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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

So fed up of bfing.

38 replies

FruitSaladIsNotPudding · 08/03/2013 11:40

I'm knackered from constantly feeding in the night, my dd1 is getting neglected because I'm feeding all day, I've spent a fortune seeing lactaction consultant and getting tongue tie snipped and i have sodding lopsided boobs and for what? Rubbish weight gain and a really unsettled baby.

Sorry, just wanted to vent. I really really want this to work but it's crap. Dd is 14wo and not sure how much longer we can carry on.

OP posts:
lazzaroo · 08/03/2013 11:49

I have every sympathy. Posted a thread this morning about how fed up I feel. DD2 is 10 weeks & I feel completely trapped by bf. We can't get her to take a bottle to give me a break & I don't know what to o. Have been short tempered & tearful this morning. So not fair on DD1.

Original poster
FruitSaladIsNotPudding · 08/03/2013 11:55

Yes, short tempered and tearful here too. Dd will take a bottle, but i have no time to express and really don't want to give formula when we've managed to ebf this far. I pissed off - surely it shouldn't very this hard?!!

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Original poster
FruitSaladIsNotPudding · 08/03/2013 11:58

Gah, stupid predictive text!

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lazzaroo · 08/03/2013 12:06

I feel like I am doing her no favours today. We are stuck in a rut of 30 min naps too so she is feeding more often. Probably More than she needs, sous snacking and is full of wind. On days like today I feel like she'd be better off on formula :-( meanwhile my DD1 is upstairs playing on her own while waiting for me to get hand free to cook lunch (am typing while feeding....between screaming fits...don't know if it's hunger, tiredness or wind!).

noblegiraffe · 08/03/2013 12:07

You've done really well to ebf for 14 weeks in what sounds like a really tricky situation. Would it be really dreadful to give formula for the odd feed so that you can get a break? You can always go back to just bfing if things get better.

It would be better than carrying on till breaking point and packing the whole thing in.

lazzaroo · 08/03/2013 12:20

I agree. Give her some formula and have a break. I would if I could!

Original poster
FruitSaladIsNotPudding · 08/03/2013 13:10

That sounds familiar lazaroo! Dd1 is very good but it's crap for her.

I'm scared to give formula because i think i have supply issues and don't want to make it worse. Also i think if i give her a bottle and it settles her realistically I'm going to continue.

Dd2 has been having what i thought was a growth spurt for the last week, she's been feeding constantly, but i had her weighed yesterday and she'd put on 2oz in a week. So disheartening.

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 08/03/2013 13:16

Has anyone seen you bf since the tongue tie was snipped? If she is feeding all the time but not putting on much weight it could be worth getting your latch rechecked.

dopeysheep · 08/03/2013 13:18

I would give formula and bin off the breast feeding if it is making you miserable and not working. Why suffer more than you have to?
I really wanted to bf my baby bur she couldn't feed ( had to be tube fed at first) and so I just expressed for 6 weeks but after that it just got harder and harder to produce enough so I stopped. Sometimes things don't go the way you want and you shoukdn't feel guilty for that.

noblegiraffe · 08/03/2013 13:24

It doesn't have to be one or the other though.

issimma · 08/03/2013 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
FruitSaladIsNotPudding · 08/03/2013 13:40

The midwife who did the snip checked her latch afterwards, although not since. I don't think there is a problem with the latch though, it looks and feels fine. Although I suppose there must be something wrong. Really can't afford any more visits from lactation consultants, health visitors keep telling me to eat more cake, gp uninterested and the local bf drop ins are run by the hv's.

And dd just done another 10 minute nap. Wonderful.

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noblegiraffe · 08/03/2013 14:33

If you want to continue, you could try the La Leche League helpline
www.laleche.org.uk/pages/about/helpline.htm

If you're thinking about giving up anyway, then I'm not sure a bottle of formula would do much harm, and you might feel better about things if you have a break and maybe a decent nap.

