Graduated Elderberries (thread 2)

[Cavort]

Oops, seems we ran out of room without noticing!

Ok so my lack of research is clearly catching me out now, ehhh? What is this new thing to worry about I've never heard if? Do explain so I can panic too

My doc measures mine at every appointment and has said it's fine, but sorry, haven't checked the actual measurements. I'm sure they would have told you at your private or 20-week scan if the baby was too small.

It's in my maternity notes and they're going to start measuring it at the 25 week appointment so I assume it's at least mentioned in yours Purple?

It's basically just the size of your bump. You lie flat with an empty bladder and measure from the top of your pubic bone to the top of your uterus in cm. I can feel the top of my uterus around the level of my belly button at the moment.

According the the oracle that is Wikipedia ( Fundal Height ), it should match the fetus's gestational age in weeks to within 1-3cm and is only valid from 24 weeks.

I feel better now having searched around because mine is bang on gestational age and it just appears the bespoke chart in my notes goes against all the millions of pregnancy webshites which say otherwise.

Who will ever figure out how men's brains actually work Mother?

Morning all, how was the weekend for you?

I think I need some kind of a support belt - I'm fine otherwise, but for fitness classes with a lot of jumping it would be more convenient to have a bit of extra support. Most of them look either scary or have horrible reviews. Anybody wearing one yet?

And what are you doing about coats - I got one second hand for winter, but it's getting too warm for it here. No chance of getting into my normal spring coats, so need a trench or something. Maternity ones are so ridiculously expensive, so not sure - should I just go for a normal one in a whale bigger size and wear it with belt?

I bought a cheap maternity one that's like a duvet, simply because a) it was in the sale and b) I didn't have a coat that fitted over my boobs within 6 weeks of getting pregnant. It's VERY bulky though so I think I might end up buying a cheap trench from ASOS (lots of cheap-ish maternity stuff, although I only buy when I get a 25% discount code from them or something similar) or H&M. So far, clothes I've tried on simply in a larger size have looked awful - massive in places, too tight in others.... It just seems like such a waste of money!!

Didn't know anything about this whole measurement thing. Something else to worry about soon though hey...

Janey, after far too much Googling I have concluded that as long as you measure within 3cm either way of your number of weeks then everything is fine, and even if you don't then everything's probably still fine but they might scan you to make sure which might actually be quite nice to see bubs again.

Hazle I am in mourning for my favourite lovely fitted coat, which I have just grown out of. I think I will see how I get on wearing my other coats unfastened with a big scarf. It seems such a waste to buy a bigger or maternity coat for just a few months but this opinion could be subject to change if I end up freezing!

I haven't thought about a support belt yet but this Mothercare one seems to get goodish reviews?

Good weekend thanks, how about you? I caught up with friends who I haven't seen for a while, which was good, and went to my Godson's 3rd birthday party yesterday which was very loud and I fear is a sign of things to come for us all!

Eating Junk Food While Pregnant May Make Your Child a Junk Food Addict

Oh crap. I've eaten loads of rubbish food. Suddenly feel awful...

Bah humbug to that Cavort if it's Dominoes every night then, sure, that's not ideal, but I bet it's not.

I have decided to take these guilt-induction pieces with a pinch of (low sodium) salt. They're aimed at women who think that a balanced diet is having KFC one night, Chinese the next, then MacDonalds, then Pizza Hut (no salad, natch), then a chippy, then an Indian, with chicken nuggets and horse lasagne in the freezer for 'emergencies'.

Most normal people, including pregnants like us, are perfectly capable of indulging the odd takeaway once or twice a week, but will incorporate that into a much healthier diet including lots of fruit and veg and sensible carbs and fat amounts.

This weekend (since Friday), I've had half a pizza, a smoked salmon and cream cheese bagel and a portion of scampi and chips as the big bad headline dinners. But I've also had several portions of fruit and veg each day, sensible snacks (except the couple of packets of sweets that were essential at the time ) and slow-release carb options where possible.

I'm fairly happy with that to be honest, even though it may not be perfect.

Rant over

Plus, the child still needs to be exposed to the junk food on the other side. It's not like they're going to come out refusing to breastfeed unless it's part of a Big Mac now, is it?

Any child brought up with a healthy diet and a healthy appreciation of food and junk food as an occasional treat will not identify the 'high' of junk food or get addicted to it.

When I was a child, we weren't allowed sweets or cakes - only as a special treat at borthdays etc. This was due to the fact that my mum's ex was a dentist and had instilled strong principles in her.

I went through a 'crazy sweet addiction' when I was a teenager and allowed to spend my own money on the way to school etc, but this was moderated by proper food that I chose for myself and was burned off by huge amounts of sport I was doing as well. After a few years, I was back to normal with occasional treat foods. I still love them - especially now, would take a bag of strawberry creme pencils over a chocolate bar anyday - but I have enough cerebral appreciation of the facts to choose not to eat it all the time, no matter how good it makes me feel.

It can be hard, as I have a moderately addictive personality, but I resist it most of the time.

I rarely eat any junk food, there just isn't much available here. But if it's just fat and sugar content that matters then I'm not so sure my fancy French restaurant dinner on Saturday was any better than Mcdonalds. High quality and very tasty, not to mention expensive, sure, but French do love their butter
And that apple crumble with Creme Brulee probably had enough sugar for a month.

