Breastfeeding struggles - newborn

[Daisysimply]

Looking for some breastfeeding advice please. I’ve just had my second daughter, she is currently a week old. I successfully breastfed my first for 2 years although we did really struggle to begin with. I thought this time round would be so much easier and it is in ways however we are still struggling. She has a really shallow latch which despite following midwives advice doesn’t appear to be improving - it is making me rather sore. She also has this habit of falling asleep whenever I put her on the breast. Will have a couple sucks then fall asleep so feel like she’s not getting a nice long feed. Last issue is the constant hiccuping and grunting. I know newborns are noisy but I can’t help but feel like she’s in some sort of discomfort. If anyone has any advice on any of the points it would be very much appreciated. I’m determined to carry on.

Just don’t be so ‘determined’ that she doesn’t get fed.
A fed baby is a happy baby. BF os not the be all and end all, and you now have two children to consider. You will still need to spend 1-1 time with you oldest and be well for them both, not stressed about whether your plans are going your way. Every baby is a minefield and what worked for one may just not suit the other.

Love how the first response invalidates your desires to breastfeed.

Give the NCT infant feeding line a ring or look for local breastfeeding groups (I’m volunteering at one today, Friday is a popular day for them) and get some qualified support. You can always take partners and older children with you to groups.

Also have a look at laid back breastfeeding. That position supports all of babies reflexes to do with feeding. It can help them get a deeper latch.

if she’s falling asleep, strip her down and tickle her feet. You can also try breast compressions while feeding.

was she born before 39 weeks? If so check out Kathryn Stagg’s the great pretenders episode of makes milk podcast.

Mostly though get some qualified support.

and congratulations on your baby :)

Have you had her checked for tongue tie? If she has a shallow latch that could be why and it’s harder for them to feed so they get tired. Even if your midwife/HV think she doesn’t it would still be worth getting her seen by a tongue tie specialist.

You could also try hand expressing a little before latching her on so that she doesn’t have to work as hard to get milk at the start of the feed.

Pumping a little will keep your supply up if you feel she really isn’t feeding enough to stimulate supply. I wouldn’t necessarily feed her expressed milk from a bottle yet unless you have to, or it’s likely to make the problem worse.

Another vote for getting her properly checked for Tongue Tie. All of this could just be normal newborn behaviour but if you have a shallow latch, you’re sore and she’s windy it could all point to her not being able to access the milk properly through Tongue Tie.

There’s a list of TT practitioners here.

I’d also look at laid back nursing as it may help with her latch.

This video from Dr Jack Newman shows how to get a better latch and this one shows breast compressions.

I do agree too with calling one of the Breastfeeding Helplines.

You're doing exactly the right thing though by asking for help and support by lot letting things build up until they’re unbearable.

Congratulations on your new LO

Please find your local lactation consultant led support group. Search for "IBCLC + <your area>", or use the LCGB website which has a find an IBCLC function. It sounds like your baby is not latching deeply enough, but without seeing her I can't assess why. It could be a tongue mobility issue (did your older one have a TT?), but equally could just be that your positioning needs a tweak - this is something I see often with mums who fed a toddler, they forget how much guidance a newborn needs.

Agree with others. Tongue tie check and laid back feeding - takes some work but amazing when you get the hang of it. Also I remember finding ‘flipple technique’ and ‘exaggerated latch’ generated helpful terms when googling, watch videos about it.

What helped me was flopping/folding my breast into open mouth so baby got a bigger mouthful but agree tongue tie is one to check.

Stripping down is a good suggestion too and I was told to do that by my midwife.

Please don’t listen to those so quick to say move to a bottle. Hope it improves :)

Not helpful at all. If a baby was struggling with a bottle would you suggest the mother breastfeed? OP wants to and is breastfeeding - help her do that.

Not everyone wants to or thinks bottle feeding is the alternative without exhausting all other options.

I would suggest trying alternative bottles - there are so many. Different angles, different anything. Being closed minded won’t help anyone.

Why would the OP try alternative bottles when she is breastfeeding.

She doesn’t bottle feed and isn’t using bottles so why would this be helpful.

