First time mum hoping to breastfeed

[peachypetite]

Hi all. Feeling a bit overwhelmed at all the conflicting advice I’ve been given and read! I want to breastfeed but I am worried about how tough it will be being the only one who can feed the baby so would like to express or use a haaka so my husband can bottle feed.
Do I need to get bottles etc in now or should I wait a bit to see how baby and I get on?

I believe the recommendation is not to express for the first 6 weeks or so as it takes that long for breastfeeding to be properly established. I would aim to EBF to start off with and then have a go at expressing & introducing a bottle once you're in the swing of things a bit more.

I guess I’m worried if I leave it too long to introduce a bottle the baby will reject it!

@peachypetite

I guess I’m worried if I leave it too long to introduce a bottle the baby will reject it!

Yep, it's a risk. But DS rejected a bottle at a week old so 🤷.

@peachypetite

I guess I’m worried if I leave it too long to introduce a bottle the baby will reject it!

It's a risk but it doesn't matter.

My son was combi fed and swapped happily between, my daughter was EBF and refused all bottles. I introduced them at the same time in the same way. The EBF feeding was way easier than the combi feeding.

For now, read up on the 4th trimester and normal infant behaviour. I really recommend a book called your baby week by week. Super helpful and easy to access.

The first few weeks of breastfeeding are hard and knackering, but that's the same however you feed. Bottles are great but don't solve every problem.

I breastfed and by day 3 I was exhausted. I was going to give up. So I expressed and tried him with a bottle, and it worked! He swapped happily between them for a few months 😊 I truly believe expressing when I did saved my breastfeeding journey.

I'd say it's not worth risking good establishment of breastfeeding to introduce a bottle early, IYSWIM. Easier to add in a bottle later (I'd wait at least 6 weeks), than risk confusing a newborn with a bottle as well as the breast - they work completely differently!

Good luck. The first month can be hard for some mothers (and not all for others), but it's totally worth persevering with. Go for it!

(Personally I found expressing (and storing/freezing/sterilising/reheating ) a massive faff, far more hassle than it was worth for me.)

My top tip - buy and read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding published by La Leche League ASAP. There's also loads of great support and knowledge on here, no matter what your breastfeeding journey ends up looking like

@HBGKC

(Personally I found expressing (and storing/freezing/sterilising/reheating ) a massive faff, far more hassle than it was worth for me.)

I completely agree, sterilising the pump, finding at least 20 minutes to pump a decent amount. Then storing / freezing / defrosting / sterilising bottles. All of that was time out of my day. Plus if anyone fed the baby an expressed bottle then I'd start to feel engorged and want to pump anyway. I was super passionate about breastfeeding long term and I expressed only to allow me key time away from baby (friends wedding, hen do etc) If you're feeling overwhelmed at being the only one to feed then put your partner on nappy / laundry / cooking your meals duty. There's lots he can do to take the pressure off you whilst allowing you to do all feeds.

"If you're feeling overwhelmed at being the only one to feed then put your partner on nappy / laundry / cooking your meals duty. There's lots he can do to take the pressure off you whilst allowing you to do all feeds."

YY to all this! A much better way of looking at it.

@HBGKC I mean particularly through the night!

[quote peachypetite]@HBGKC I mean particularly through the night![/quote]
Breastfeeding during the night is a lot easier than bottles.

Pick baby up, feed, put down vs get up, make bottle, feed, wind, put baby down.

There will be bad nights with cluster feeding. Having hubby help with all household chores so you can sleep in the day is ideal.

Bottles are twice the work. It’s not as simple as “express so someone else can feed”.

You’ve got to sterilise the pump and bottles. You have to express, which takes twice as long as feeding, if you’re a lucky one who can get anything out at all. Then your dh feeds, and you have all the washing and resterilising.

Not to mention that to keep your supply up you should really express every time your baby has a bottle, especially at night as that is when milk stimulating hormones are produced.

Far, far easier just to feed from the breast.

If you’re exhausted sit on the sofa or in bed and feed and nap. Get your dh to cook, clean, take the baby for walks. Much more use to you than sitting on his arse feeding while you prepare bottles.

People seem to have this obsession with feeding. Someone else feeding the baby was way down on my list of helpful, when I could feed myself in a fraction of the time.

