Why does it descend into a bun fight?

[Orchidflower1]

Why do people have to do competitive racism? Not a TAAT but inspired by a thread about a Jewish lady who is currently terrified to go out because of the violence and antisemitism in her area. All she wanted was a hand hold and to vent. But people are playing top trumps racism along her thread.

I don’t really know what I want from this thread to be honest. I think I just want to say argghhhhh -racism and all its types are awful enough without people falling over themselves to say one group of people have it worse than others.
Arghhh why can’t people be kind, be nice and not be Xenophobic, racist twonks!!!

And breathe orchid!!

I just wanted to come here to say that really. Please don’t feel you need to reply- I’m happy just to vent but any thoughts welcome.

I'm sorry, I'm battle weary with the constant crap on here from the likes of some posters .Respect to you all for speaking up.

I'm soo relived someone much more brave than I am has spoken out about this! I see this soo very often and it breaks my heart! There is soo much racism on MN which is allowed to stand and never gets moderated or deleted. This is a true reflection of the society we live in. It's all very sad Op

@Orchidflower1

I agree that I think there is a vast disparity with the moderating from MNHQ. Some things get picked up- others are just “observed.”

I think there is inconsistency within MNHQ.

Yes Op, there is. There should be no reason for this to be the case. Are the mods not a diverse group of people, I am wondering. If not, why not? Something must be amiss for them to allow so much racism and offensive post to remain day in day out. They need to act faster and make it be known that racism in any form is not going to be tolerated on MN.

JingsMahBucket the Thread is in AIBU, about a Black child being given a plaster not matching their skin tone. A moth to a flame for a lot of racist posters.

It’s awful @Needawantaholiday also the lady who set up the support thread due to her suffering from racist threats had her thread completely derailed by what aboutism and she’s not come back.

I see it's still going strong with the "ain't no black in the union jack brigade". (As they used to be fond of chanting)
There are some posters, describing themselves as white, who are seeing the racism for what it is. I'll take heart from them.

@C130

JingsMahBucket the Thread is in AIBU, about a Black child being given a plaster not matching their skin tone. A moth to a flame for a lot of racist posters.

Oh yeah, that thread. I got about 10 posts in, saw the way it was going and peaced the f*ck out real quick. I don’t need that kind of stress in my life.

And yes, I believe the MNHQ mods are racist. I get messages deleted that are supposedly offensive on the threads defending Meghan Markle but posters run around calling people horrible words and they never get deleted. It’s bullshit. I was warned just last week that I might get suspended soon for an innocuous comment. Check your racism and unequal enforcement MN “mods”. 🙄

Oh Jings, that's horrible to hear about possible suspension. Some people know exactly what they can say and get away with.
A post I reported is still up. I don't think they understand what's wrong with it.

In the end MN has an awful lot of posters. So probably a good ish idea of the feelings in society.

I'm sure many of you know or remember all the PC gawn mad, you can't say anything any more!

I was always confused as I thought it was not that tricky to get through a day without making racist, homophobic, sexist comments etc.

I learnt at work that actually there are a fair few people who did feel they had to bite their tongue. That they couldn't speak freely.

In the last few years the large number of people who were biting their tongue feel able to say what they think.

The attitudes never went away. They were simmering underneath.

And to the PP I understand why you're angry.

MNHQ are not right wing conservatives though, or akin to Facebook.

Of course they are not perfect. But they do not behave like Twitter or Facebook.

MN is under attack all the time. They don't need to allow such a wide range of topics as they do. They are AFAIK somewhere that is pretty open, majority female, and has a lot of contraversial conversations.

They moderate reactively and are a small business.

I have reported stuff I thought was awful and they've not taken it down.

For their efforts one of the women was swatted. In the UK ( we don't do that really police aren't often armed etc). Armed police burst into her home when she was there alone with her kids.

Reason? Men don't like this site.

The other thing is. I post a lot in a contraversial area.

I want the arsehole posts to stand. So people can read and see how awful.

I mean unless they're off the scale.

If all the prejudice gets hidden away. It does nothing to stop the poster being prejudiced. Others can't read and think fucking hell that's awful. And those who don't know how bad it is, have it hidden from their sight.

Twitter and Facebook are much more active in moderation/ banning etc. I'm not sure it's a good thing. It just hides away the shit. But it's still there.

