Mum just died - what do we need to do?

[dandelionfluffy]

Just had word from my DB that my mum died today, it was a very sudden illness, from being at home doing her regular things, driving herself, less than 2 months ago, she was then in hospital and never went home.
I hope we can manage to sort out her affairs amicably, but of course best laid plans.
Just wondering what's next/first? I do tend to find that getting on with things helps me process them, though I'm waiting for things from my DB as well obviously.

DB is off to the hospital later to get paperwork. I gather we don't get a death certificate for several days.

I am executor as is a relative that I suspect DM thought would be able to help us but though he is sensible he is not as specialist as DM probably thought.

I know we'll need probate as she owned her own home, divorced for many years from my DF though amicably. She's left it to us (though DB and I both have 2 DCs and she may have left a proportion to them as well/instead, I know that for children/grandchildren the IHT threshold is increased), and the house is worth over the lower but not over the higher threshold (if you leave it to children).

DM had quite a few antiques and I think we have to have the contents valued? And then apply for probate once we know the value of the antiques?
I've read people just sometimes use a website like mouseprices to value the home - can we just ask a family member (e.g. my DF) to check which antiques might be valuable? Or do they expect proof?

I have no idea if she had life insurance. I know she had an occupational pension and some state pension.

DB and family are staying in DM house currently so there isn't an insurance issue I think. There's been someone there most weeks since DM went into hospital. All her paperwork is there (and it's quite organised) and DB has access to her laptop/phone.

Also fairly unusually (and I've NCd in case this is identifying though I'm a long standing MN user, cancel the cheque, naice ham) DM has left her body to medical science. I gather that sometimes they do not accept bodies, but I guess we'll have to see. This means we can have a memorial service whenever we want, I think.

Ask chatdgpt to give you a time ordered list. Givecit as much info as possible ie likely value of estate etc it will create a lovely easy to follow list.

DM me your email and I will share with you a guide that I share with colleagues at work, which I have updated over the years. I am so sorry to read your sad news.

Many sympathies for your great loss. You seem remarkably mentally well-organized seeing that your mother died only today! There is time enough to think about these practicalities, nothing needs doing immeiately or for days ahead. Can you instead now just sit quietly and feel your loss? Wishing you and you DB well.💗💗

I'm sorry for your loss.
You will need to make an appointment to register the death. Notification has to be done by a relative ir someone who was present at the time of death.
I suggest you and DB go together to do that and ask for the 'tell us once" service which notifies ulitites DWP etc. You will need at least 6 copies of the Death Certificate.

The hospital will probably give DB a booklet of advice about the process to follow when he collects the Papworth and DM's personal effects.
I'm sorry I can't help with the IHT questions but you should be aware that often antiques etc are not as valuable as the owner supposed.

I’m very sorry for your loss. I would pay a solicitor to sort of probate if you are worried about IHT at all.

Tell us once is a very good system for notifying all government agencies, eg the DVLA etc - you will get a code for this from the Registrar.

When you register the death the Registrar with give you a booklet in what to do and also give you a TELL US ONCE form which covers Local Authorities etc. Contact the probate department of all her utiliities and they will freeze her bills. They may ask for meter readings.
Contact all the financial institutions that she had dealings with as they need to freeze her accounts. They will release funds for Tax and funeral expenses.
Contact AGEUK who are experts and get them to send you their info pack.
Get 4 copies of the death certificate
A solicitor is not necessary for simple probate. The Probate office is very helpful to sort out IHT

First thing you need to do is register the death. The exact process does vary a bit by jurisdiction so look at your area’s website, often you make an appointment. You can make the appointment once the doctor has sign ed off at the hospital. You also need to select a funeral director, I know it sounds terrible at a time when you are grieving, but do ask for prices, if they are part of a chain, etc - independent is typically more personal and cheaper.

once you have your appointment and have chosen a funeral director you can’t do much until you get the death certificate. Do get several copies for ease, you also will get the tell us once number for all the government things. There’s no urgency on many things but I wanted to start making sure everything was in order

Unfortunately I have a pretty big work deadline - due middle of next week - I am nearly done, to the point where if I went and sat in a cave for the next 5 days I would still be done with it - so I'm using the current time to get organised, on the grounds that I may not feel like it in one or two days, or even one or two hours.

Plus, also, obviously it hasn't sunk in yet. There is that.

I should also say, DB is on the spot and I am several hours away (I was able to see her a week ago but had to get back for work, my work is quite flexible so I thought I might as well get tasks done while I was feeling OK and then I will have a lot more leeway to hand stuff off to other people if I'm not).

What to do after someone dies: Register the death - GOV.UK https://share.google/8SgTc907g1JjjHz5M

No practical advice just my deepest sympathies.
When my dad left us the tell us once was pretty rubbish unfortunately.

