Breastfed successfully? What helped? What hindered?

[Sabire]

In my case......
What helped: DH knew as little about breastfeeding as me (ie - nothing!) with dd1, but had the wisdom to tell me to take one day at a time, was kind and loving, and NEVER suggested throwing in the towel, which would have really shaken my confidence. It took me 5 weeks to get to grips with it but I went on to breastfeed for 18 months.

What hindered: Err... knowing NOTHING, dd's tiny mouth which made latching on really hard, and DH's best friend's wife, who in trying to be helpful kept saying 'you've done really well, don't feel guilty if you stop now'. She'd stopped bf with her first at 6 weeks and never bf at all with her second. She meant well, but I think her advice was more about what was going on in her own heart than about what I needed to hear.

blimey saltcod, you must have a PhD in BF if you can Xbox while doing so...! how do I learn that then? Maybe I might manage DS1's Wii after Xmas, one handed (though don't wanna numchuck (sp?) the little guy - maybe not such a good idea...! )

What helped:

DH being totally committed to dd breastfeeding and encouraging me when I was feeling low.

My mother suggesting that I try an elimination diet to find what was causing dd's colic, instead of doing as home nurse said and start formula.

MIL reassuring me that every one of her children was a spindly little baby when first ped was giving me a scare over dd's slow gain. 6 years later, dd is the spit of her cousins, all very tall and thin.

LLL teaching me to bf laying down even though doctor said I couldn't because my norks are humongous!

Learning to bf dd in sling while walking around carrying on with life. Used to bf in the grocery while shopping and no one ever blinked!

What didn't help:

Nurse telling me to drink plenty of orange juice and eat a lot of yogurt. DD got gas from both and was a nightmare screamer.

Having huge norks that I had to hold off her face so as not to smother her.

Bf clinic who told me not to hold it off her face, that baby's noses have little "side channel" type styling to provide airway. Did as they said once and nearly lost the baby under the nork, practically just little waving arms and legs sticking out.

DD bf for 3 1/2 years

TERRAMUM

why did having your DS's blood sugars checked hinder breastfeeding and why weren't you allowed to cup feed?

I didn't know the painkillers and epidural could hinder. i thought it was just pethidine.

Helped: good midwives, my own assumption that I'd breastfeed, knowing other women who breastfed. (Especially second time round when I breastfed for much, much longer.)

Also the ability to ignore my partner when he made @rsey remarks (with the best of intentions, admittedly) about how it was draining me and how he wished I'd stop (this was when DD1 was coming up for a year and I was expressing a lot as well.)

Also I have no particular inhibitions about getting my norks out.

Monkeybird..... just need a feeding cushion, then playing on the XBox is easy peasy. We have the wireless controllers, from which you can even power up the machine
I hate to think how many hours I've clocked up playing while DS has been BFing It must be 1000s as he fed continuously with just a few 20-30 min occasional breaks for the first 4 months!

nappyaddict you asked:

"why did having your DS's blood sugars checked hinder breastfeeding and why weren't you allowed to cup feed?"
Because the result they showed resulted in the cascade of interventions like 3 hourly feeding, expressing, cup feeding, formula supplementing which all interfered with the nreastfeeding more than they helped. I spent less time with DS or resting as I was too busy expressing and sterilising the equipment, I wasn't allowed to cup feed what little I had expressed (my milk hadn't come in yet so no wonder ) as it was "too dangerous, the baby might choke" and it was "only to be done by qualified professionals in an emergency" .....didn't find out what total crap that was until afterwards. What I actually needed was someone to help DS latch on properly, but not one person managed it, and after they treated him so roughly on the first couple of days I stopped asking for help doing so ....even the hospital's 'feeding advisor' didn't even try to see us feed . Instead she sat by my bed lecturing me about the 'plan' whilst I cried because I was so tired . I have since found out that the blood sugar result wasn't anything to be worried about for a breastfed baby and tbh he should never have been tested in the first place.

"I didn't know the painkillers and epidural could hinder. i thought it was just pethidine."
Epidurals contain opiates so they can affect the baby and the mother just as much as pethidine. Apparently they affect the mum & baby for as much as a month after the birth. The pain killer I was given was co-codamol. not only did it interfere with my ability to tell whether DS was breastfeeding properly (it was only when I missed a dose that I noticed some after pains when he fed from me briefly & so I was able to tell that he was latched on ok), but I am pretty sure that they had an affect (along with the epi)on DS as well as he displayed a lot of problems feeding initially. I wasn't told it could cause problems at the time, despite specifically asking if it was safe to take when breastfeeding... although as their other breastfeeding knowledge was pretty non existent it doesn't surprise me that they didn't know.

Any intervention in birth whether that's drugs or instrument deliveries etc, can affect breastfeeding because they interfere with the natural bonding processes mammals need. I recently attended the LLL conference & heard Diane Wiessinger talk about mammals & birth & how they affect breastfeeding, it was very illuminating. Think about it - zoos & pet owners generally leave birthing animals well alone in their labours for fear that they might reject their babies....humans are mammals too

what helped-

reading LOADS before giving birth, especially 'bestfeeding' and kellymom, and jack newman stuff, and mumsnet of course!

having immediate skin to skin contact after birth, dd latched on in first 5 minutes.

having a relatively easy, calm labour and birth. she was posterior and 8 days late, but all worked out beautifully, had a fab midwife in the hospital who encouraged breast crawl.

decent midwives on post natal ward, some crap, but most very good. helped me with latch time and time again. wouldn't 'let' me go home until i did a feed on my own without help.