It’s awful. Really awful. I try to stay away but the plaster one really got to me and I lost it. I have some specific question to MNHQ about their moderation policy so I will be writing to th this week about that.

@NiceGerbil

In the end MN has an awful lot of posters. So probably a good ish idea of the feelings in society.

I'm sure many of you know or remember all the PC gawn mad, you can't say anything any more!

I was always confused as I thought it was not that tricky to get through a day without making racist, homophobic, sexist comments etc.

I learnt at work that actually there are a fair few people who did feel they had to bite their tongue. That they couldn't speak freely.

In the last few years the large number of people who were biting their tongue feel able to say what they think.

The attitudes never went away. They were simmering underneath.

Yes. And now the word, woke is used to insult people and try to shut them down. You are right MN is a reflection of Society and what people are thinking or feeling. I should just avoid certain threads from now on, I do not need it in my life, the racist digs and nonsense from some posters.

I skimmed some of the comments in that thread too JingsMahBucket and saw how it was. The title alone should have told me not to go there. I just went on to something else. I do not read any threads about Harry and Meghan anymore either. The rabid post dripping with hate and covert racism is shocking, uncalled for, and sad to see. I wonder how many of the obvious racist posters, of which I see plenty get suspended.

@Needawantaholiday

Being black British was enough for me to know better than to open that thread. I knew it would not be a safe space from the title. The comments here prove I was right.

This.

I knew what was coming when I read the title so didn’t even bother opening it.

I'm on the plaster thread and apparently the thread 'has taken a turn'. Is that code for we're making too much noise?

And final point on moderation or lack of it (should MNHQ ever read this or anyone be interested in my completely anecdotal experience). I find it odd? noteworthy? that just a couple of weeks ago in my US-centric professional group someone was completely removed and effectively sacked, by average and not particularly "woke" white men, for stating exactly the same comment I've seen said and go unchallenged on a thread here around the same time. Reported that comment and nothing was done.
What is going so wrong in awareness and education of adults, both on MN and in wider society, that two white men (one a trump voter if that's relevant) in the US, with all it's problems and systems, have at the very least learned to spot a dog whistle / racially charged comment while we and the entire Mumsnet moderation team are somehow incapable? Like I said... odd.

I wouldn’t call it odd. Many British people are snobby towards Americans and think that their covert racism isn’t as bad as the more overt racism in the States. At least in the States, you know exactly where you stand vs people being “polite”, saying racist things with a smile on their face that they’ll fight tooth and nail to say isn’t racist.

I still remember hearing going to the p**i shop when I moved here and no one batting an eye while I was thinking wtf, that’s racist.

Being black British was enough for me to know better than to open that thread. I knew it would not be a safe space from the title. The comments here prove I was right

Being Black or an ethnic minority period. It looked like an obvious wind-up and bait for trolls..

@Shelddd

Yes the race to find out who is the most marginalized group. It all starts with this concept of intersectionality and adding up points to see who is the most oppressed and how you're only allowed to complain to people less oppressed than you. It's all ridiculous.

We should listen to people, all people with legitimate struggles and try to understand and help where we can.

When we argue over who is oppressed more we just waste energy that could be used to help people out or even just listen to them and let them vent.

I couldn’t agree more.

It’s called the Victimhood Olympics and it’s what’s tearing our society apart.

It’s called the Victimhood Olympics and it’s what’s tearing our society apart.

That’s a very succinct way of putting my op. Thank you 🌸

Hmm.This thread is a bit 🤔 confusing.

Some Coded words
A bit of Cryptic language
Some posters surprisingly not 👀ing it right from the OP.......
Well guess it's just me.🤷‍♂️

@SharonasCorona

I'm on the plaster thread and apparently the thread 'has taken a turn'. Is that code for we're making too much noise?

Perhaps shares in pink elastoplast have fallen on the stock market?

Or there is a new kind of Band Aid concert planned?

I'm not black, but E Asian. I often read threads in this part of MN because the topics and opinions are thoughtful and interesting.

That plaster thread was like a bat signal and like almost all threads about racism on the main MN boards, it never ends well. Over the years I've learnt to avoid discussions about race on the main boards because there's some times a little bit of understanding and compassion, but more often it's "victimhood olympics" and a race to outdo each other in "I don't see race, so I don't think there's a problem, and you've a chip on your shoulder if you do".

That thread about the latest casting of Anne Boleyn is going the usual way too