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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

my baby has gone

49 replies

sadkim · 12/04/2008 13:41

i recently lost my two year old daughter to a horrible disease that was destroying her brain. i am finding it very hard to accept the fact that she is gone i am looking for some one to talk to who has been through a similar situation

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 12/04/2008 13:45

i am so sorry for the loss of your little girl.I havent experienced this myself but my friends lost their 12 yr old son.I am sure someone wil be along to give you some advice.i know there are a few mums on this site who also have had this happen to them.

orangehead · 12/04/2008 13:45

not been through this, but couldnt not post. I am so sorry. Sending you hugs

sarah293 · 12/04/2008 13:46

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Nicecupofwine · 12/04/2008 13:48

Hello Sadkim, I can only feel a tiny bit of the grief you are going through. It is so sad for you to be going through this awfully tragic time.
I lost my baby at 3 weeks old but it must be so hard to lose a child that had her own character, and you knew her so so well. Perhaps you can get some counselling - I spoke to another berieved parent at the time and it really helped me. CRUSE are a good group.

Original poster
sadkim · 12/04/2008 13:55

we know it was coming at some point. we were told she would,nt make it to 5 but we thought if we could get her through one mmore winter we would have her for at least another year. i know it would only be delaying the inevitable and she would have only got worse but to have the chance to hold my angel one more time i would give anything for that

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sarah293 · 12/04/2008 13:58

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Mitchell81 · 12/04/2008 14:01

I am so sorry for your loss.

soph28 · 12/04/2008 14:02

Just wanted to answer your post. Big hugs to you, you must be desparate to hold your little girl again- one day you will.

I know there are mummies on here who have lost lo's about the same age and I'm sure they will appear and will be able to chat to you.

When did you lose her? Have you got any other children? How is your dp coping?

Original poster
sadkim · 12/04/2008 14:02

some but its still to raw for everyone i am waiting for counselling but i,d much rather talk to people with similar experiences

OP posts:
Original poster
sadkim · 12/04/2008 14:05

we lost her on jan 14 she did,nt appear to be sick but we could,nt wake her up properly so we took her to hospital at 9pm and she was gone by 3 in the morning

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soph28 · 12/04/2008 14:12

You must be feeling so empty right now {{{{{{{{{{hugs}]]]]]]]]]]

Do you want to talk about her, tell us what she was like? What she did? Some of the memories you have of her?

Have you made a memorial webpage? I know some people find it really helps.

I am going out soon but will be back later to check how you're doing

shabster · 12/04/2008 14:21

No death so sad as that of a child....

So very sad to hear your story.

I have contact information for the Compassionate Friends if that is of any use to you? I can put it on here for you if you would like me to. Self help group for bereaved parents run by bereaved parents.

I have poured my heart out on MN since January when we got the internet. Feel free to scream, cry, laugh, worry - anything you need to do. xx

Original poster
sadkim · 12/04/2008 14:22

akira was a beautiful child who was perfectly healthy until she reached 7 months old as bright as a button when she suddenly began losing all the skills she had learnt she was initially diagnosed with cerebral palsy but we never accepted this diagnosis because she kept regressing to the point she was like a newborn again. over a year and a half she lost all her mobility, lost her ability to feed and ended up with a tube in her tummy, lost nearly all her vision and suffered with severe muscle spasms and epilepsy. despite this she was the happiest little girl you could meet and always had a smile for everyone, she went through more in her life time than any adult could cope with. in the end she was diagnosed with a condition called leukodystropy which was destroying the white matter in her brain thus destroying her but she is now an angel flying free

OP posts:
Original poster
sadkim · 12/04/2008 14:23

yes please any info is welcome

OP posts:
shabster · 12/04/2008 14:23

oh my love - anything I can do to help?

I can imagine the pain you are going through. Ive lost two of my four sons and you will feel as if you are in a very dark place at the moment.

Sidge · 12/04/2008 14:24

I'm so sorry for your loss of your little girl

I haven't lost a child but my DD2 has a life-limiting condition and every time she is ill I feel that fear.

I hope you can find someone to share your grief with, nobody can understand it quite like another parent.

shabster · 12/04/2008 14:26

Your little girl sounds a real fighter - like my baby boy who had congenital heart defects. Please believe me when I say that you did everything humanly possible to keep your DD here - all those long nights when you have held her and prayed (even if you are not religious) and sung to her and tried to feed her, comfort her, keep her safe.

Its such early days my love.

shabster · 12/04/2008 14:28

Akira - what a beautiful, unusual name.

Spill all your feelings here - dont be afraid to tell other mums. It is everybodys worse nightmare.

cornsilk · 12/04/2008 14:32

I am very sorry for your loss. You must be very proud of such a lovely little girl, she sounds wonderful.

Original poster
sadkim · 12/04/2008 14:33

i just fel so empty without her

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dippymother · 12/04/2008 14:36

So sorry for your loss.

I lost my DS when he was 8 months old to Acute Bacterial Endocarditis (blocking of the heart valve due to bacterial infection), so can empathise with your situation.

Time is a good healer and you will have your good memories, photos etc to look back on and remember when you feel able. Talk about your feelings to as many people (family/friends as well as MN) as you can - I certainly think that MN will help in that respect. MN wasn't around when I lost my DS, but I am sure it would have helped me, just knowing that there are other people out there who do know exactly what you're going through.

I did have counselling although tbh it didn't really work for me, I found talking to friends much better. They may have got bored with me going on and on, but they listened anyway.

Hope we can be of help.

Original poster
sadkim · 12/04/2008 14:46

i have my other children and a wonderful husband but they are dealing with their own feelings and i am doing my best to support them too but sometimes its easier to talk to an outsider because i do not have the fear of upsetting them

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lackaDAISYcal · 12/04/2008 14:50

no expereience, but just had to post and say I'm so so sorry for your loss

I can't imagine what you and your family must be going through

{hugs}

ajandjjmum · 12/04/2008 15:33

sadkim
You must be a wonderful mum - even at this time thinking of supporting the rest of your family.
How lucky Akira was to have you, although for such a short time.

ChocolateRockingHorse · 12/04/2008 15:41

Sadkim, sending you hugs, love and strength vibes to get you through these early months. Akira is a beautiful name and I'm sure she was a beautiful child xxxx

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