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Keeping pregnancy a secret over Christmas?

32 replies

elouiseplease · 19/11/2018 08:14

DH and I want to get the first trimester out the way before we tell. I am five weeks at the moment. We have three events before Christmas with both our families, and Christmas/new year itself and we normally love a drink. It definitely won't go unnoticed me not drinking, me turning down certain foods.. we've tried for so long for this baby and don't want to jinx it by saying too soon. How can I hide this? What excuses did people use for not drinking etc?

OP posts:
Jackshouse · 19/11/2018 08:16

Why do you want to keep it a
Secret? I did not tell anyone about my first pregnancy and I did miscarry and I found it difficult to tell them about my miscarriage.

If they are people you love and trust not to share with the world then tell them.

elouiseplease · 19/11/2018 08:18

@Jackshouse Struggled with infertility for two years and just don't want to jinx it. I've told my mum and my best friend, and DH told his brother. But we both have large families and didn't want everyone knowing until we were out of the danger zone.

OP posts:
Jackshouse · 19/11/2018 08:19

Do people know you have been trying? I would just say that abe been struggling to get pregnant and are following a strict diet.

Jackshouse · 19/11/2018 08:21

You can always be hungover or have a soggy tummy after over indulging and are giving your tummy a rest. No one asks for more info on diahorrea.

Get your Mum’s help on topping you up with non alcoholic wine and tonic with seed lip gin.

Fabellini · 19/11/2018 08:25

I kind of agree with pp, but I also understand that you might prefer to just wait...Lots of relations getting together for Christmas means that if you announce it you’d probably be the centre of attention and main topic of conversation - I personally wouldn’t have liked that.
You should probably start the groundwork now, you’re feeling s bit under the weather...think you’re going to have to see the GP, then antibiotics for a lingering infection...the ones you can’t have with alcohol...moan about it, refer vaguely to the infection...could be ears, could be boils on your bum...they won’t want to hear about it so you should get peace.
Congratulations! Flowers

harrypotterfan1604 · 19/11/2018 08:27

**No one asks for more info on diahorrea

^ this!! So very true.

londonfeather · 19/11/2018 08:29

Accept a drink but don’t drink it... get your husband/ mum to drink it. I think it’s the refusal of a drink that makes people suspicious but once you’ve got one I don’t think people check what you do with it.


FairfaxAikman · 19/11/2018 08:30

Do you normally drink something like Kopparberg? Have squash in the empty bottle (if it's informal enough to drink straight from the bottle).

greenlynx · 19/11/2018 08:36

Health reasons are the best like taking antibiotics which can’t be taken with alcohol for minor infection or digestion issue or antihistamines because you are itchy ...depends on your imagination You could take antibiotics even for dental issues.
Others are driving, work commitments or an event tomorrow at 8 am, PIL coming to stay this evening so need to keep myself sober. Also you could choose a glass with something that looks exactly like alcoholic drink so no one will notice.
I skipped a few events with relatives citing job related commitments and with colleagues citing prior family engagement. I was about 2 months pregnant on Christmas as a result of IVF after long treatment so was very keen to keep it as a secret at the beginning. I also had morning sickness and couldn’t eat much so not a good combination for partying.

HalfBloodPrincess · 19/11/2018 08:36

Alcohol free Kappaberg is lovely, if a bit sweet.

I know what you mean though. I had a mmc in April and don’t want to jinx this pregnancy, so still haven’t told anyone bar my mum at 14 weeks.

ScoobyGangMember · 19/11/2018 08:38

Tell them you're following a fertility diet. Google for names and details.

GandalfsRing · 19/11/2018 08:41

I’d youre going down the antibiotic route, a good one to say you’re on is metronidazole. It’s extremely dangerous to drink whilst taking them, and they’re usually given for both dental and gynaecology reasons.

Jackshouse · 19/11/2018 08:45

I disagree nothing else says pregnancy like I can’t drink because I’m on antibiotics.