I also believe that one shouldn't make junk food into something forbidden and secret. We Kids always want what they can't have. for example contrary to Brave, we always had sweets around, no restrictions. I couldn't care less. Fruit (out of season) was very hard to get though, so instead of eating candy, me and my sis would fight over apples, oranges and grapes and share them with a ruler.

So if you want the DC to eat broccoli, just tell them it's a special treat.

Lol at broccoli as a special treat - will remember that one!

Tis true - said dentist suggested giving us carrots as a sweet treat.

And the whole denial thing - unbelievable. I think Ive just realised why diets make people so miserable. I have never dieted as such - in a no-treats/something nice to eat way - until now. Now I know I can't have alcohol and shouldn't be eating as much crap as I all of a sudden really want to (honest to god I practically never ate crisps or chocolate bars but now encounter a few a week), it makes me want it more than ever. I swear a lot of cravings exist entirely in the dopamine centre in the brain - the bit that gets off on being rebellious.

i was worried i'd miss wine but i honestly dont!

i like broccoli but not sure i'd class it as a special treat!

Listen, I'm already having to cope with all of this without fags, booze or sex (stupid OH, grrr) if they think they're taking my chocolate and crisps away from me they can fuck off

Disclaimer: I am also rather fond of broccoli but have to admit I would not protect it with quite the same wild eyed scary lady way as I would my mini eggs.

I dont have much of an issue with junk food, I dont like pizza or maccy d's do like a bit of kfc though i'm not too fussed by chocolate unless it is a penguin biscuit, those I love, BUT stand between me and my crisps and you're in trouble my OH calls me a 'crisp fiend'.

Will your OH not dtd purple? Because of the pregnancy? Or just because he's awkward?

I just called my docs an have an appointment on Friday, from there on I shall be in the system....eeek. Its all becoming rather real.

Oh he's got issues Mother, currently I don't understand how psychologically difficult it is to have sex when there's a baby in there, just like I didn't understand before we were ttc why it was psychologically hard in case I got pregnant just like no doubt I won't understand why it's psychologically difficult when there's a child in the house. Sigh, I'm afraid I'm losing patience with it all after nearly 3 years of being told how bloody difficult it is for him to attempt to have sex with me every now and then. Sorry, it's a bit of a sore subject, frankly the prospect of years stretching ahead if me with a partner who doesn't want to have sex with me is pretty depressing.

exciting times mother!

i've my first midwife appt on wed morning so pretty excited for that! they didnt say whether i've to bring a 'sample' - must check as theres no way i'll be able to produce that on the spot lol

Oh purple, these men really are funny creatures. Not surprised it's a sore subject. Things aren't 'normal' on that front for us, think DP just thinks it's all a bit odd, but thankfully things do happen every now and again. If I had no sex as well as NO BOOZE (can you tell I'm struggling with that?!) I think I'd go mad...

Fairy - I had to for mine, I'd just make sure you've had a drink before you go tries to blot from mind my second appt (should know better) when I literally had to squeeze the drops out, managed to fill under a third of a sample pot

Oh and mother - suddenly does seem real hey. Is good to be in the system, although my doctors appt was, quite frankly, rather underwhelming.

Mother and Fairy it sounds like things are progressing nicely for you both. Fairy I didn't miss wine either for the first 16 weeks while I was feeling like shit, but it's wearing a bit thin now and I would absolutely love a nice big Shiraz with my dinner.

I agree with all of you who have said a healthy attitude to food doesn't involve any restrictions. I don't deny myself anything and generally eat healthy balanced meals through choice most of the time, but if I want a pizza followed by a Solero then I am bloody well having one! I have to admit though, like Brave, I am slightly disappointed that I am fancying crisps, sweets and chocolate much more now than I ever did before I was pregnant. Oh, and Fanta of course!

Purple doesn't your OH want to do other stuff which doesn't involve penetration? My desire is much lower since getting PG but it's nice to maintain a level of intimacy. I have to admit though our choice of positions is becoming increasingly limited as the weeks go by so I can't imagine it being too long before we give up trying and just do other stuff instead. FWIW (and not that it'll make you feel any better) most men I know seem to dislike the thought of sex with a pregnant woman so I don't think your OH is on his own. I just seem to have married an oddball who is unaffected by it.

purple im afraid I dont think you're alone, lots of guys I know dont like the idea of sex while bubba is on board. My oh doesnt seem bothered, he's just carried on as normal which tbh is a bit weird.

cavort I love strawberry and lime cider so may miss having a few of those. The worst thing is that im having a 3 course murder mystery meal for my 30th on the 23rd March and everyone will be getting wasted but me.....plus I cant even tell them as I'll only be 7 and a bit weeks Im planning on having the non alcoholic kopaberg pear cider....fx no-one notices

Work gave me some alcohol-free Koppaberg along with some Baileys which is still torturing me from the cupboard at Christmas and I thought it was quite convincing taste-wise.

Thanks for the support folks, it's not the kind of thing you can talk about in RL! Unfortunately this lack of interest is not just a recent baby related thing. I go through phases of feeling angry then sad about it although this is probably the worst it has been. He will sometimes see to my needs if I've sulked or cried about it but doesn't want anything in return so it's not exactly intimate. He just genuinely doesn't seem all that interested.
Sorry to drag the thread down with my moaning though it's just something I'm really struggling with at the moment.