" during labour . I was right though, he was a boy!

Ivortheengine8 · 24/07/2011 20:58

Oh and I'm 27 weeks and lost the excitement of being pregnant a while ago

NotJustKangaskhan · 24/07/2011 21:09

I didn't this time around - I was going to as I missed the big announcement last time, but we had a student in that day and I didn't want to distract her as she was having such a hard time finding a few things (Baby was laying on arm, and seemed unpleased by being bothered) and the teacher person was horrid - she used the scanner really hard against my stomach - to the point of pain and tears and would just say 'I need to get the baby to turn' as comfort - and gave my husband the look of death when he asked for a photo and I just wanted out of there and away from her at that point.

I'm actually now quite pleased about it. That weekend we sorted out our short list for both sexes, with names I'm really like for both, and I'm enjoying the extra time to discuss that we're happy either way with our three kids (Upon being told about the pregnancy, the older two drew battle lines about the sex - they've since calmed down but continuing the 'it's nice if the baby a boy or a girl' seemed an important message to keep discussing for a bit longer).

Onlyboys · 25/07/2011 10:59

We didn't find out for our first, but we have for our second, so that we could tell DS what was coming. When we found out sex of No 2 we both felt happy for our child but then sad, not due to the sex, but because we had lost all that wondering aspect that goes with the pregnancy when you don't know the sex, IYSWIM. We lost the chance to imagine what it would be like to have one of each or two of the same or whatever, as we had the concrete-ness of the scan. (Lucky we both felt the same way).

So OP I envy you (I am in late pregnancy too - 41 weeks today and no sign) as you will get that amazing 'Its a . . . ' at the birth and you will be thrilled. As my DH says there aren't many surprises left in life at our age.

Good luck!

Elsjas · 25/07/2011 13:03

I didn't find out with my first as I wanted a surprise at the birth. However, dd1 was a difficult delivery and she was whipped away to be looked over and sorted out. When she was returned to me, she was all wrapped up in a blanket and I had to ask what sex she was. Obviously, I have no problem with the doctors looking after me and the baby, but there was no great " it's a girl" moment.

So, I found out at the 20 week scan with my second as I felt it was more of a "moment" in the calm of the scan room with dp and dd1. Dd1 was 4 years old and she liked being included in that special moment.

CrazyAlien06 · 25/07/2011 13:09

I haven't found out the sex of my baby :) Had scans at 12, 20, 28 and next one is at 36 weeks and refrained from finding out so far lol
There aren't many total surprises in life so we are having this one :D
I am currently 30+1 and on the countdown woooo x It's my first so slightly terrified as well haha x

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