Graduated Elderberries (thread 2)

[Cavort]

Oops, seems we ran out of room without noticing!

Morning all,

How you feeling Purple? Hope you didn't go into the office today. YOu have my sympathies with useless sick-man syndrome. Mine's the same. Hope you're feeling better...

How's your nan Janey? Hope she's ok and you're ok...

To recap - loving the cute cats thinking they're dogs shenanigans, I currently have a zucchini - though I'm beginning to think it's actually weight of fruit/veg not size/shape of fruit/veg that the comparison is for. A watermelon out of a grape is simply ridiculous. (A watermelon has a diameter of a foot for goodness sake!)

Oh and congrats on news spillage Mother sounds like it went great 'born to be a grandad' that's so sweet!

And no scary fat feet growth here. I think it's also down to the extra weight pushing down on the feet, literally squishing the bones flatter as well as the ligaments letting them go.

We got a moses basket yesterday off ebay - and totally fell in love with the house we picked it up from... turns out it's on the market, too, a 5bed detached in a gorgeous small town, big garden, 200 year old house, worth about 4.5 times ours! Absolutely stunning though. Plus the family were lovely, so that was nice knowing the basket had had a happy baby - I think a girl

I felt slightly faint just imagining trying to squeeze a butternut squash out. Prefer not to think about pumpkins.

Brave are you buying anew mattress for the basket? I think it's recommended, but mine came with a waterproof mattress, so I could just scrub it and it should be ok, I think? Then again, it's probably not so comfortable for baby to sleep on this plastic covered mattress..what does your basket have?

I need to check, it's got sheets on at the moment. Was thinking about new mattress. But then, new mattress cost may well negate the point of buying a second-hand moses basket in the frist place. We always knew we'd need to get a new cot mattress but I only started musing this question on the way home from picking said bargain up.

Hrmmmpph. Oh hang on - they're not that expensive - £10-£15. Would still be a saving on a full priced one.

janey I hope your nan makes a good recovery.

I feel and look like crap today after only getting about 4 and a half hours kip last night then I had a morning meeting with a client, when I looked in the mirror in the car on the way back I looked shocking.

I had a lovely weekend, went on a hen do in London on Saturday, managed to get away with not drinking. Then went with 3 friends to see my friends 3 week old baby yesterday, he is gorgeous, tiny and vulnerable, but gorgeous. Plus his mum said I was a natural as by holding and rocking him actually slept for an hour longer than usual. One of my friends actually asked if I was preggo as she said something looked different, but I swerved it thankfully. My other friend brought her 2 year old who is an absolute joy, she always wants to sit on my lap and for me to hold her etc, so I feel a bit more confident about actually having one of my own now. Phew.

The most recent mum had an awful birth though, she lost over 2 litres of blood and had to have a transfusion, what was worrying is that although she arrived by ambulance as she woke up bleeding they let her struggle to give birth for 12 hours, they actually had no idea she was losing so much blood as a lot of it came after the baby was born. Rather scary though.

Mother at that story.
I have a new fear - being induced. Do not, I repeat, do not read those stories on MN or anywhere else.

Cs is starting to look like a quite interesting option..

Well I'm at home not at work, I'm alive and I've managed to eat a bowl of cornflakes so I'm considering today a success. Thanks for all your thoughts, I so seem to have bumbled from one minor disaster to another recently but I'm very aware it could be a lot worse so I'm not complaining and I really think I'm on the mend now.
Hope your Nan is doing ok today Janey.
We were looking at getting a second hand Moses basket (to be honest I think pretty much everything we're getting is 2nd hand) and I figured we'd need a new mattress like with a cot but then we've got a second hand pram and car seat and the pram comes with a carry cot so what's the deal with that? Are you supposed to buy sow sort of mattress for the bottom of those or do you just use blankets? Are 2nd hand prams a SIDS risk if mattresses are? They're all fabric but nobody mentions prams and car seats. It's very confusing and I haven't got friends with little babies ask questions. Unfortunately that also means I'm not getting all the cuddles and practice you're all getting either though on the plus side, I'm not hearing all the horrendous birth stories either! (Why does nobody seem to tell you nice birth stories? There MUST be some people who had an ok birth surely!)

