First time mum hoping to breastfeed

[peachypetite]

Hi all. Feeling a bit overwhelmed at all the conflicting advice I’ve been given and read! I want to breastfeed but I am worried about how tough it will be being the only one who can feed the baby so would like to express or use a haaka so my husband can bottle feed.
Do I need to get bottles etc in now or should I wait a bit to see how baby and I get on?

[bluebluezoo]

not obsessed just a first time mum looking for advice. No need to be so bitchy

Bitchy? Apologies if my meaning wasn’t clear, i meant the obsession with relatives, grandparents, some dh’s etc all putting pressure on new mums to bottle feed because they want to be able to feed the baby.

Often in the guise of “helping” or “giving you a break” when in reality it means you sterilising, pumping, then running around getting them cups of tea and doing housework while they sit on their arses feeding.

Breastfeeding for me was the break. Meant I could sit down for a bit while someone else ran round and looked after me.

[PolarBearStrength]

@bluebluezoo

not obsessed just a first time mum looking for advice. No need to be so bitchy

Bitchy? Apologies if my meaning wasn’t clear, i meant the obsession with relatives, grandparents, some dh’s etc all putting pressure on new mums to bottle feed because they want to be able to feed the baby.

Often in the guise of “helping” or “giving you a break” when in reality it means you sterilising, pumping, then running around getting them cups of tea and doing housework while they sit on their arses feeding.

Breastfeeding for me was the break. Meant I could sit down for a bit while someone else ran round and looked after me.

I wholeheartedly agree with this. My second of five days old. Breastfeeding is a fantastic excuse to do very little in terms of housework and organising the toddler. I’m feeding, sleeping, and just doing the nice bits of toddler parenting! If DH insisted on ‘sharing the load’ of feeding, I’d be obliged to wash up, put the laundry on etc.

[KiriAndLou]

I see the utility in expressing for overnight feeds. If you can leave DH and baby downstairs with a couple of bottles and sleep from, say, 8 p.m. until midnight, that's four hours uninterrupted you wouldn't have gotten otherwise.

My advice would be not to spend loads on a pump beforehand. A cheaper electric pump is fabulous for getting the excess off in the early engorged days but I spent three figures on a double pump and then DS refused bottles from the first one we tried to give him.

[GagaBinks]

@Micah

I breastfed and by day 3 I was exhausted. I was going to give up. So I expressed and tried him with a bottle, and it worked

I am happy it worked for you, but I genuinely don’t understand how expressing and then feeding from a bottle is less exhausting?

Surely it’s quicker and easier just to breastfeed?

You're right, in the long run it was much, much easier to just breastfeed. But after not sleeping through labour, then being too hyped up after the birth in the hospital to sleep (and I couldn't stop looking at him) and then two nights of barely sleeping much and being worried he wasn't getting enough etc etc... I just wanted to have 5 hours of unbroken sleep. So I expressed two bottles and then my husband fed him that. In the early weeks I used to go to sleep around 7.30pm until midnight when my husband would bring him up. The 15 minutes of the day cleaning, sterilising, expressing etc was well worth that stretch of sleep for me. Admittedly, it did die out as he cluster fed less and we just did straight breast for few weeks too. Just wanted to share my experience, that's all.

[MissSmiley]

I have breast fed 5 babies, my twins only for a week, my only advice is the success of breast feeding can largely be down to the baby, my third (one of the twins) was a rubbish feeder, his mouth was the wrong shape, I knew what I was doing the other twin did but he made me sore and bleeding, I decided to bottle feed the twins after feeding my first two for a year each, if my 3rd baby had been my first I would have completely blamed myself for our lack of success, the other babies just seemed to know what to do, it's a two way process in my experience. After 9 rounds of ivf I was relieved that breastfeeding was relatively straightforward for my first two but that wasn't really down to me alone
Good luck and be kind to yourself

[Twizbe]

@Qwertywerty3 I really think it's just down to baby.

Like I said I combi fed one and EBF the other. Both were offered bottles at the same time (earlier than 6 weeks) 1 took to them and never had an issues, the other flat out refused.

It was the same with dummies. Interestingly the one who was fine with bottles and dummies has always found comfort with 'harder' textures. The other much prefers 'natural' and 'softer' textures.

[bluebluezoo]

The only people I know who successfully breast and bottle fed introduced a bottle straight away. The longer you leave it the less likely the baby is to accept it. I was one of a group of breastfeeding friends who desperately tried to introduce a bottle at about 6-8 weeks with absolutely no success

My baby took a bottle at 6 weeks no problem. The reason I wouldn’t advise mixed feeding is mine immediately preferred bottles. I had to ditch them in the end as she’d get really frustrated with the breast for a few feeds after where she had to wait for let down. The more bottles she had the worse it got.

With my second I let go of the idea of facilitating others desire to feed my baby and refused to pump or give bottles at all. It was much, much easier than fannying around with pumping, washing and freezing etc, trying to maintain supply and everything else. Both baby and I were much happier.

[peachypetite]

Just to be clear nobody has put any pressure on me. It’s something I’ve thought about and only me.

[Lalapurple]

I briefly tried to express- but it was way way more hassle than breastfeeding and I hated the feeling of it. Also I never got any sort of break in the early days by my partner taking the baby to another room- I just spent the whole time anxiously listening out for him- only managed to sleep in early days with baby right next to me. My partner changing all the nappies was far more helpful than getting him involved in feeding. But everyone has a different experience and different babies as evidenced by the replies here- so you will need to find out what works for you.

Might also be worth signing up to an antenatal class- La Leche League do only free online ones at the moment. Or if you want to read a book anything by Professor Amy Brown is good and pragmatic- for example I recommend the Positive Breastfeeding Book. I didn't do much research before I had my baby but I should have.

I think NHS advice re. sterilising bottles for breastmilk etc has changed and you just need to wash normally.

I also know people who have done combi feeding and started after 6 weeks without problems. I know someone who gave their baby a bottle successfully for a period of time, but one day several months in baby just decided no more bottles...if you end up using bottles look up "paced bottle feeding." You can also feed expressed milk from a spoon, cup or syringe if it's occasionally (La Leche League has guidance on this)

Good luck!