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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Does anyone else hate breastfeeding?

30 replies

naychay · 26/05/2018 21:24

Ok-I hate breastfeeding. I’ve had an awful relationship with it from the very beginning with a tongue tied fussy baby.
10 weeks in and she’s still super fussy...nothing wrong with her, in fact she’s thriving and very chubby. I’ve seen lactation consultants etc but it’s just a constant battle unless she’s super sleepy and then she feeds perfectly.
I’m not gonna give it up, I’m very persistent and whilst there’s nothing wrong with formula feeding, I just don’t want to do it.
My mum (breastfed all 4 of us) keeps telling me it will just click and be easy when she’s 3/4 months old and that I’ll enjoy it but I’m not holding out much hope.
Basically all I want to know is that I’m not the only one that despises it...anyone?
Xx

OP posts:

SoyDora · 26/05/2018 21:26

I BF both mine until around 8 months and hated every single minute of it!
Didn’t help that i nearly died from sepsis resulting from mastitis when DD2 was 8 days old.
Currently pregnant with number 3 and planning to breastfeed again, but anticipating not enjoying it again!

NameChange30 · 26/05/2018 21:28

Has the tongue tie been divided?

HumphreyCobblers · 26/05/2018 21:28

I really didn't enjoy it. I did it for bloody ages though, for two years for two children and three and a half for another one. I think I just carried out out of inertia tbh.

I am pleased I did it though, but I can't say I enjoyed it.

It probably will get easier in that you won't have to try at it all the time, it will come more easily. Have you had the TT sorted?

Theclockstruck2 · 26/05/2018 21:35

I didn’t like it much. Still did over a year with both kids. It does get much much easier, I decided in the end perhaps it was just expecting too much to enjoy it. I also had loads of issues at the beginning both times. By the time I had overcome I was able to appreciate the good things about breastfeeding without actually liking it. Still felt very sad after I stopped both times, no idea why as I hated it!

DaisyChainsForever · 26/05/2018 21:35

I'm nearly 9 months in and not really enjoying it. I wish I'd introduced a bottle earlier, as he flat out refuses milk from anything other than me.

MollyDaydream · 26/05/2018 21:38

I think once I stop enjoying breastfeeding it's time to stop. You spend so much time feeding a baby, I want it to be a lovely, bonding time. I wouldn't put myself through doing something I despise.

SoyDora · 26/05/2018 21:42

Problem was MollyDaydream, by the time I realised I hated it and it wasn’t just the normal early issues, I had a bottle refuser. She never once let a bottle pass her lips. I tried everything. So I kept going until they would take a decent amount from a sippy cup at around 8 months.
Sometimes it’s not as simple as just stopping.

Original poster

naychay · 26/05/2018 21:47

Glad I’m not the only one then! Tongue tie was released when she was 4 weeks old after every midwife denied she could possibly have one because she was piling on weight, so I paid for a lactation lady to come out and she referred her. She’s just a pain to feed and takes any enjoyment out of it. Thing is when she’s feeding really well at night, I love just watching her thinking how lovely it is to be able to breastfeed and that I’m stupid for hating it but then it gets to the day and I hate it all over again.
Oh well! The things we do hey...

OP posts:

JoanFrenulum · 27/05/2018 01:03

God no it's not just you. It's boring, I always smell of cheese, and my wardrobe options are limited.

I'm 5.5 months in. I keep at it because formula seems faffy and I'm a cheapskate. Pumping has saved me, I got her taking a bottle at 3 weeks old and daycare at 3 months because I needed time off.

You are not alone, it is pretty dire. It gets better as you get more used to it.

HalfStar · 27/05/2018 14:56

11 weeks in with #3. I'm definitely feeling bored of it today. Just feeding all the bloody time and feel I can't let up because she's on the smaller side. I don't mind the night feeds this time as they're easy and relaxing.

It gets a Lot easier once they're on solids. 3 months to go, 3 months to go...

RidingMyBike · 27/05/2018 15:05

You're not the only one. Loathed every single second of BFing for the first ten or so months - it was so unlike what I'd been led to believe. Mine was combi-fed after huge problems in the first week so I could have switched to entirely formula but I felt under so much pressure to bf I kept going. I really regret that now as it wrecked our first months together and gave me PND.

I eventually came to terms with it by about ten months (by then she was only feeding 3 or so times a day and it is much easier to tolerate something that takes up about 30 mins a day than something you're doing endlessly all day and night). Still feeding at 2.5 years and really wondering why I bothered. She has only had one day off sick from nursery in 18 months though so maybe that was worth it though?

I do think if I had another there is no way I'd bf again though.

Shmithecat · 27/05/2018 15:09

I'm starting to hate it now but tbf ds is 2.7 and won't wean 🙄

robotcartrainhat · 27/05/2018 15:09

yes I hated every minute of the nearly a year I did it for! Got through it by telling myself I would stop after another week.. each week...
Then he was weaned onto solids and had no interest in it one day thank the lord!!
I just felt like a cow and far from bonding me to him the level of physical closeness and dependence really drained me and made me feel cold towards him. He cluster fed for the first months as well, every hour mostly and it was an utter nightmare.
I immediately felt so much closer to him when it stopped...