ParadiseLaundry · 19/11/2018 08:47

I was pregnant over Easter once. I knew it would be suspicious if I was doing anything other than chucking wine down my throat Grin I got round it by getting an empty bottle of red wine and filling it with alcohol free red wine and letting people see me liberally filling my glass with the bottle and drinking it over the course or a few hours. Everyone else was having white wine so it made it a lot easier, but I suppose it's depends how far you want to take it

elouiseplease · 19/11/2018 09:00

Tonight we're all out for drinks! We always buy rounds. I just don't know how to hide it! Even if I have to tell family sooner than 12 weeks, all have had so far is a positive test (well, 8) and I don't want to tell them for it to then turn out to not be a viable pregnancy, or no heart beat, or god knows. Struggling to be positive!!

I drink white wine mainly, as do all my sisters, so if I'm pouring out my own bottle they will definitely be asking for a glass. I just can't see a way round it! Going to try antibiotics tonight with DH family. Think I'll definitely get caught out sooner than I'd like though!

Thanks for all suggestions Grin what an awful time of year to try and hide something!!

OP posts:
spugzbunny · 19/11/2018 09:04

The best way is to drink like normal but not actually drink. Order your drinks, pretend to take sips, then get rid when you can! The best way to do this is to order the same as your other half for example and subtly swap with him so it looks like yours is going down!

If you drive, you could also come up with a reason why you had to drive that night.

brookshelley · 19/11/2018 09:08

Don't say antibiotics because A) it's obvious and B) if you were that ill you'd be at home not partying.

Just say you're TTC and so you're not drinking.

brookshelley · 19/11/2018 09:09

I remember - one I used during a 2WW when I thought I was pregnant and had a work event was that I was cutting out booze on a low carb diet.

tattychicken · 19/11/2018 09:16

Yes the low carb thing is good! Loads of carbs in booze. Unless you're already very tiny...

ShowOfHands · 19/11/2018 09:16

The only people who ever go to great lengths to explain not drinking are newly pregnant women. I never pay attention to other people's glasses or drinks orders but when a woman keeps going on about why she can't drink, it's always pregnancy. Order your normal drink and give it to your DH or get your own drink in. Don't start wittering about antibiotics. You may as well show them your pregnancy test.

My brother likes a drink but occasionally has just a lemonade. He never feels the need to excuse his free adult choices.

mossyroundhill · 19/11/2018 09:19

Antibiotics is too obvious this time of year. I would say diet or, if you can get away with it, order something non-alcoholic at the bar that doesn't look suspicious (alcohol free cider?)

OneStepMoreFun · 19/11/2018 09:19

Congratulations. I hope you have a lovely, safe pregnancy.

You'd be surprised what you can get away with. Just accept a glass of fizz or wine and don;t touch it. Put it down somewhere and say you're really thirsty you're just going to get a soft drink as well, then drink that instead. If anyone asks if you have wine, nod, smile, say it's just been topped up etc and show them your full glass. In pubs, get the first round in and order a tonic without gin or an elderflower presse in a champagne glass. Then say you're driving and move onto soft drinks.
You get less attention this way that saying you're on antibiotics or knocking it back.

If you don't think this will work, just say you are trying to conceive and have been advised not to drink. But you will get the 'just one won;t hurt' pressure.

ArialAnna · 19/11/2018 09:19

Agree that antibiotics are a suspect excuse bound to invite speculation.

I'd either go with TTC, or if you don't like that idea accept the first drink and don't drink it (get your partner to take subtle sips now and then). When offered other drinks just say no thanks, I'm still going with this one. If anyone observes and mentions you're not drinking much, say you've had a dodgy tummy and don't want to risk upsetting it more.

preggersteach · 19/11/2018 10:00

I was pregnant last Christmas and didn't want to tell friends (family knew) but sometimes said I had a bad stomach, people don't ask questions! Just go to the toilet a lot and try and look a bit green as well - I felt and looked like crap through my first trimester so wasn't much of a try really! Or share drinks with your partner. I also went out on a works do and spoke to the bar man to say I was pregnant but no one knew and would he make me drinks that looked like fancy cocktails but had no alcohol in them but I would call them the cocktail name. He was really good (Just make sure you watch while he's making them!!) I said as I was having cocktails it was unfair to do rounds as my drinks were more expensive. Good luck and congrats x

preggersteach · 19/11/2018 10:01

And if people do guess unless they're knobheads they see you are trying to keep it secret and don't mention it anyways

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