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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

~homebirth with dad delivering? ~

42 replies

bewbs123 · 09/07/2011 12:22

is it technically possible to have a home birth with your husband delivering

with as little or even no medical staff there or in another room incase of issue?

obviously there are risks to not having someone there medically, but putting that to one side for a moment, is there a choice to handle things yourself?

in the fashion of emergency home deliveries that happen before help gets there, but premeditated in this case to be just home with you and your husband (again assuming we leave risks to the side)

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

TheMadonnaWithTheBigBoobies · 09/07/2011 19:24

Please don't do this. A former colleague of mine did this and it went horribly wrong. What will you do if the cord is round the baby's neck? What if the baby gets distressed? There is a reason why we have low infant and maternal mortality in this country. As others have said, and as mother of a 7wo cherub, I honestly don't understand why you'd risk both yours and your baby's health? Yes, the majority of times things go swimmingly, and I would have given anything to have been able to have a home birth this time round, but what if something does go wrong? In all honesty, I think it's ultimately selfish.

thisisyesterday · 09/07/2011 19:32

already lots of replies, so won't add too much other than that I think it would be far, far wiser to get help with your issues about things "down there" than to have an unassisted birth

and i say this as someone whose 3rd baby was born before the midwives and ambulance crew arrived. he was fine, but you just don't know what will happen and if something had gone wrong and we'd had to wait for them to arrive it would have been awful.

if you are very concerned about it then start saving for an independent midwife perhaps?

sc2987 · 09/07/2011 19:43

I had a (planned) unattended birth. My ex didn't deliver our daughter though, he was in another room.

As stated above, it is illegal for someone to act as a midwife, which isn't defined, but might be interpreted to mean doing VEs etc. It is not illegal to have an unassisted birth.

I think only one person has been prosecuted for the offence anyway, and that's because they stated that they were intending to act in the capacity of a midwife in advance. They were fined £500.

Of course you could always ask the midwife to stay in another room until you want her (maybe not at all) if you would like that backup.

Original poster

bewbs123 · 09/07/2011 20:20

hi all

thanks for all the replies, again it isnt 'happening' it is just a query whilst i ponder about whether to have kids or not at all

interesting that you can have a midwife in another room until the event, i really like that idea, ie the back up but ultimately it is just us 2 experiencing it with that safety net there

how much is an independent midwife and how are they found?

OP posts:

HappyHollydays · 09/07/2011 20:41

I thought it was illegal to impersonate a MW ie if your DH announced he was a qualified MW then that would be dodgy but not if he was just there.

What role would he do anyway?

It niggles at me when I hear "x delivered the baby" when really the mother has done the work but perhaps x caught the baby. I always think it takes away from the mother's effort.

Sorry, slightly off track there.

Unassisted birth is legal but a good compromise would be having your MW in another room just in case needed. Best of both worlds?

TheRealDeal · 28/07/2011 05:34

It is absurd that giving birth by yourself is illegal isn?t it? Hegemonic rubbish.

I (a scientist) ?freebirthed?with my husband (and engineer) ?catching? the ?finished product? as we affectionately say. Of course, in ?legal language?, the whole thing was ?an emergency?. (Oh no! I?m going to ?spontaneously combust?...or something...)

If you are well-educated, well-supported by a 'second' and confident, go for it.

LoveInAColdChamberOfSecrets · 28/07/2011 06:28

Vaguely remembering the dim and distant days of law school, I seem to remember a case where the parents planned to do this as they didn't want medical professionals involved. Either the mother or the baby or possibly both died and I think the father was convicted of murder rather than manslaughter for failing to get help in time. I'll try to look the case up when I'm at work. Seems to suggest not the most cracking idea!

EdithWeston · 28/07/2011 06:32

Umm - have you read the thread.

Giving birth unassisted isn't illegal in UK.

It is however illegal to have a non-qualified person act as a mid-wife (if deliberately planned ahead, not in an unexpectedly rapid situation). See VivaLaBeaver's post, and the one about neo-natal first aid - do your science degrees cover any of those?

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 28/07/2011 06:33

Edith, RealDeal has bumped approximately eleventy billion threads tonight, all of them about insisting on a female medical practitioner or freebirthing. She has, as we say, An Agenda. And she never responds after the first post.

LoveInAColdChamberOfSecrets · 28/07/2011 06:35

Was that aimed at me, Edith, or TheRealDeal? I have read the thread and am not purporting to have a science degree as should be fairly obvious by the fact that I say I went to law school!

EdithWeston · 28/07/2011 06:42

Yes x-post and sorry for confusion.

At TheRealDeal - who has resurrected a number of free-birthing threads this morning, and (though I may be reading it more into it than intended) seems to be suggesting, both here and in other threads, that possession of a degree-level education in a non-medical field is somehow relevant when attending a birth.

LoveInAColdChamberOfSecrets · 28/07/2011 06:48

Ah, thanks, Edith, thought that must be the case. Yes, I thought that re the "being a scientist" bit - insane! I wouldn't want a non obstetric medical professional delivering my baby save in an emergency - the thought of an oncologist, for example, having a crack at it isn't a good one - let alone an engineer .

exoticfruits · 28/07/2011 07:40

I read the other thread dismissing doctors as 'jack of all trades' and not as good as engineers!
I would always put the health of the baby and a safe delivery above having a wonderful exerience for the parents.

nannyl · 28/07/2011 08:46

Im planning a home birth, in about 6 weeks time

Even though 2 midwives will (or should) be at my house, i only want 1 of them in the room (The other can be about 3m away in the kitchen )

I want OH to be with me, and do as much as possible and the midwives to do as little as possible.

If they just watch then that will be great, although if i actually need them to say or do something than that is what must happen, and if midwife 1 feels the need for midwife 2 to come into the room as well, then i'm very happy to go with that too The midwives can judge that and i wont be argueing!

Will see what happens when the time comes.

I am planning a waterbirth at home so it will be very hands off anyway, but it would be fab if midwife just watched and guided if necessary, but didnt need to "touch".

spudulika · 28/07/2011 12:35

"I would always put the health of the baby and a safe delivery above having a wonderful exerience for the parents"

People who have unassisted births, in my experience, don't do it because they want a 'wonderful experience'. They do it because they're frightened of what doctors and midwives might do to them, and they do it because they want an easy birth FOR THEMSELVES AND FOR THEIR BABY. They don't want people using instruments on their babies, they don't want to give their baby opioid drugs, they don't want other people handing their babies at the birth.

They might be misguided, but they're not cruel and uncaring.

spudulika · 28/07/2011 12:37

"I wouldn't want a non obstetric medical professional delivering my baby save in an emergency"

Luckily, the majority of babies don't need 'delivering' by a third party. Mothers birth them. Someone catches them.

mumwithdice · 28/07/2011 15:31

I think having a mw there for backup is the best plan if you want a homebirth. I had a lovely mw who just let me get on with it.

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