It isn’t close minded to want to breastfeed, actually breastfeed and not want to bottle feed.

Perhaps it’s close minded to think she can’t succeed at breastfeeding and that the only alternative is to give a bottle.

For many women bottle feeding isn’t an option unless necessary and the OP isn’t there.

YouTube is a good place to see positioning to help encourage a deeper latch and winding positioning. My dd sounded like a barn yard grunting and squeaking eventually grew out of it just a newborn thing.

See if you can get a appointment to check for tounge tie.

How are you both getting on this afternoon @Daisysimply?

How is her weight? How many wet and dirty nappies?

This is why our bf rates are so low.

any issue is “well don’t breastfeed then”

I was told multiple times to “stop being a martyr” and switch to formula, right from day 1. It was actually going very well, just ignorant people who thought that cluster feeding meant the baby was “starving”.

i got proper advice, reassurance there was nothing wrong, and bf fine for 2 years.

o/p I am sure others have given great advice. Take all the help you can get and I hope it works out for you.

Thank you everyone for the advice and kind words. Today has been ok - still struggling with the latch but have spoken to the midwife and we are going for an appointment tomorrow. Mentioned about tongue tie which my first had and they are going to check for that tomrorow as well. Just had a bit of a moment this afternoon where it’s all started feeling a bit much. She is just like my first in the sense of constantly feeling like I’m breastfeeding or worrying about breastfeeding and I’m feeling guilty about not spending enough time with my toddler. She’s still seems in discomfort to me as well with the constant hiccups and grunting after feeds. Has been pulling away mid feed as well several times unsettled. I know this is just a hard phase and it will pass just like it did with my first but it feels so overwhelming at the moment

I had my baby at the start of the 6 weeks school holidays and had to wait for term to restart for the local breast feeding cafe to reopen. They did the most tiny of adjustments to my feeding position and all was well, after crying my way through the first few weeks. Not saying your baby’s struggles are that minor of course, but take all the help you can get from the professionals and hopefully one of them can get you back on track - you’re both doing so well and you’ll get there

Having a bit of a moment is pretty normal, bless you. As are the feelings of guilt about your other DC. You’ve had a whole new human join the family and it can be overwhelming.

Hope the appointment goes well tomorrow. Is the person that you’re seeing a trained Tongue Tie Practitioner? If not I would not take what they say about Tongue tie as Gospel. We were told so many times that everything was ok only for me to realise DC1 had a whacking TT when I joined MN a couple of years later.

"Hope the appointment goes well tomorrow. Is the person that you’re seeing a trained Tongue Tie Practitioner? If not I would not take what they say about Tongue tie as Gospel"

Completely and utterly this. You should know that midwives, paediatricians and lactation consultants are NOT TRAINED routinely to identify and diagnose tongue tie. Please ask whoever is assessing if they have a tongue tie qualification, and if they don't then take whatever they say with a huge pinch of salt and get someone properly qualified to assess it.

From what you say it does sound as though this may be the issue unless your little one was born particularly early and/or at a low birthweight. Get professional help from a respected local IBCLC consultant 0 ideally one who is also a midwife and/ or tongue tie practitioner so you'll know they really know their onions.

Just here to third getting a proper tongue tie assessment from someone qualified. Ours was missed by two midwives and a doctor in hospital despite it being quite severe!
I hope breastfeeding gets easier for you soon. The early days are rough!

You are doing amazingly. You’re going to feel guilty about your eldest whether feeding was going great or not. Don’t worry about that, it’s natural. You’ve both had a big change.

It’s really hard not to worry about feeding when something your body has done unconsciously for months is suddenly a conscious effort. It’s ok to find it hard. It doesn’t mean it will always be hard. That is Easy to say, hard to feel, I know.

I won’t reiterate the excellent advice PP have given about tongue tie specialist and different positions. I would just add to try lying down so when baby naps she can drink then too.

Give yourself and baby some time to get used to each other and feeding. It’s only been a week.

Your baby may have colic regardless of how well they feed. Some babies do. Try not to worry. Again - easier said than done!

You are doing amazingly and baby will get it and be fine!!!