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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

~homebirth with dad delivering? ~

42 replies

bewbs123 · 09/07/2011 12:22

is it technically possible to have a home birth with your husband delivering

with as little or even no medical staff there or in another room incase of issue?

obviously there are risks to not having someone there medically, but putting that to one side for a moment, is there a choice to handle things yourself?

in the fashion of emergency home deliveries that happen before help gets there, but premeditated in this case to be just home with you and your husband (again assuming we leave risks to the side)

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Original poster

bewbs123 · 09/07/2011 12:24

no edit button

wanted to add:

premeditated to be just you and your husband, and then contact medical people if you feel it is needed

OP posts:

IslaValargeone · 09/07/2011 12:25

I wouldn't even consider it unless my husband was Michel Odent.

Lulumama · 09/07/2011 12:27

it is illegal for your husband to act as a midwife. he can certainly catch the baby under the watchful eye of a MW

you cannot deliberately legally decide to not have a trained Mw there and have an unqualified person there to deliver

Oakmaiden · 09/07/2011 12:27

It is illegal for any person to deliver a baby unless they are a trained midwife or doctor. Except in the case of an emergency, obviously.

Sirzy · 09/07/2011 12:27

I am sure you could insist on it but its not a risk I would take. Do you have other children? If so what where those labours like?

I like the comfort of knowing the experts are nearby personally!

Original poster

bewbs123 · 09/07/2011 12:42

thanks, didnt realise the midwife is a legal component, how interesting!
and no , no children, massive phobia of anything to do with things 'down there' so not likely, just wondering incase my mind changes :)

can u be refused a home birth?

OP posts:

CrapolaDeVille · 09/07/2011 12:45

With so many friends as GPs, gynys and obstetricians there is no way I would EVER consider a home birth, especially without medical staff.

BumperlicicusTotalus · 09/07/2011 13:14

You can be refused a homebirth on medical grounds and they can't guarantee that a community midwife will be available but many midwives are really pro HB and are excited to do it. My SIL is due to have a HB for her first any day now. I had one for DD2.

wolfhound · 09/07/2011 13:19

You actually can't legally be refused a homebirth although you may have to fight for it. If you don't want medical staff there you don't have to call them - though you might have to pretend it all happened too quickly to do so. I would not recommend having no medical staff. If you have a phobia, better to find an independent midwife who suits you and then you can guarantee having someone you're comfortable with at the birth.

twolittlemonkeys · 09/07/2011 13:21

I have a friend who is evangelical about HB (to the point I'm considering blocking her on FB because every day she posts several links to blogs/articles banging on about why HB is better and how a hospital birth damages the mother/child/bonding experience/whatever!) She wanted a HB for DC1 but ended up having an emergency section after digging her heels in/ refusing to go to hospital/ being in labour for 3 days. She then had unassisted HBs (just her DH or a friend present) for her 2 subsequent children (by not ringing up to inform MW she was in labour until the baby was pretty much coming out) and goes on and on ad nauseam about how wonderful it was. Luckily her children are fine and healthy but as an earlier poster said legally a MW ought to be present. Personally I think my friend is slightly unhinged.

Secondtimelucky · 09/07/2011 14:06

I would never plan to have an unattended homebirth (and that's speaking as someone who had an accidental one with only my doula because things happened too fast between established labour and birth).

You can choose to have a homebirth, refuse internals (or seriously limit them), set the midwives up next door for most of the time, but still have them there. That way the baby's heart rate gets checked and there's someone there for an emergency, but you get to spend most of the time doing your own thing. I don't think it's really possible to think about this issue putting the medical stuff to one side, because the whole reason they are there is the medical stuff.

Oakmaiden · 09/07/2011 14:13

bewbs - actually, the midwife isn't a legal component as such - it is not illegal to have an unattended birth (although highly unrecommended) but it is illegal for someone other than a midwife or doctor to deliver a baby.

That said - the baby does have to come out of "down there" so you are not going to avoid things "down there" - but you can refuse to give permission for vaginal examinations, etc - thus limiting the amount of "down there" stuff that goes on. However, do make sure you are clear on the purpose of the various examinations, and bear in mind that if things aren't going smoothly you may come under pressure to change your mind - and that in some cases changing you mind might be the right thing to do.

EveryonesJealousOfWeasleys · 09/07/2011 14:26

I planned a HB and laboured for a long time at home - midwives were fantastic and really kept out of the way, I remember a couple of them sitting in the hall 'observing' from a distance while I was in the bedroom. I requested no internals and wasn't given one until I had been in labour for a very long time, at which point the MW suggested she maybe ought to do one to check progress. In fact I was 10cm which we were all very chuffed about! I ended up having a transfer to hospital due to meconium in the waters - which neither DH or I would have picked up on had we not had the MW present. I really liked labouring at home and didn't find the MWs intrusive at all. Their presence was invaluable for making sure DD remained safe.

