New camping rules.

[Mysterian]

Anybody fryng bacon in the morning must give other people a bit on request.

Anybody playing music past limit in the evening can be shot with a crossbow.

No neon orange tents.

No acting too cheerful before 8am.

Reiterating for addition to new 'MN campsite 'rules .... No Bunting , And No flags .... especially those pronouncing which bit of the country you are from and No any whirly swirly kite-y things on poles) . These are all Officially Naff. ... ( And no one cares if you are English , Irish, Scottish, Welsh , etc )

One Small windmill will be allowed if stuck into the ground no more than 12inches from awning space..
One solar light or string of lights per unit only . ( But only If you really must)

Do not leave any food residue or bits in the washing up sink (yuk, bleugh) This applies to all campsites ...

What!?
Re No. 2

Children running around and screaming before 9am right by other people's pitch will be shot immediately.

Correct terminology will be encouraged: They are GUY ROPES not guide ropes. As many Facebook campers seem to think.

*Correct terminology will be encouraged

Agreed. Somebody needs to tell the sellers of boutique bell tents that “protector covers” are properly known as “fly sheets” and have been since at least the 19th century.

Thank you @SuperCamp. Someone 'corrected' my guy ropes recently. I may have stamped my foot in indignation.

We’re adults, you’re allowed to type “shit” 😂 Fuck you can even swear if you bloody want too!

You should have heard my language when I saw the shower turd 🤣🍸

Can I add an extra category to the no massive flappy flag rule?
Anyone who erects a huge flashing neon pole with dazzling chaser lights up it and leaves it on all night, or at all, will be electrocuted with it.

I have a problem with long tethered dogs wandering over and nosing through my flaps.
<breezy idiot next door neightbour> is that bothering you <tinkly laugh>

Yes it fucking is.

It's also annoying when a dog on a long lead sniffs around and in the tent porch. In fairness, not as unacceptable as the above scenario.

I have a problem with long tethered dogs wandering over and nosing through my flaps.

Wouldn't we all!

That dog is off to Room 101.

And any dog (plus owner) loose or on a long enough lead to get close enough to piss on your tent.