My sister's son died at birth a couple of weeks ago. My family got to the hospital quickly and we all had a chance to cuddle and hold him, seems strange in a way but it was so lovely to meet him.
I can't even start to imagine the pain my beautiful sister and her husband are in. I can see that the grandparents are in terrible pain, suffering grief for the baby as well as pain for seeing their own child in such a terrible place and not a thing they can do to stop it.
Luckily my sister and brother-in-law will talk to me about it and I'm hoping that might help them just a little bit as time goes on. They don't want to see anyone and are avoiding most family and friends at the moment, I think it's just too raw.
I feel a fraud to be in such grief myself but I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment. There seems to be babies and pregnant mums everywhere and it makes me cry. I was so excited to be an auntie again and this is so shocking. My son's are upset, lot's of tears - they were excited too. My 7 ds cried again tonight, said it wasn't fair the baby didn't even get to open his eyes to see us and we had so much love waiting for him.
I'm a single mum, working full time from home and I feel very alone these last few days. I have a family and good friends, two lovely kids but I'm just so sad and lonely tonight. I know I have a job to do to look after my sister now, and I do it without a seconds hesitation. I know the pain is a million times worse for them, so it just seems a bit of a cheek to be sitting here crying. But I am so devastated and have so many tears for my nephew, for my sister and for all of us.
Not sure what I'm trying to say really, starting to waffle on! If you got this far, thank you x