Papyrus · 09/07/2011 14:38

With my second child I had an unplanned homebirth, due to DS being very impatient to get out! It was just me and DH and everything went so well, there was part of me which hoped DD2 would be born the same way.

We did opt for a homebirth, but DD2 got stuck and we were very lucky to have the midwives there who were able to decide that we should transfer to hospital. DD2 was born by emergency c-section and thankfully was fine.

You never know what will happen and while everything will probably be fine, having the midwives there just in case is invaluable.

Original poster

bewbs123 · 09/07/2011 14:49

thanks all much food for thought

OP posts:

FebreezeYourJeans · 09/07/2011 15:08

this is US site but might give you more food for thought. Google free birthing or unassisted birth.

Eglu · 09/07/2011 15:12

I've just had a home birth where my DH delivered our DD. I knew I would have a quick labour and unfortunately the mw didn't make it until 2 mins after DD was born.

I would not recommend it. It was my third child, but it was still scary for both me and DH. Luckily I told DH to call an ambuoance and the 999 operator talked him through it. I still ended up with a third degree tear though, as the birth was not as controlled as it could have been.

I love home births, and had one with DS2, but it was much niver with a mw there.

BumperlicicusTotalus · 09/07/2011 15:19

The thing is midwives are trained and experienced enough to recognise at an early stage when something might be not going quite to plan. Mine stayed completely out of the way and just read my magazines in the early stages, but could tell what was going on just by listening to me. She only examined me at my request. The thing is, even before we had official midwives around, births would have been attended by village elders who were experience in such matters.

It's a big responibility on your partner. Even if he/she were trained in first aid, what if something happened to you after the baby had just been born?

cory · 09/07/2011 16:00

Agree with Bumper that even apart from the legal consideration it is a huge responsibility to put on someone with no previous experience. And even more so when it's someone who cares deeply about you and may find it hard to stay detached and practical if you start haemorrhaging.

LynetteScavo · 09/07/2011 16:12

I had a home birth with DC3, and the midwife was fantastically hands-off.

There was no way she would have tried to coerce me into an internal (I was happy to have one, but she did it in the dark) And it seemed to me as if all she did was sit quietly on the sofa, while DH rushed around getting every thing I demanded. (Sick bowl, clean top, opening the windows, etc).

She didn't cut the cord until after it had stopped pulsating, and although DD didn't cry or move, she only very gently suggested I blow on her face to start her breathing.

Go and give birth in a forest in the middle of nowhere, surrounded only by wild rabbits and deer if you really want to, but expecting your partner to manage a birth with no prior experience, and thus not knowing exactly when to call for medical assistance (except when it really fecking hurts) is a HUGE ask of anyone.

msbuggywinkle · 09/07/2011 18:07

DD2 was born at home, caught by her Dad with the midwives in the kitchen. It was perfect, just how I wanted it. I enjoyed having the safety net of midwives present, but didn't want them anywhere near me unless absolutely necessary.

I do agree that it is a big ask of your DP, and not something I would do as if anything did go wrong it would be horrible for him to feel responsible.

It is legal to have an unassisted birth in the UK, provided no one there has the intent to act as a midwife, which is obviously woolly, but if you caught the baby yourself or called the midwife as the baby was crowning and told them you weren't that far on then it would be difficult to charge your DP.

VivaLeBeaver · 09/07/2011 18:11

Why would you want to put the risks to one side when considering the issue. Surely that is the issue?

Is your dh planning to listen in to the fetal heart? Will he recognise a deceleration, know it's an ok one or a pathological one? Is he well versed in mcroberts if you have a dystocia? Neonatal resus? Placental abbruption? Pph? Can he cannulate, do bimanual compression?

mumatron · 09/07/2011 18:26

I managed to have a pretty much hands off delivery in hospital on a consultant led ward. So even if you do end up in hospital it doesn't have to be completely medical.

I had one ve when I got into hospital, which I asked for, straight into the pool. Mw listened to the baby a few times at my request and I delivered DD2 myself with the mw sitting by the side of the pool. She just left me too it.

SelinaDoula · 09/07/2011 19:12

It is not illegal to have a birth without a midwife present but the law is blurred if your husband made it obvious he planned to act as a midwife to you.
You cannot be refused a homebirth on medical grounds byt some services have stated staffing issues and asked people to go in.
www.homebirth.org.uk/law.htm
An independant midwife might be willing to attend and be in another room while your husband delivered your baby.
S x

exoticfruits · 09/07/2011 19:19

It isn't something that I would contemplate-making sure the birth is as safe as possible comes way before a nice experience for me.I'm sure that midwives are unobtrusive and involve the partner.

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