If first delivery was traumatic, how was your second?

[jabberwocky]

Am screwing up my courage to consider a second pregnancy and would love to hear inspirational stories. However, I do want both sides so don't hold back if second delivery was traumatic also!

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1st traumatic. Needed emergency section after not progessing beyond 4cm then DS1 went into distress. Lost 2 litres blood and had a transfusion. (Me that is)

2nd traumatic. Cord wrapped round DD1's neck twice. Ventouse delivery. Also didn't progress beyond 4cm but they broke my waters.

3rd perfect. Could've been a home delivery but for the first 2 births. MW wouldn't even let me use gas and air at the end when the mobile epi wore off.

4th calm. Twins were lying sideways with one of the cords over my cervix. They weren't stable cos they kept changing positions. Elective section with GORGEOUS anaethetist!

Go for it. No two births are the same. The second one could be sublime.

I wouldn't say 1st was 'traumatic' but I was induced which isn't great - long 2nd stage and ended up with ventouse, episiotomy and stitches. Felt like s**t afterwards.

2nd was super-quick, no pain relief, no assistance, no complications or anything - a doddle.

Thanks ladies! Keep the stories coming

1st awful..induction, ending in emergency C.
2nd fab.. emergency home birth - very straightforward, quick, and at home!

Hi jabberwocky, my second delivery was very traumatic, shoulder dystocia birth. Two years later i had my fourth child and it was a fantastic delivery, although labour was difficult as baby was posterior it was my first unassisted delivery. Emotionally it was very exhilirating as my previous delivery left me severly depressed and it almost felt like i had faced up to my fears and finally put the matter to bed.
I would say arm yourself with knowledge for this birth, particularly concerning the areas which were traumatic for you. I feel in situations like this the more knowledge you have the more confident you will feel in your own abilities. No two births are ever the same!! Good Luck xx

jabberwocky - I like this thread.

Had a scary first birth and now 37 weeks - so quite terrified!

First traumatic
Second quick and less intervention, but still tiring and painful

1st was somewhat traumatic. ds1 wasn't in distress during the labour, but it was very long and exhausting (50 hours), ds1 was finally delivered by ventouse in theatre (I was prepped for c/s in case), and he had the cord round his neck and had to go to special care. (they came and told us he was fine soon after he went so we were only left worrying for a few minutes IYSWIM).

2nd however was pretty awful too! Again ds2 wasn't in distress during the labour. But another very long labour. I did have a normal delivery and fewer stitches though, and ds2 was absolutely fine, no special care was required so we were allowed home that day which was lovely.

Don't know if that helps you at all!

I didn't feel particularly traumatised by childbirth and I don't know what happened to you so sorry if this is totally irrelevant. I did have a really awful time though because they were such long and tiring deliveries. I was actually offered a c/s for ds2 because my labour with ds1 had been so bad. I chose to have another child in the knowledge that I was likely to have problems again (the difficulties were partly due to my small pelvis) because I wanted a sibling for ds1. Having achieved that I never want to go through it again.

So, in the end I would say - how much do you want another child?

I think it was worth it BTW .

More and more as I consider it. My situation is complicated by the fact that I had Bell's Palsy at 35 weeks and there is a chance that I could have it again. That has been at least as big a factor as my birth experience!

I am the same as lockets
First birth (3yrs ago) - absolutely hideous, a nightmare
Second birth (14wks ago) beautiful experience! A totally wonderful afternoon that I would repeat with pleasure. So special that the thought that I probably won't have another one makes me so

jabberwocky, is the Bell's Palsy something that is likely to recur in subsequent pgs (have never heard of it as something that can be related to pg but correct me if I'm wrong). Maybe it's worth discussing with your GP?

sorry I have just read your post properly. Have been drinking!

Yes, have discussed it with him and we will probably do a neurology consult if or before I did become pregnant to discuss risks and tratment options.

"treatment"

Any more?

first delivery was awful - induced at 41 + 3 4pm on the Tuesday, DS1 was born at 11pm on Wednesday. I had an epidural and lots of issues with the induction and he was finally brought into the world in theatre by forceps, lots of stitches and , basically, very miserable all round
DS2, 20 months later, had my first contraction at 9pm when I was in the bath, got to hospital at 10.45pm and DS2 flew out at 11.10pm after 3 pushes with only the TENs machine for help

First was the birth from hell-second was a breeze!

First was no so great. Failed induction ending in an emergency section due to foetal distress. Second was a planned section and it was wonderful. With the second pregnancy I took a lot more control and demanded the care I wanted (method of delivery, hospital of choice, etc.) and the result was the birth I wanted.

Ooooh, I like your story Uwila. A second birth would almost assuredly be a planned section as I had emergency section with ds.

In that case, be prepared that you might need to put up a bit of a fight for it. The current NHS guideline is to discourage caesareans and recommend a VBAC. If you really want the planned section, they'll give it to you at 39 weeks. And, of course, different hospitals have different policies so it's worth researching the stats on wher you are going to go. Also, if don't want to go the hospital in whose catchment you reside, start talking to your GP the day you find out you are pregnant!! www.birthchoice.co.uk is a good place to look at stats.

First was pants! 27 hours, in hospital, DS born in theatre 90 secs away from c section.

Second was fantastic. Home water birth, 2 hours 30 mins from start to finish. Excellent.

My first was a complete nightmare and ended up in an emergency cs. It took me ages to get over the stress and trauma of it. With my second I stood my ground and insisted I wanted a planned cs. It was completely different, a great experience, no problems this time with breastfeeding, much calmer baby which I'm sure was no coincidence. No bad memories to get rid of this time!

I wouldn't describe either of mine as traumatic. but they were quite stressful. Objectively they were very similar. Both times I had meconium in the waters, and laboured for 9 hours before having emergency cs due to fetal distress and failure to progress.

When I had dd1, I found the Caesarean scary and was literally shaking with fear. When I first saw dd1 after the birth, I felt so disoriented and disconnected that I though she was someone else's baby. I can't remember feeding her for the first time, either.

With dd2, although the labour and birth were physically similar it felt like a very different experience. I felt so much more in control because I knew what to expect. I found the cs exciting, and my first sight of dd2 as she was lifted out of my belly was a magic moment and just as it should be.

Okay, I'm a little bit disappointed I didn't get a VBAC but my philosophy is to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.