I'm pretty sure prams have mattresses as well yes. Although i haven't yet unpacked mine to see.

Sorry hazel scared the pants off of me too, she was fine though very calm and philosophical about it. My friend who was their with the 2 year old was shocked they didn't give her an emergency cs as she had one with her daughter and her bleeding was far far less.

Oh and also, I'm sure I mentioned my evil ex friend before, the one who has my OH round for dinner when I'm abroad or at a hen do or the like, then tells him how wonderful her new mum friends are and how she wishes she met them years ago. The one who never let me hold her son as I have pets and she believed he was allergic from birth. The one who would meet her mum friends at the cafe 2 doors down from my office but then would always make excuses about why she couldn't spare the time to see me for half an hour afterwards. You get the picture. Well, karma got her, they were decorating the spare room for the new baby and took the radiator off to decorate behind it, they left it off for a week and went away, came back and of course the radiator valve had gone and it had flooded their entire house. She ran straight to her parents house crying and didn't help with any of the initial clear up. BUT because she was so stressed her other half took her away to a spa hotel for the weekend...that made me less smug.

Maybe the competitive mummy-martyrdom is to blame for the fact that we only hear horror-stories? Apparently the more you suffer, the better mother you are, hence the "no pain relief and 50 hours labour with 5 kilo baby, induced, stiches, tears etc etc.." stories instead of "oh, I found it really easy" ones.

I have at least one story, a friend of mine found it really easy and had a labour for less than an hour. Downside is that that didn't give them enough time to get to the hospital and she had the baby in the car..

Hazle I've feared induction since before day one. I can't think of anything worse than that amount of invasive intervention. Honestly scares me silly. As we have a family history of late babies (I was plus 12, DSis1 was plus 10 induced and youngest was plus 12 I think), I was worried anyway.

Then came the impossible dates scenario which might mean I'm forced into induction as much as a week before I'd be overdue by 'my' dates. It bugs me that dating scans are +/- 5 days, but they're written in stone as far as HCPs are concerned. (My dates, for those not yet bored of my rants on the issue, are 6 if not seven days AFTER theirs).

Maybe you should have fessed up Mother so you wouldn't get that horror story!

Key thing is that she's ok now, right?

nodnod to competitive mummy martyrdom. It's daft. You literally don't get a medal for how you give birth, only that you did.

Oh lord I think I'd have to buy a new car, can you imagine trying to explain that to the valeter?
I'll look into the carry cot mattress then, thanks.
Mr Useless, he who hasn't been sick since Thursday is still in bed, she who was lying on the bathroom floor contemplating dying in the early hours of Sunday morning has got up, fed the dogs, let them out, emptied the overflowing bin (why, why does he cram more crap into it i stead of taking i out?) moved all the recycling that Useless left strewn around the kitchen and is halfway through tackling the washing up though I'm not sure my stomach is up to tackling the grill pan that he made himself sausages on last night them just left stinking the house out...wibu to replace him for one that's not so useless? I'm thinking I need to get me a Thai bride or something instead.

Man-flu is funny. A little sniffle and they won't come out of bed, but something serious, and they refuse to go to the doc. "Oh, my leg has fallen off, you say? No biggie, I have another, no need to see anybody.."

YANBU Purple, he does sound like he needs a bit of a kick - there will be an actual baby to look after soon!

As for being overdue, it looks like you're supposed to be pregnant for an extra week in France, so at least I'd have some extra time. But being too late can be dangerous for the baby as well. That's the trouble nowadays - too much information! Would be so much easier if we didn't know and worry about the 1001 possible risks and complications.

Yes that's EXACTLY it, he casually after a day out pulls into the car park at A&E and says drive the kids home will you, I've had this bit of metal in my eye since Friday and its not shifting so I'd better get them to dig it out. All casual like its no big deal but a virus and he's dying and can't get out of bed. Kids get colds, men get flu, women get on with it

Hi all, thanks for concern. Nan is doing ok. Has kind of lost the power of speech but still has her appetite and is eating ok (typical of my family!) and definitely retains her sense of humour. Whenever she tries to speak - and fails - she just starts laughing. Bless her.

