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Camping

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Original poster

New camping rules.

62 replies

Mysterian · 02/08/2022 08:42

Anybody fryng bacon in the morning must give other people a bit on request.

Anybody playing music past limit in the evening can be shot with a crossbow.

No neon orange tents.

No acting too cheerful before 8am.

OP posts:
RomainingCalm · 02/08/2022 12:51

Anyone using one of the limited shower cubicles for carrying out a full 30min 'wash-dress-moisturise-cream-brush-makeup-hairstyle' routine is automatically ejected after 10mins. Particularly when there's a queue of people at 8am.

And from last week... If you have several small DC that clearly still need help with showering please don't put one of them in each available cubicle and stand outside shouting jolly words of encouragement at them while everyone else has to wait.

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 02/08/2022 13:14

Mumblechum0 · 02/08/2022 09:45

This thread is reminding me why I will never ever ever ever ever ever go camping

Me too!!!
My camping days are well and truly behind me!

Florin · 02/08/2022 13:49

5am is not a suitable time to let your toddler play and scream and run around outside the tent. This was us at the weekend, we had a quiet polite word with the Dad when we got up in the morning who looked most put out that we thought 5am was too early.

SuperCamp · 02/08/2022 14:24

Mysterian, could I ask more about the neon orange tents? Surely the lovely classic orange canvas Force Ten tents are allowed and the glorious retro frame tents of the 60s , 70s and 80s?

Original poster
Mysterian · 02/08/2022 16:31

Neon orange tents. I was once camped in a bootiful spot. Trees and wavy grass going downhill to a lake. Scenic as fuck. Along came a garish orange tent and suddenly my eyes were always drawn to it. The ugly erection just screamed "look at me!" It was like a supermodel with Orville the duck tattooed on their chin. Not matter how hard you try to look at the beauty, your eyes always go back to the ugly.

I'd also like to bring in a toilet proficiency test. Seems some people just can't use them properly.

OP posts:
Iamnotavicar · 02/08/2022 16:43
  1. If you let your dog sh1t randomly across the site then you must eat the droppings
  2. If you take a sh1t in the shower cubicle, ditto
  3. If you keep me awake past 11.00pm then you will be evicted immediately
  4. Caravans and tents grouped together with a communal bar which doesn't shut until 4.00am will be torched
Milliways · 02/08/2022 18:07

Any stray Footballs crashing (with denting force) into Tents/Cars/vans will be confiscated - use the designated play areas!

Anyone caught leaving a toilet cubicle in an unacceptable state should have a shift cleaning the whole block. This applies to parents who let their kids go unattended who then leave a mess.

if you are going to have watching others erect tents and awnings as your entertainment, at least don’t make it so obvious (those who set their chairs up in prime viewing spots) or should be made to give a solo demonstration on how it’s done.

ThickCutSteakChips · 02/08/2022 18:13

A shit in the shower cubicle?!

SuperCamp · 02/08/2022 18:18

Any stray Footballs crashing (with denting force) into Tents/Cars/vans will be confiscated - use the designated play areas!

Woolly liberal do-gooder.

Any such footballs will be rammed up the parents arses. Covered in chilli sauce.

SuperCamp · 02/08/2022 18:31

Mysterian I do sympathise over eyesore tents, and mine have always been green, if poly, or canvas colour, precisely to not fight the natural world which for me is the whole point of camping.

Personally I hate bright blue tents.

But I have to lobby for these classic beauties to be allowed www.blacksofgreenock.co.uk/27-force-ten-classics (maybe as they are small, could be allowed under the cover of trees? ).

And this sort of thing. www.ebay.co.uk/itm/265228016008?var=0&mkevt=1&mkcid=1&mkrid=710-53481-19255-0&toolid=10050&campid=5338358731&customid=EAIaIQobChMI7Lmetteo-QIVQ-7tCh3jwAbcEAQYASABEgKNMfD_BwE

Maybe in specially designated seaside zones?

Iamnotavicar · 02/08/2022 19:45

ThickCutSteakChips · 02/08/2022 18:13

A shit in the shower cubicle?!

Yes, one of the things I saw last year 🤮

Riapia · 02/08/2022 20:01

No whistling.
No orgasms.

At any time of day or night.

SuperCamp · 02/08/2022 20:05

I think Mumsnet needs its own campsite.

Oblomov22 · 02/08/2022 20:11

Disagree though. No sharing, 20 years of camping. Someone else's bacon always smells better than yours. Even if you are cooking superior quality bacon.

Oblomov22 · 02/08/2022 20:14

No music playing. Period.
No strumming of guitar. Kumbayah my fucking lord.

Hawkins001 · 02/08/2022 20:18

Reading with intrigue

FourChimneys · 02/08/2022 20:35

No children
No dogs
No music
No frying
No BBQs
Everyone in bed and no talking after 10.00 pm

This is why I never camp. No site would meet my standards.

Artichokeleaves · 02/08/2022 20:48

SuperCamp · 02/08/2022 20:05

I think Mumsnet needs its own campsite.

I am not however going to the AIBU field. You'd be searched on entry for a toilet brush, policed as to how long you could make any chicken last for meals, and expected to be naice while other people's children burn your tent down and your MiL eats your first born.

PuttingDownRoots · 02/08/2022 20:49

Will I be allowed to the MN campsite with a bright blue tent?

Paq · 02/08/2022 20:53

No one is allowed to look as clean, fresh, ironed and groomed at 8am as that woman I saw on the campsite on Saturday.

No performative yoga.

Original poster
Mysterian · 02/08/2022 21:37

Muted coloured tents or earthy neutral tones. Nothing too garish.

Maybe start a board that issues camping licenses to children and dogs. The subjects have to appear before a panel who decides if they're too aggressive or "feisty" or "free spirited".

Litter bugs to be removed from the site by trebouchet.

OP posts:
SuperCamp · 02/08/2022 21:38

PuttingDownRoots · 02/08/2022 20:49

Will I be allowed to the MN campsite with a bright blue tent?

Yes, you can pitch behind a small thicket.

SuperCamp · 02/08/2022 21:44

There will be soundproofed pods so that the parents of roaring toddlers at 3am can swiftly remove them and suffer alone, leaving everyone else in peace.

TicTac80 · 02/08/2022 21:48

Oh I love this thread!!!

SuperCamp · 02/08/2022 22:01

I will make Brownies in my Dutch Pot over the campfire and invite you all over for marshmallows and wine.

Sorry about the fire Fourchimneys but there will be a smoke-free field too.