Original poster
FruitSaladIsNotPudding · 08/03/2013 14:42

I definitely don't want to give up. I could live with giving her a bottle a day I guess, if it really improved things. But I am disappointed. I ended up mix feeding my dd and really wanted to make it work this time.

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Original poster
FruitSaladIsNotPudding · 08/03/2013 14:45

I will call the helpline (when I have a quiet moment!!)

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Cupcakemummy85 · 09/03/2013 21:09

I'm experiencing exactly the same op!! My dd2 is 3 weeks and dd1 is 20 months and the poor thing is being shoved infront of the tv because of my stupid mission to bf. I feel like dd2 is chained to me and I'm chained to the sofa. I am however giving top ups as there are certain times of the day I just can't satisfy her and it really helps. Perhaps just a top up would give u a little break?

Beamae · 09/03/2013 21:26

I just read an article on mixed feeding which would have been quite useful for me when I was still trying to breastfeed. It said never to do top ups, and to introduce formula bottles at separate times to breastfeeding. If your baby gets used to the extra full feeling you won't be able to satisfy them with only breast. Also, it said to mimic breastfeeding by giving smaller amounts of formula more often, for the same reason.

I did top ups. It was the beginning of the end as my supply dwindled and my twins grew to prefer the bottle feeds. I was so, so keen to breastfeed and found the idea of stopping really upsetting. Once the girls were on bottles full time I was actually really relieved to be free.

Beamae · 09/03/2013 21:30

Oh and not to even start any formula until you know your supply is sorted, obviously. You really need to be sure of your decision. I wasn't, and it ended up being quite traumatic. I'm no expert!

DreamySleepyNightySnoozySnooze · 09/03/2013 21:35

Where abouts are you FruitSalad? There is an NHS Lactation consultant in my area (W. Yorks), so no charge although she's so busy I found her rather unhelpful in the 2 mins she could spare me, so I paid for a private LC too.

La Leche were very helpful for me with Ds1. I am going to give them a call soon about Ds2 too (tongue tie, lip tie, terrible latch).

Noodled · 09/03/2013 21:48

Can you get the snip checked, some tts need an extra snip?

Have you tried switch nursing, compressions etc?

Original poster
FruitSaladIsNotPudding · 10/03/2013 18:03

Thanks for all the replies. I'm in herts dreamy, so w. Yorks might be a bit of a trek!

We ended up giving her formula Friday and yesterday night, but i feel shit about it. I know you have to keep feeding and feeding through a growth spurt, but it's been a week and she just seems unhappy. I honestly wouldn't care about feeling tired if i felt she was getting enough. Well, not much anyway!

Have tried compressions and switch feeding, neither seemed to make a massive difference.

Have spoken to someone from LLL and there's a group i can go to on Thursday, so that's something. She also gave me some ideas to improve positioning.

OP posts:
BuntyCollocks · 10/03/2013 18:11

It could be there's more tongue tie there.

GrandPoohBah · 10/03/2013 18:17

I give my dd a bottle of formula each evening to help her go to sleep. It has become part of her bedtime routine and DH gets to spend that time with her .

It doesn't seem to have affected my supply, I don't top up and it gave me a break when I needed one. It also means she's used to a bottle if I want to go out for longer than about an hour! It works really well for us.

PirateHat · 10/03/2013 18:29

Sometimes it helps to think of formula as medicine you and the baby need to get through a tricky patch (ill baby or exhausted mother eg).

You say bf is not working but your baby is alive and gaining some weight. Weight gain is not a competition, some babies are small. Some are also not content (my ds for sure!) Some times it is our expectations of what a baby should be like if WE do everything right that needs adjusting not something physical/practical.

Hope this doesn't sound too harsh, just what I have learnt myself after coming out the otherside.

Original poster
FruitSaladIsNotPudding · 10/03/2013 19:15

No, i have thought of that piratehat. Trouble is, my dd1 was small and unsettled (followed 9th centile) and we told ourselves that was just the way she was. But then we started solids and she started sleeping and shot up to 98th centile - she is v tall as well. No way was the 9th centile her natural line.

I know they are all different, but i can't help but compare.

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