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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Do any RL people actually BF? Or is it just the imaginary people on MN?

62 replies

evenhope · 16/09/2007 11:47

There were only 2 mums at my baby massage class who weren't bf, but now that DD is 6 months old and I'm starting to try out other baby groups I'm starting to feel like an endangered species

There were 5 other babies at the group I went to on Friday, every single one of them ff. Talk was of how long in advance to make up feeds and storage of milk powder...they may as well have been discussing astrophysics!!

When I had DD1 in 1986 I never came across anyone ff at all. Have things really changed that much in 20 years?

(Or have I not found the right groups- where are you hiding?!!)

OP posts:

belgo · 16/09/2007 11:50

I breastfed my babies. And I live in Real Life, unless I'm imagining things

ThePigletGuru · 16/09/2007 11:52

Yes, it's all in your mind

Most of my friends BFed until 6 months and then switched to formula, maybe that is the case at your group?

Lilliput · 16/09/2007 11:53

I had exactly the same experience. When both my babies were over 6 months I was the breastfeeding oddity in the group. You find that people decide how long they are going to bf, 3 months, 6 months. They feel as though they have done there bit.

gringottsgoblin · 16/09/2007 11:56

i find people look at me with a mixture of 'how does she do it' and 'will i catch something if i stand too close?'. i get the same look when i tell people i use cloth nappies. however i noticed a mum at playgroup i recently mentioned it to was discussing it with someone else and the someone else said she used them too. so maybe now the first mum will think i am less strange

oregonianabroad · 16/09/2007 11:56

Iam bfing now (ds2 is slurping away happily). Ds1 Bfed till he was 14 months.

Try La Leche League or the ABM, they may have a group near you.

MarshaBrady · 16/09/2007 11:57

Not sure, but where I am all the first time mothers I met breast fed.

We would see eachother at the hospital bf workshops really trying hard to bf for the 6 months.
The last bfer has just stopped, at age of dd being 2.

The breast feeding force was strong.

Difers · 16/09/2007 12:05

Out of the people I know who sucessfully were able to feed, I know of 1 who stopped at 6 months, the others all carrying on to 18+. Is there a bf group in your area?

Original poster

evenhope · 16/09/2007 12:41

How do I find a BF group?

I assume you have to pay to join LLL or ABFM?

OP posts:

Niecie · 16/09/2007 12:51

Once my DSs were older than 6 months I quite often didn't have to feed them when I was out if I went out just after a feed and was only out of an hour or two to go to a group. Could be that the bf ones just aren't feeding at that time and you only know about this group because of the big thing they make about doing the bottles.

It is difficult to tell but, in reality, I think that the no. of mothers still bf after 6 months is only 5-10% so you are a minority.

I used to go to an NCT baby and toddler group so you might find a few kindred spirits there too.

Tinker · 16/09/2007 12:56

I know what you mean. I'm still bf my 2.3 year old but of RL friends, hardly anyone bfed, at all, certianly not many for longish term. I did feel it was only in mn world that there were othters like me. And if I didn't read mn I doubt I would have bf for more than the 3 months I did with my first

morocco · 16/09/2007 12:58

not too many people bf past 6 months, so they say, certainly seem to be more of us on mn anyway, but it sounds more like the problem is the people at your baby group are not your kind of people? is it a baby group of mostly first time mums or mums of small babies? maybe you would be better off with a toddler group where there will be less talk of bottle feeding - dull dull dull - and more general mayhem and nattering over cups of tea(just an example btw, nothing against first time mums as such ). i know the nct group i go to sometimes for mums and babies can leave me stuck for words sometimes even though they are all lovely, i just don't have a lot to say anymore about exact room temp and appropriate bedwear

BabiesEverywhere · 16/09/2007 13:00

I was feeding my year old DD in the local library, when one of the other mothers at the reading group asked me....how long I was going to continue to do that for ?

I smiled and said properly another 5 minutes or so.

