I had a bowel resection back in March. I was ill for a long time before they finally agreed to do a colonoscopy and very very sick. By the time the tumor was removed, it was T4. Involvement in the lymph nodes in the bowel with one rupture.
My recurrence risk is between 35-40%, with recurrence most likely in the first two years.
About a week ago I noticed a lump on my neck just above the collar bone. I had also noticed that I was getting fatigued again in a way I hadn't been for a while.
I went to the GP on Monday and she noted that it was a swollen lymph node, pretty big. She felt around the area and said she could feel more swollen nodes.
Yesterday, my CEA results from the 7th September came back and my level is raised. It was 3.6 in July and now it 5.1, which is higher than it was before the bowel resection when it was 4.6.
I've had an urgent referral to Head and Neck, which is still three weeks away.
I can't help but think the worst. I'm so sad. I have been trying so so hard to recover everything I lost from the first cancer, in terms of fitness. I used to be so fucking fit. Bouldering, cycling, advanced yoga.
This last week, I just want to lie down all the time again.
I'm back staying at my dad's since the surgery and I keep thinking I'm going to die in the same fucking hospital I was born in.
The lymph nodes have gotten bigger since I noticed them. I can feel multiple with my fingers now.
Fuck this shit, etc.