I breastfed and by day 3 I was exhausted. I was going to give up. So I expressed and tried him with a bottle, and it worked

I am happy it worked for you, but I genuinely don’t understand how expressing and then feeding from a bottle is less exhausting?

Surely it’s quicker and easier just to breastfeed?

It is indeed easier to breastfeed in the middle of the night than make up a bottle but that's not much comfort when you're getting up every 2 hours to do it. OP, I agree you are being wise to think about how you can share the load on this. Expressing is easy for some people and hard for others so I'd give it a try and go with trying to get your baby to take a bottle as well as breastfeed.

Mumsnet is a bit anti this but I know several people who successfully combi fed so I wouldn't rule it out if you're struggling to express and need a break.

Alternatively, you might get a baby that sleeps through really early on so it might not be an issue! Fingers crossed for you

Hi OP,
I'm 6 days into breastfeeding my 2nd child.
With my first I was adamant that he wouldn't have any formula for 6 months and he only received breast milk either from me or expressed in a bottle. It was so so hard, exhaustion, undiagnosed tongue tie leading to nipple trauma and OMG it hurt for the first few weeks. But, I kept going and fed him until he was 2.

This time I have decided to be kinder to myself and new baby is receiving a small amount of formula via a syringe whilst I sleep. This has enabled me to sleep and therefore feel better about myself and my decisions. 90% of the milk is direct from my breast still.
I am using the Thompson Method - have a google and see what you think.
Remember, millions of babies worldwide have thrived on formula and millions of pounds spent on research to ensure that it is as good as science can make it.
Being a new parent is hard, use whatever tools are available to you. You will know what is best for you and for baby.

I don't get the obsession either. I EBF mine and there was loads of stuff my DH did. Night time nappy changes, ours were windy so half the time awake at night was winding. Feeding was definitely the easiest bit. We tag teamed. Expressing, storing, sterilising, etc is a massive faff as others have said. Fine if you decide that's what you want to do but it might not be the most convenient option.

@bluebluezoo not obsessed just a first time mum looking for advice. No need to be so bitchy.

[quote peachypetite]@bluebluezoo not obsessed just a first time mum looking for advice. No need to be so bitchy.[/quote]
I don't think that was aimed personally at you. I think it was a general comment.

I've heard so often about wanting to express so daddy can feed.

Four weeks of EBF was enough for us. Then we added one bottle of formula per day for DH to do a feed in the middle of the night so I could sleep for longer. It saved my sanity! I honestly don't know why this isn't routinely advised as a good idea it's amazing when they can feed the baby too! The sleep at night but also so good for getting regular breaks in the day/go out for dinner with friends etc.

Yeah sorry I wasn't being direct I was replying to the other post in a more general way

And there’s nothing wrong with that surely.

I am a FTM and it was hard going for the first 3 months but once you get going you really really reap the rewards. I used to pump to increase my milk supply. Pumping is really boring. You sit there for 30 mins each time and then u have to clean all those bottles and store the milk, warm it up etc.
After a stressful 3 months of breastfeeding I am now really happy I stuck to it. I ditched the pump after month 3, breastfeeding only. My baby can feed fully for 5 mins and she is done. Such a time saver and you can do it anytime and anywhere.

You don’t have to make any decisions now, and any decision you do make is not set in stone. You can change your mind in the middle of the night and send DP out to the supermarket to buy a bottle and some formula if you want!
Just don’t make too many plans for the first few weeks until you get it sorted out. Make sure you look after yourself, make sure you are eating well and drinking lots. Give breastfeeding a try and see how it goes, if it works then great, if you’re struggling then try something different. As long as you are feeding your baby you are doing a good job.
FWIW I breastfed all my DC, my SIL bottle fed all her DC. We were both equally exhausted and overwhelmed in the first few weeks and months, our kids are all doing equally well now.
Be confident that you will work out what works for you and you’ll both be just fine.

I agree, breastfeeding is probably the part that takes the least amount of time! Yes, it takes a long time with a newborn and it feels like that is all you’re doing. I believe I was sat on the sofa with my baby for 18 hours a day for the first month. It was horrible!! But once you get to the 3rd month the baby will feed SO much faster and you will start to enjoy BFing as your little quiet time.