I feel like an odd one out a lot, it doesn't help that we also use slings and EC my DD (not that I advertise the last bit in RL) But sod them...I do what I feel is right for my daughter not to please other people

Flamesparrow · 16/09/2007 13:03

Same here too I heard a pregnant woman say "Oh god no" when someone asked if she would be breastfeeding. But to be fair, I don't know if she had a nightmare experience with her first

Original poster

evenhope · 16/09/2007 13:09

It's a very local Toddler group, so there are more toddlers than babies. Unlike the groups I went to when DD1 was small, these mums all seem to follow their toddlers around actively playing with them, so the only mums available to actually talk to (whole point in going) are the 5 with babies.

I wasn't going to bother going out as all, as I'm going back to work after Xmas, but where we lived before there was no community and now we have a chance for DD2 to (eventually) go to a school just up the road and be a proper part of this community. I thought I'd try to get to know people she will ultimately be going to school/ Brownies with.

There are a few more toddler groups I've found out about that I will try but kind of defeats the object if we have to drive to them.

OP posts:

Miaou · 16/09/2007 13:21

I'm one of two b/fers at one of my local toddler groups (of the other two I go to, there are no other babies at one and I've not seen the babies at the other one being fed yet so don't know!). I and the other b/fer practically fell on each other , particularly as her baby is over 6 months. She was so pleased to hear I was planning to feed until over a year! Was talking to another expectant mum at the group and she had b/f her first, but was considering f/f her second as she thought breastfeeding was too tying

When I had ds1 I went to a baby massage class. At the first class I started feeding him and the room went deathly quiet. Then one by one each mother started to explain why they weren't able to breastfeed. I felt quite sad really - either they felt I was judging them or they were judging themselves, I don't know - but it was very obviously "an issue". I was the only b/fer.

CorrieDale · 16/09/2007 13:33

evenhope, you may find that a lot of the toddlers there had only just started at that group - the beginning of September is a time when people will go along to toddler groups for the first time. You may well find that in a couple of weeks the toddlers will have found their feet and be happily fighting wtih each other and the mums will be more relaxed and ready to chat.

In answer to your question, very few people I know bf after 6 months. But then, most women in my area have to go back to work at 6 months to cover the mortgage. Just wait until your bfing a 2 year old, lol! I like to mention it every now again in 'inappropriate' places just to get the message across that you can bf a toddler without having to wear jesus sandals and crystals.

chipmonkey · 16/09/2007 13:35

I am real and I bf! I don't go to any groups though!

going4potty · 16/09/2007 16:30

Hi EvenHope know how you feel in someways, most of my friends didnt bf for long inc my sis in law and mum and mum inlaw. But having many muslim friends have found that they generally bf for a lot longer usually minimum 9 months to 2 years. Ds 2 is now 1 months and i am pregnant yet again so am thinking of stopping as usually suffer from hyperemisis throughout pregnancy and need the sleep and rest too. Keep trying different groups you might find conversation thats a little less dry

princessmel · 16/09/2007 16:34

I bf both my children. I'm still bf dd at 2yrs.

scattyspice · 16/09/2007 16:36

I had definately packed in by 6mnths.

TigerFeet · 16/09/2007 16:42

I packed in at 6 months - mainly because I went back to work FT and found it incredibly hard to do both. I didn't want to do either

going4potty · 16/09/2007 17:04

Woops meant ds2 is 11months not one

Rhubarb · 16/09/2007 17:09

Both mine were bf but then by 6 months I was ffing them.

I wanted to give them both the best start in life but I found bf very hard. It was painful, even though I was doing everything right, I leaked in public, my boobs squirted, I was a shy feeder, etc etc. I got mastitis with dd too which just knocked me for six, I had never felt so ill. So I went for ff with dd when she was 3 months old.

I managed longer with ds, feeding up until he was 8 months old but I mixed it with formula when he got to 6 months. Again I found it hard. I guess I valued my freedom, expressing was a pain in the arse and not very easy, so everywhere I went the baby had to go too. After a while I just wanted my own space.

But then I tried to get mine to take out of cups from early on and I stopped sterilising at 4 months, so it became easier to give formula.

janeitebus · 16/09/2007 17:29

Well last time I looked I seemed to be made of real life flesh and blood (rather more flesh than I'd like actually) and I breast fed both of mine; dd2 to 13 months; dd1 not so long - probably around 6 months.

Rhubarb · 16/09/2007 17:30

My sister bf her twin babies until they were 3 months - I was most impressed with that!

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