Breastfed successfully? What helped? What hindered?

[Sabire]

In my case......
What helped: DH knew as little about breastfeeding as me (ie - nothing!) with dd1, but had the wisdom to tell me to take one day at a time, was kind and loving, and NEVER suggested throwing in the towel, which would have really shaken my confidence. It took me 5 weeks to get to grips with it but I went on to breastfeed for 18 months.

What hindered: Err... knowing NOTHING, dd's tiny mouth which made latching on really hard, and DH's best friend's wife, who in trying to be helpful kept saying 'you've done really well, don't feel guilty if you stop now'. She'd stopped bf with her first at 6 weeks and never bf at all with her second. She meant well, but I think her advice was more about what was going on in her own heart than about what I needed to hear.

I had a horrible start but ended up feeding for 14 months and loving it.

What helped:
Rock solid support from DP. He never once suggested I give up, though it was killing him even more than me I think.
Friends who had gone through similar shakey starts, and who were honest and encouraging.
Lansinoh.
A feeding cushion.

What hindered:
Not asking for help soon enough, persistently enough or loudly enough.

what helped:
-dh doing all the housework etc in the beginning
-family being used to it so no-one had any issues and everyone knew what to expect in terms of how long I would need
-La Leche League book
-nipple shields as recommended by LLL book for problems latching on while engorged
-HVs/midwives suggesting different positions etc
-expressing so I could have a break
-my complete lack of self-consciousness about whipping norks out anywhere and everywhere
-lovely weather (because it's much more pleasant to bf in the open air in July than January, I discovered).

what hindered:
-not knowing very much
-having to go back to work before 6 months

What helped

• sheer dumb luck. Both dd's took to it naturally and settled for about 3hrs between feeds from the get go.

• being shown how to feed lying down after my 1st c/s

• dh and I naturally assuming I would do nothing but bf for a week or two. I did zero housework, cooking etc (much to mil's )

• Lansinoh

• Kellymom.com

_ Seeing lots of other women bf in various baby groups etc so it felt normal.

• sensible hv who didn't flap when dd1 slid down the centiles at 4 months.

What hindered

• Can't think of anything really. i've been very lucky.

Yup family support all the way (I can't think how hard it must be if you're faced with a family on either side who think its 'wrong' for one reason or the other, it must be so hard on the new mum to keep going) and a real focus to want to feed my baby as an extension of the growing she had been doing inside me for the past 9 months, it was part and parcel of the baby deal for me (but the bleeding nipples still were a shock!)

helped:
utter bloody-mindedness that it was going to work
MW I'd never met before (or since) popping in and helping with latch in response to phonecall that dc wouldn't feed
nipple-shields - they got things going, I fed with them for about 2 days and then without for nearly 2 years.

not sure what didn't help - mainly because I was determined to bf and never really considered not bf.

What helped:

Not putting expectations on myself about how/if I'd do it. Decided I'd like to give it a go and give it my best shot - ended up feeding for nearly a year.

However, what helped most was v helpful midwife spending most of my second night in hospital getting DD to latch on - if I'd been at home I really think I wouldn't have known what to do.

Family support was essential too, am sure IL's secretly thought I was being possessive over DD as I used to feed her for hours at a time in the early days when they wanted to hold her, MIL had bf her DD so had some idea of what it would take

Also, same as Kathy - no self-consciousness about feeding in pubic - if DD needed feeding then I was quite happy to do it anywhere...

What helped - breast feeding workshop a couple of weeks before DD was born. After the birth I found that positioning was SO important for me, bad position painful nipps good position no problem. A boppy cushion. Kamillosan

What hindered - nothing really except poor postioning.

Very lucky to have been able to, but the second time it did hurt for several days at the start. I'm not sure why, he was positioned fine, it just hurt. I hadn't expected that.

starting them both off within an hour of being born, I think that helped. Skin to skin, not even going and getting washed, they both just did it themselves a bit like that Breast Crawl video.

Hindered: Nowhere to do it in town without buying expensive coffee. And even then there were lots of starers.

What helped - determination, lansinoh, supportive family and DH, the way DS was very happy to lie next to me in bed and feed while I slept on my side, lack of self consciousness about feeding in public (my secret weapon was H&M camisole tops which I wore under everything - whilst I was not even slightly bothered about flashing my boobs, I was less relaxed about displaying two inches of flabby belly!) the thought of the hassle of sterilising bottles, faffing round with formula (particularly at night) and having to carry said bottles and formula everywhere we went.

Hindered - nothing really, like ProfYaffle, very lucky.