If you can find a document with her NI number on it that will be helpful for tell us once
Eg bank statement if was getting a pension

Unless the antiques are rare and worth many tens of thousands, the normal value of house contents is iro £500, quite honestly nobody is ever going to check (if the estate is perilously close the IHT limit they may be interested) .
We put the value of my FiL’s classic cars on the probate forms because they were a ‘known’ value of £50k.
I’d honestly ask the other executor to stand down unless they are very close, both in relationship and distance, simple stuff like getting things signed is awful otherwise.
Re- value of house, a zoopla valuation will normally suffice as long as there are recent sales to compare with.
Occupational pension ends unless a Spouse or minor child dependents.

I’m so sorry for your loss, and completely understand the doing things while you can mindset. The one thing I’d say is get lots of I’d copies of the death certificate. Even with Tell Us Once you’ll find you need it for all kinds of things - we had a dozen copies because different siblings dealt with different bits of admin and everyone seemed to need a copy.

Thanks, I suspect I will be dealing with everything remote, DB with local things though he does not live in the UK all the time, and the other executor is actually closer than either of us (most family are in a small area, the other executor is family, I think partly picked as fairly local, DB and I are just awkward and a long way away).

If DM had anything valued for insurance I guess that will be helpful, but it's good to know we don't need to get a full valuation of everything else.

Does the other executor need to sign everything that I need to sign? Isn't everything done online now (I know that's probably a bit optimistic!)

I am so sorry for your loss.
You should be able to register your mum's death in a telephone appointment and they will give you a reference for the tell us once service. The hospital should provide the paperwork necessary to register her death. Other than tell us once you should also inform her bank
Most things after that can be done when you are ready (probate etc) especially since there won't be a funeral to arrange. There isn't a set time limit for any of it.
The only other thing to be aware of is that, if your mum had a car, the DVLA will cancel your Mum's road tax, which in turn means that her insurance will be invalid. It would be prudent to make sure the car is stored somewhere safe until new road tax/ insurance is sorted.

No, unfortunately everything is not online!

I had to travel to the funeral director to arrange the funeral.

My brother travelled to get the death certificates (I'm not sure if he could have had them sent nearer to him).

My brother has been dealing with the estate and it has included sending probate certificates by snail mail. We are joint executors and I have signed a number of forms, which has meant him sending them to me (we live some distance apart), then I sign them and send them on.

I know that for children/grandchildren the IHT threshold is increased

I don't think that's true, but as we were under the IHT threshold anyway I may be wrong.

Aaand DB has just found out that we will need a funeral, but we have an idea of where it would be, and we are happier waiting several weeks (family abroad may want to come).
We don't have anywhere off road to store the car. DB has been driving it... (insured, don't worry).

My brother has been dealing with the estate and it has included sending probate certificates by snail mail.
It's probably better having me and said relative as executors, then - if DB is abroad and I'm nowhere near the offices. At least DR (dear relative) can post them to me using UK snail mail not overseas snail mail!

Forgot to say, some companies require original or certified copies of the death certificate. As I said, my brother has done most of it so I can't quote all the details, and he is maybe more scrupulous than some people might be (which of is no bad thing, as an executor), but there has been a lot of post backwards and forwards, much of it tracked, so yes being in the same country would help.

Sorry for your loss, when you get the death certificate and do the tell us once, don't tick it for dvla as theyl cancel the road tax and insurance. We didn't realise this and my mums car was clamped on my street the very day we were raking it to the garage to be sold. Needed to pay a few hundred to get it removed. Your dB should take out his own insurance for the car if he doesn't have it, whilst he uses it.

There is a service called Tell us Once that covers things like pension and any state benefits.

When Mum died DH got software that led us through process in correct order. It also had template letters forost things so all we had to do was add her name and date of birth and any account numbers she had.

@DidYeAye16 my advice is that it's already cancelled once she dies.

Has anyone heard of an electronic death certificate? DB has been told he might get one.

Not sure - My mum died last month so I'm currently going through the process.
I believe the death needs to be registered in the district in which the person died. I live the other end of the country from mum but had come down to see her when she took ill at home - unfortunately she died before I got there.

If your mum died in hospital the process may be quicker but for me the ambulance service were called by the carer who found her and they notified the GP, who sent a practise nurse out. They then sent a report to the medical examiner who reviewed the report to see if they agreed with the cause of death or if a post mortem needed to be performed (it didn;t). this took a week and only when the medical examiner confirmed they were happy could I make an appointment to register the death. I was worried that I'd have to return home before this could be done but the examiner said that it some cases the death could be registered via a phone call. As it happened I manage to get an appointment with the registrar very quickly so could attend in person before having to return home.

Unlike other posters, I'd say you don't need to get too many death certificates - they're £12.50 each, and you can always buy more copies and get them posted to you later if you ring up the registrar. I got two so I could keep one at all times while posting the other out, but the only company who have asked to see a physical copy were her pension company, who returned it promptly via registered mail. Other companies have just asked to either see a scanned version or just have the certificate reference number quoted to them - I think that they then may be able to look up the details online . And HMRC, DWP, local council etc are told when you use the Tell Us Once service (you get given a unique reference for this when you register the death).

I'm sorry for your loss

Not everyone is the same, there’s no right or wrong. Sorry for your loss OP.