AND, perhaps most importantly, having dh take six weeks paternity leave.

what hindered-

my only regret is not feeding for longer. i stopped at 8 months when i went back to work evenings. wish i had just carried on, maybe expressed or whatever, but i just didn't think muh about it. wish i'd gone onto a year at least.

Very very interesting thread.
It would be great to link results in with Hunker's thread somehow.

Helped:
Knowing that I would never do owt but breastfeed
V supportive family and dh (agriculturalist who spurred me on by regaling me with tales of cows and sheep.Cheers mate...sort of.)
Understanding it would take time to get things right
The fantastic community midwives of North West Wales Health Trust who are 100% committed to improving b/feeding and homebirth rates.
A fair bit of wine.

Hindered:
Screaming colicky baby who shrieked for six hours solid every night unless sucking.
Bad back and shoulder
Dreadful thrush that made life am isery for weeks (although sorted by above mentioned MWs who git me the right dose of Fluconazole)
Nipple shields to tide me over a few nasty days

What helped

That I fed all straigth after birth, well they fed themselves...

And luckily I had no pain, found it straightforward enough at first.

What else helped was a very pro bf mother and family, my dp is also VERY supportive, not knowledgeable but totally committed to my feeding my 3 as long as I wanted.

Whenever I floundered, during growth spurts or those ragged times you get (biting to name one)... and threatened to quit to ff, he said... honey you know you'lll never do it, take an hour in the bath for yourself...

Helped: supportive dh and family, great, encouraging HV, access to a b/f counsellor, NCT antenatal friends who were all b/f. And, in the end, mixed feeding - dh started giving ds one bottle at night so I got a bit more sleep which made it easier to cope the rest of the time.l

Hindered: struggling to get a decent latch, cracked nipples and mastitis - only persevered because I was determined to give ds a chance to escape dh's multiple allergies.

I gather they have now changed the advice about positioning for mothers with more than their fair share of norkage. Wish it had happened before my time - I'm sure all that having to hold your breast with one hand to get the 'right' latch actually made it worse. Because as soon as you take the hand away...

terramum, your story sounds so familiar from what happened to my sister. You weren't in NE Derbyshire, by any chance, were you? Those evil midwives were doing everything they could to undermine her, while publicly proclaiming their commitment to b/f (yeah, right).

Edam,you reckon?
I am not huge in nork area (34c) but always always held on when i fed.Felt weird otherwise.Maybe that is why my back and arm are knackered?)

Frau,how did surgery and GP sabotage?

Helped:

DH approved on the grounds that [a] it excused him doing any feeding at all at night initially, and [b] it was less hassle and expense than bottles. Even bad reasons can work in a positive direction!

Dramatic, fast weight-loss around the stomach both times. Great for morale in those early weeks.

Long-term, buying a wardrobe for work of easy-wash jackets and cardis, as I'd leak pretty much every time I attended a meeting or a presentation. And the 'baby-poo colour' trousers came in v. handy at a conference when DD1's nappy exploded in front of 3 colleagues!

Hindered:

The smell, think Dairylea gone rancid, of baby vom in the bra area 24/7 for 14 months.

Not bring able to sleep on my stomach (immediate blocked ducts for me!)

HTH

lol at smell

fed ds1 mixed up toabout 12 weeks
ds2 still going - 3 in march

Hwat helped in no particular order:
sheer bloody mindedness
belief in my body
Mumsnet!!!!
watching'latchingon 'videos'
putting his earinthe crrokof my arms
learning tofeedlying down
acceptingthat I would not move much further than the sofa for the first month

what hindered:
ds1: severe and prolonged jaundice,longstay in SCBU and faith in nurses that he had to be'topped up' with formula - ledto BF vanishing gradually without me realising
ds1: not feeling compfortable feedig in public
cracked nipples (LANSINOH!!!!)
dreadful nights in the early days and then some - learnedto feed lyingdown

onemore that heled with ds2: holdthe norklikeaburger then offer

does that make any sense?

Are you pissed merry tonight Popsy?
Your typing is bonkers.

and another one that helpedintermsof positioning....acertainhold....where you lie them across, say you left arm, to offerthe right side leaving the right armfree for the burger hold....

I amsure there must be an official term

Not pissed
have bonkersworklaptop since ds2 dropped my proper one andthe plasmascreen got musged

I have to wind this oneup

almost

lol
So you claim...hick!

moondog just remindedmeof another helpful one

theknowledge that you can enjoy an nice glass of wine without poisoning your baby

Oh God yes.
After months of deprivation the thoguht of continuing with restricted diet would have killed me.
I was mildly pissed most evenings for the first three or four months.
I had to otherwise would have lost it completely as b/feeding was so so hard and difficult.

What helped
Absolute and utter determination to DO it. I never even considered bottle feeding.

keeping that thought at the forefront at all times.

a fairly good midwife with lots of top tips to make it easier.

Hindered.
my determination, it really and truly nearly killed me did breast feeding, it was 90% hell and 10% pleasure.