I think that new mattresses are recommended for second hand Moses baskets - I've bought one for the basket I've borrowed and it was only cheap. No idea about prams etc though .... Sorry

Bought my pram on Sunday, before nan was taken ill. Got an icandy strawberry and it's lovely. DP somehow managed to negotiate 18.4% off the total price (including a nappy bag, cup holder, maxi cosi and base) so whilst we spent a fortune we also managed to save a lot too.

Stating to feel very real now!!

I've got the icandy apple Janey but mine's not new. The strawberry looks a bit smaller and very nice, I have to say I'm a wee bit worried about how big and chunky the apple is!
Glad you Nan is keeping her sense of humour through it all.

janey I'm really glad she's still got her sense of humour, keeping my fingers crossed for her, it's good she's eating.

Congrats on choosing your pram!

When did you all start showing? MIL said to me yesterday "oh wow you're really showing - look at that bump!" I'm only 6 and a half weeks though. Is it just a food baby from my early eating for two?!

I love that saying purple 'kids get colds, men get flu, women get on with it' awesome!

Good news janey.

bear she is totally fine and really made light of it, we had to keep asking and were horrified to discover the full ordeal. Poor girl. She just looked at her son and said it's fine he was worth it. Shes a real trooper.

Alex - you don't start showing until much later (def post 12 weeks for me, and I was nearer 20 when it suddenly popped out loads) but having said that I had bloating (nice) from around six weeks due to slowed digestion etc. at six weeks your uterus is still well within your pelvis I think (so not "showing") but I def could tell a difference due to bloat from about 7-8 weeks too. Think it's very normal

Yes I think it's bloating maybe - feels quite hard. Been feeling nauseous quite a bit too, luckily I'm working from home today but will be tougher to hide that when I'm back in the office and on a photoshoot tomorrow!

Bloody hell, what a manic couple of hours! I need a very strong drink Fanta!

Everything concerning the baby was spot on at the MW appointment. Fundal Height is within the lines and I have one with a transverse lie now so at least she is heading in the right direction, but it was a complete palava getting the Fit to Fly certificate signed. Apparently MW's aren't allowed to sign them, it has to be your GP, so MW trotted off to ask my GP to sign it only to return saying because it isn't NHS stuff I have to pay (which I expected) and it's £118 for the consultation and £31 for the certificate, which I really didn't expect the fucking robbing bastards. Anyway, my MW managed to convince him I didn't need a consultation because everything is spot on so I just ended up having to pay the £31 for his signature, which is still absolutely outrageous. And then he wouldn't sign it with my maiden name on it (which is what's on my passport) so I've now got one with several names written all over it, which will no doubt raise questions. FFS, why can't anything ever be simple?

And then I got home to find the dog had chewed a big hole in the fence, escaped through it and was nowhere to be seen. I had a small heart attack followed by 45 minutes of running around like a total loon shouting him at the top of my lungs, giving my mobile number to total strangers on the street before I went home to see if he'd come back and a lovely man came walking down my street with him attached to a piece of washing line.

Brave you can't be forced into an induction, or anything for that matter. All a MW can do is make recommendations and offer you one. It's entirely your choice whether you accept or not. Inductions are offered at 42 weeks because there is evidence that placental function starts to deteriorate after that. The MW who took my ante-natal classes says she has a friend who declined and her baby was born naturally at 43+5.

I know quite a few people who have easy birth stories, it's just the horror stories are much more memorable

wow cavort that's certainly a fully day! Good everything is ok, but £31 for a signature is certainly a robbery!

And puppy has been very naughty, mine did the same once when they were small, I certainly understand the heart attack. Again, to prepare us for when DC decide to disappear in the middle of a busy street or something. Which I'm sure they will. Very glad he's back, of course.

Oh re induction - you're absolutely entitled to decline everything. It's just that there are increased risks. Given my age, if I get to 40 weeks with no signs of labour, even though I really don't want one I will be banging on the door to be induced. I can't explain how much I do NOT want to be induced, but at my age the placenta declines much more quickly so personally I wouldn't risk it. If I was 30 I would rather have waited though! The consultant last week said she completely understood so if I don't get a c section I think they will talk to me about getting things moving before I go too overdue...

How long is a reasonable time to go overdue do you think and how much does that change between early 30s and late 30s?

Glad that man brought your dog back cavort!