Things that have helped me breastfeed DS for 3.4 years & counting:

• DH fully supporting my want/need to bf & not offering formula every time & said I wanted to quit trying.
• LLL group that gave me to motivation to want to get DS back feeding from me & not from a bottle
• LLL leader who gave me loads of help & suggestions to keep my milk up & try & get DS feeding from me
• my hand breast pump that kept my supply going until DS could feed from me
• the nipple shields that got DS feeding from me after 6 weeks of expressing
• getting rid of the nipple shields after 3-4 months so I was able to feed in public without exposing myself quite so much
• Sheer bloodymindedness & determination that breastfeeding was the only way to go.
• Never having a bad comment about me breastfeeding from anyone
• Having the continued support of DH & other members of my family throughout over the past 3 years
• Having LLL meetings to go to every month to be able to relax & be myself completely

Things that hindered and almost ruined breastfeeding:

• Being in hospital (I had planned a homebirth but transferred in & then couldn't be discharged straight away because I had had an epi)
• not having any sleep after being in labour for 2 days & then being unable to sleep postnatally as I was too busy pumping & sterilising & worrying & rearranging my room trying to make it feel a little more like home.
• every midwife & HCP I saw whilst on the post-natal ward who all gave me completely different advice (much of which I have found out since to have been completely wrong & many of whom simply shoved DS's head onto my boob & left.
• having DS's blood sugars checked
• Not being allowed to cup feed DS in hospital
• Introducing a bottle (because of wanting to feed my own baby)
• The pain killers I was given postnatally
• The epidural I had during labour
• Being put into a 3 hourly routine by the feeding advisor

what helped-
after lasting no longer than 5 days with first 2 dc and getting very upset about it, i took this time one feed at a time.
spoke to a really good counseller before ds was born about my problems and concerns.
felt like i trusted her advice enough to tell well meaning people to bog off with their advice (well I smiled said thank you and ignored it!)
counted to 10 when ds latched on - if it still hurt took him off and started again. Previously had scabby nips - this time it didn't even go red.
Knew that if it all got too much could give a bottle and start again at the next feed - but didn't need to. got piles of Lansinoh that didn't use!
using pump when engorged before a feed

What hindered-
Feeling like I was hogging ds2 and dh not getting a look in.
Not getting a night off (dh did every weekend with the other 2) - slightly off set by the feeding on my side and falling asleep thing (this is a must to learn to do!)
trying to work out how to use a pump at 3am!

BF at 11months after a very shaky start (2 breast abcessess, mastitis x3 and lots of blocked ducts...

Helped
Complete determination. Also - had smelt formula milk previously and the smell made me heave!! I though - I can't give my poor baby that stuff!
After all the problems I had some fantastic advice from a BF specialist midwife who was wonderful and sorted me out completely.
Learning to beastfeed on my side at night so I could sleep whilst she fed.

Hindered
The lack of sleep....

What helped -

luck - have never had cracked nipples, mastitus, blocked ducts etc, all 3 were naturals at it
mixed feeding - this has helped me bf for longer as it takes the pressure off, plus ds pretty much refuses to bf in public due to extreme nosiness
seeing other mums doing it

What hindered -

none of my close friends of famly have done it so I feel bit freaky at times
dh keeps saying stop now
I want my boobs back to their usual size so I can go jogging and lose the remainder of baby weight !

But I'll keep going for now, as he may be my last and I've gone longer than did with the first two....so feel very proud.

What helped - was very lucky to not have had any problems from day one (despite DS being given a bottle straight after c-section and no help from mid-wives here in Spain)

• fantastic support from DP and family
• co-sleeping helped in the early days when DS was feeding loads
• gradually cutting down so I never felt at all put -ut by b-feeding. Went down to two feeds a day at 9 months and one feed a day from about 13 months (still b-feeding and DS is 17 months)

What hindered - monthly blocked ducts/mastitis from when DS was 6 until 11 months. Doctor told me to give up but couldn't bear the idea of it and perservered. That's all really!

Biggest help was support. Mumsnetters such as hunker sorted me out a few times IIRC . My mum was supportive. And DH was too. He would say "just one more feed and then make a decision" or "don't make a decision until morning/I come home".

Biggest hinderance was both babies being colicky and awful sleepers and no matter how much I tried/try to be rational, I kept/keep wondering if it was somehow my milk. Or if I wasn't feeding DD then she'd have to learn to settle for someone else or for longer.

helped: bf counsellors.
Also, everyone who cares about me either being activley supportive, or else buttoning their lips, even though I know they were so worried for the very tough time I went through.

didn't help: having well-meaning visitors when I just needed to be naked and 'retreat'.

helped; a nice easy baby who latched on well, fed well and was reasonably settled inbetween feeds
hindered; a jealous toddler who played me up something rotten and then gradually my teeth started to wobble so i gave it up before they fell out completely!

Helped - being waited on hand and foot by amazing husband
Trying out various positions
No caring in the slightest about housework!
Warm baths - lots of.
Lansinoh
Cabbage leaves! I know this may be a myth, and was prob just placebo effect, but worked well for me.
Being a bit bloody-minded
Being way too selfish to let anyone else try to feed her!
Luck - she cracked it pretty early, and was really good.