RidingMyBike · 27/05/2018 15:10

It also helped once I accepted that it wasn't a lovely nurturing bonding experience and I just didn't like it, instead of beating myself up about it must be my fault that I didn't like it.

Think about how it was in the past - it wasn't 'sold' as this amazing bonding experience with lovely snuggles all the time, it was simply the only way to feed the baby, so it didn't come with all this weighty pressure alongside to enjoy it.

NoParticularPattern · 27/05/2018 15:11

I know exactly how you feel. I’m 15 weeks in and I can’t say I love it. I really really hated it at 10 weeks as I got screamed at a lot when all I was trying to do was my best by her. Now 5 weeks on its not quite as awful, she doesn’t have so many screamy moments but because she’s changed so much it’s like re-learning her feeding cues all over again. She used to be a fist sucker for hungry but is now a thumb sucker for comfort and it took me a while to work out that I was making her scream by offering her food when she simply didn’t want it. I’ve realised now why there’s no manual for these things

RidingMyBike · 27/05/2018 15:12

I wish I'd found Mumsnet earlier though - it would have been so much better for my mental health if I'd found other mums who hated it too.

TipseyTorvey · 27/05/2018 15:19

Hated it. Did 4 months with both DC out of a sense of guilt and duty. Had a horrible time getting them to latch on due to wrong shaped nipples. Once I stopped both times everything got better and easier and I could enjoy them so much more without getting massively stressed before and during every feed.

LampHat · 27/05/2018 15:21

I fed DS1 until 18 months, and I remember the feeling of BFing him for the last time. I think I was meant to feel sad, but all I felt was a sense of achievement I stuck with it for so long and mainly just delighted it was over! Now I’m a few months in with DS2. It’s easier this time, but I still don’t love it!

arbrighton · 27/05/2018 20:38

DS is 11mo.

I've never loved BF

There are days and nights when I HATE it s it means it has to be me, and just now, he doesn't settle for DH, and often not for me, even with boob. And there are teeth.

ThatsNotEvenAWord · 27/05/2018 20:42

I never really ‘enjoyed’ bfeeding my sons but I loved the fact they were bfed and that motivated me to continue, I didn’t manage as long with DS2 because it was starting to destroy our relationship, I would cringe at the thought etc. Have to say I’m loving the freedom of wearing what I like and being able to have a lemsip now but I do look back and feel pleased we managed it.

BecauseOfTheRain · 28/05/2018 12:28

Dd is 3.5 months and a staunch bottle refuser. She feeds every hour and will not latch properly because of my fast flow, despite countless visits to nhs support teams. I utterly loathe breastfeeding and feel sad that this is tainting our days - I can't feed in public in the position we need to use so our world is very isolated. Dreaming of the day I can stop and both enjoy life more!

NameChange30 · 28/05/2018 14:01

@BecauseOfTheRain
Have you seen a lactation consultant? I encourage you to seek support/advice from more than one source, sadly the NHS support for breastfeeding is often lacking. I always bang on about it but tongue tie is under diagnosed, a lot of feeding “experts” miss it or - even worse - say baby doesn’t have it when they do. Or say that baby has it but division won’t make a difference Anyway a LC can do a proper tongue tie assessment and give support with other issues.

I respect the fact that some women just don’t enjoy breastfeeding but I also think breastfeeding can sometimes be a lot harder than it should be, due to inadequate support. Women feel they should struggle on so it’s not surprising many end up resenting and hating it.

MaverickSnoopy · 28/05/2018 16:00

Hate it. Breastfed one until 6mo and the other until 3mo. Both were mix fed and had to express with both. Just couldn't establish enough of a supply despite being permanently hooked up to them and non stop feeding for god knows how long. Currently pregnant with third and planning on breastfeeding again. I so want it to work this time.

I've always posted on forums for help but never found the answer that helped me.

MrsAlbie · 28/05/2018 19:48

I hate it. I'm nearly five months in and told myself I just needed to get to six months. I really wanted to give up when my nipple started bleeding but found shields helped me get through. Even so I hate how tying it is and how it's only me who can do it. I think my PND stems from the dislike of BFing.

Gunpowder · 28/05/2018 21:06

I mostly love it but have definitely had some moments of really hating it, particularly with my two tongue tied babies.

If she is fussy and chubby have you considered you may have oversupply/fast let down? Or she might have silent reflux and drinks to relieve the symptoms therefore is putting on lots of weight? It might be worth speaking to an expert again just in case it’s something like that that you can remedy and make it more enjoyable for both of you. My baby who had tongue tie and has reflux has always fed better at night as he’s a bit sleepy and my let down is slower.

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