Hindered - not realising I could learn to feed lying down. Hated sitting up at 3am almost falling over with tiredness when I could have had my head down.
No-one being really able to see what was wrong with her latch.

this helped
NCT breast feeding helpline really helped
dp's insistance we keep at it
a drug called donperidone
hired electric pump

this hindered
conflicting advice
not knowing what to expect
ds losing 1/3 body weight in first 5 days then being rushed to hospital and intubated.
next 10 weeks battling to reestablish supply and bannish formula

kept going for 14 months, am so glad i did. now ttc no.2!

Helped:

Finding the infant feeding coordinator at the local hospital and getting her help with crappy latch. Most hospitals have one MW who is expert on bfing.
Joining bf support groups and meeting other Mums who were breastfeeding
Lansinoh
Sheila Kitzinger book "Breastfeeding your Baby" (bit out of date now but still lovely and loads of excellent pictures!)
Learning to feed lying down (I have never looked back!)
Mumsnet of course
Lovely friends who I met in bf support group and here on MN
Kellymom

Hindered:
Dh who thought I should be able to combine bfing with perfect sparkly clean house and tea on the table
Mil who agreed with him, said I wasn't doing enough round the house, constantly said "he's not hungry! He needs a dummy!" and would even physically take ds from me give him a dummy and say, "you can get on with the housework now can't you?"
"Bestfeeding" the book - it made me so paranoid I was doing it wrong when ds was comfort sucking (the book never really mentions comfort sucking sees it as the sign of something wrong).
All of the other mws I saw (except infant feeding coordinator in "helped" section)

God, I found breastfeeding sooo hard for the first 2 weeks. Take each day as it comes and at the end of each day, praise yourself. I wanted to give up everyday and just couldn't understand why any woman would put themselves through it.
Daughter is now 11 weeks and breast feeding is easy and she is thriving. I'm so pleased I stuck at it.

dd only 12 weeks, but really enjoying bf so..

helped;
dd being mad about booby
dp and mother being super supportive
not worrying what others said
my medula pump thing that made it so easy to bottle feed her if needed

hindered;
horrible grandmother saying things like ' your aunt couldnt breastfeed, and she felt like she had failed' and the worst ever ' what do you want saggy boobs for' my response was, whats your excuse then? and my unborn child is more important than my bloody boobs!

im 23 which makes people think they have the right to lecture me! grrr!
Breastfeeding, i can honestly say has been one of the best decisions ive made! i have been so surprised at how well its gone, fingers crossed i dont get any probs

xx

Bfing 5 month old still

What helped:
Mumsnet! Asking q's on here all the time
Going to a bfing group nearly everyweek
A thermal mug so I could have a cup of tea while bfing
BT vision box so I could watch specially selected trash while bfing
Determination that I was going to fo it and optimism that it would get better
A very supportive DH (except for about a week when it got to much and he wanted me to stop which he is now v contrite about)
Mucho support from my mumsnet postnatal group

What hindered:
Not asking for help in hospital for the first 24hours - thought I was doing it right so the MW assumed I was - bleeding nips suggested otherwise
My mother - nuff said
Just generally not having a frickin clue what I was doing!

Helped:
NCT & BFN helplines
Lansinoh
DH who really believed in me BF and learned lots about it
Having a CS (felt I'd failed so DETERMINED to BF at all costs) & for DS1 having my own room in hospital & lots of support for 5 days to get BF established after CS. Completely changed when I moved and had DS2&3 in different hospital: bloody war zone...
Getting gradually less concerned about NIP and more expert at concealment
Having babies with a barracuda suck

Hindered:
Having babies with a barracuda suck! combined with...
...not asking for help with latch early enough but also...
MWs in hospital too understaffed/baby boom so little expert help available & and insufficient extra help for women in hosp after C sections
thrush!

Still going strong at 11 months & loving it

What helped:
latching on DS asap after the birth - he fed for an hour.... a sign of things to come
My sister lending me her Xbox 360!
The first midwife to visit postnatally (luckily a bf counsellor) who was very supportive & showed me the rugby hold for feeding on the RH boob
Lansinoh
nipple shields for week 2!
avent pump
large circle of friends who have BF till 1 year +
work - no negatives about me expressing at work
the thought of faffing around with formula/bottles etc especially as DS still feeds 2 or 3 times per night
feeding him lying down in bed & co-sleeping (starts off in his cot each night!)
DS loving it!

Hindered:
(now ex) DH - found it highly embarassing, esp me feeding DS in the front pew during his Christening
MIL - when DS starts crying, comes out with the "Sorry, I can't do anything for you" (meaning, if you were on bottles, I could). And when I said I was fine feeding into toddlerhood & beyond & I didn't find anything strange/wrong with it, she replied "don't you?"